What is the funniest/naughtiest thing your children have done??

[MelbourneMum]

My ds1 (4) and his cousin have just sprayed our cat from head to toe with disinfectant (I left to bottle by the door for about 20 seconds while I grabbed something from the car!), their logic being that now he will be 'all clean so he can go on the bed'!
They got a telling off but I had to quietly laugh as I bathed the poor creature in the laundry sink much to his misery and it made me wonder what other mischief little people get up to across the globe..

Poor cat!

DD1 naughtiest (aged 2): buried my rings in the sandpit (silly me for leaving them on the kitchen worktop in the first place)

DD2 funniest (aged about 4, IIRC): watching the Queen Mother's funeral with her dad. "Daddy, what's in that box?" Daddy explains that the box is called a coffin, what it is for, what a funeral is about, etc. There follows a little pause, then DD2 says: "Well when the Queen Mother's finished coughing, will she come out of the box?".

My DD at about 3yrs craved constant attention.

She drew a 'mural' on the wall while I was on the phone and emptied a whole bottle of liquid soap into the downstairs loo sink to make bubbles. Also managed to lock me out of the house while I was putting the washing out.

DH was trying to show off DDs understanding of different English accents to my PIL.

DH: What do you have to get clean before you go to bed.
DD: A bath (short northern a)

DH: And what does daddy have?
DD: A barth (long southern a)

DH: And what does mummy have?
DD: A shower!

My DS when he was about 2 1/2 got hold of one of my expensive dark pink lipsticks from my spare handbag. He smeared the lipstick onto his lips and across his face and thought how fun was that what next?
He then drew across our tv screen with it and decided to paint the marble hearth at the bottom of the fireplace with it.
I have to say that it was really funny. Hubby took photos of him so that we have them to show his first girlfriend in about ten years time!!!

When dd1 and my nephew were 3 1/2 (they are nearly 6 now) they were playing quietly upstairs. When I checked on them they had been filling the sink in the play kitchen up with toilet water! There was a trail of water leading from the bathroom to the bedroom and a big puddle on the bedroom floor!

Also that week they covered themselves head to toe in vaseline and sudocreme.

Bless!

DTD1 wrote her 'birthday invitation list'

On her hand (and all the way up to her elbow)

In thick black marker pen (that was so thick she only had room to write 2 names)

One of the things they've done was to cut the wires on the rotary airer, when it was folded down.

Next time I put it up to hang some clothes out (a while later) the airer went up, and the wires fell down.

Must be honest, I found it hilarious for some reason, and I still don't know which of the little darlinks did it.

...and it was 3m before their birthday too...

my neighbour knocked on the door to say my ds 3 at the time (18 now) was in the window of his bedroom doing something to the window he wasnt sure what, I went upstairs to find him sticking my sanitary towels and panty liners to the window with the handy sticky tape on the back, they were a sod to get off

ds2 aged 5 (now 14) was sent up to his room to tidy it, 5 minutes later I thought those sirens sound loud went to have a nosy out of the window to see 2 fire engines and loads of firemen walking up my drive ds2 had decided it was far more fun than tidying up the room. I made him come down and explain to the man in charge what he had done and he got a telling off from fireman (and me) firemen were very good

dd3 (3 now) washed her hair, dd4 hair and our wooden bedroom floor in baby lotion and baby oil just as mil and fil pulled up to see our new house just after we moved in, room smelt nice for ages but hair took ages to wash!!

dd2 helpfully scraped bird poo off the car bonnet with a piece of gravel

Sticking with the sanitary towel theme, I once caught dd1 & dd2 aged about 3 & 2 (they're now 14 & 13) dipping sanitary towels down the loo & sucking the water out of them

I also caught dd1 aged about 2 at the time chewing on the bristles of the toilet brush

It'd take me all week to lists 2.4yo dd3's misdemeanors & ds isn't old enough yet to get up to anything much.

DS was nearly 3 when he put a large pot of strawberry yogurt in the middle of the livvinroom and jumped on it, "to see what happens"

We needed a new lampshade!

DS2 and DS3 climbing out of the bedroom window, running across the conservatory roof and jumping onto the trampoline.

They think they're feckin stuntmen, I'm sure.

My ds at 3 locked me out of the house and stood an watched me shout at him from the conservatory

ds now 5 was in the loo of a restaurant with dh. When a loud burp came from the cubicle next door. My ds said in his loudest voice 'pardon you', the occupant fled quickly without washing his hands.

We had a bit of a rift with the neighbours a couple of weeks ago regarding our fence. Neighbour decided to put a trellis on top of our fence but had placed it so high that it looked ridiculous. I asked dh to ask him to take it down, one it took 3' of sun from our seating area and looked awful from our side not forgetting that he hadnt asked to put it on our fence in the first place.

