He's in nursery, I'm back at work... and I feel baby is different

[Cjames1986]

My little on started nursery 2 weeks ago, at 11 months. He's been a super happy baby, never whinges, always smiling and playful and gives the huges cuddles.

But since he started, he