A bit of silliness went on between us and the neighbours over it and we hadnt realised that ds had heard any of it. Anyway, one sunny afternoon both us and neighbours were in out respective gardens when ds shouts over the fence. 'Nice fence you got there'. We could of died. He was frogmarched into the house pretty damn quickly.

I think he actually meant that he liked the new addition to our fence but of course it would of been taken as a sarcastic move by us.

Ds1 3.5 (now10). Hammered a hole in the bathroom wall (lathe & plaster) all the way through to the bedroom with a toilet roll holder which DH had left on the floor ready to fix when the paint he'd put on the previous evening was nice and dry! Cue me hastily filling and painting the wall Dh never noticed and beleive me he would have said something if he had.

When I asked DS what he was doing he replied that he was helping daddy - we had moved into an old cottage and Dh spent most of the first couple of months DIYing.

DS 2 3.5 (now 7) wrote I love mi mumy on the frame of his bed in felt tip pen. He blamed his older brother but when I pointed out it couldn't have been because BB could spell those words he looked v sheepish so, I gave him a hug and told him it was the best thing any one had ever written on a bed . He was very proud of himself.

pmsl at these. ds only 14 months so good to know what to look forward to.
Jellybrain, that is a real aaawwwww story, how lovable is that!!!!

ds age 6 at the time, the day before dd's second birthday cut off all her hair (and she didn't have much to start with!) Dh was supposedly looking after them both but he fell asleep!!

Ds's excuse was that he was practising being a hairdresser!!! Better than dentistry in the circumstances I guess!

FUnniest;
Sat on his bed strumming his guitar from 5 in a morning regardless of the pleading and threats from us, until 6.30 when I asked sarcastically if he wanted to go busking outside tesco (he stopped and then threw a wobbler when I said he couldnt go).
Dropped his pants and peed up the wall in the park saying "they shold get toilets here then",
Said to me this morning, "I reall love you, I love you a massive much. Do you know why? Becasue you are massive" (Gee thanks)
Dropped his pants and mooned at a snotty couple in the bank who were 'tut-tutting' at him constantly talking etc
I could go on.
God only knows what he's going to be like as a teenager - he's only 4!!

dd (8) cut off all of ds1's eyelashes down to the eyelid. Very lucky she didn't cut his eyelid. She wants to be a scientist and wanted to compare boy eyelashes to girl eyelashes. She copped a tongue lashing whilst I was secretly p*ssing myself at the sight of ds1 with no eyelashes.

When DS was about 6 he bid £444,444 for a Batman PS2 game on Ebay.............He wanted to make sure he won it.

Oh and he bid on two other games too and won theos also

Lready posted this on another thread, but it applies here too FUNNY;

Got up this morning to discover my camera case - with no camera. Asked GS to bring me my camera, which he did rather sheepishly, whilst saying "it rattles, new batteries dont fit" On checking the battery compartment, I found that he had removed the batteries and replaced them with ones that are too small. So, I fitted the correct batteries after his explanation that he used up all the others taking nice pictures. The sudden appearance of 144 pics on an otherwise empty memory disc, got me intrigued, so I transfered them all onto the pc. We have 144 pics of various parts of the cat and dogs anatomy (with close ups of eyes, ears, the dogs large black patch on her back). Pics also include each of GS's paintings/pictures that adorn the Kitchen cupboards, the ceiling light, the patch on the ceiling where the bath leaked and we never got around to painting over it, the underside of the kitchen table, GS's feet from a number of different angles, a pic of his pyjama leg with something on it that I thought was a flaw on the pic (until GS explained that it was, in fact a bogey!! he had picked his nose and wiped it on his trousers because he wanted to see what one looked like on camera), he had repeatedly altered the camera settnigs to take pics in sepia, red and monochrome. We have a self-portrait he took of himself giving the dog a hug and grinning manically at the camera and whilst the cat looks perturbed throughout most of his photo session, for the last 15 or so shots, the dog obviously decided to go with the flow and is portrayed in numerous poses (on her back with legs in air, sat begging, playing dead, curled into a ball, standing up, etc,etc). Dh and I spent about 20 minutes trying to compose ourselves after i suggested that the bloody dog must have gotten into the photo session with GS clicking away andsaying things like "Thats it baby, puot, show me some more fur, work it baby work it."

and by the way - the camera is stored in a LOCKED filing cabinet - he had picked the lock with a paperclip ...WTF (he's 4!!)

oh and I am soooo going to save all the pics to show any prospectivepartners that he brings home in adulthood - i will have me revenge one way or another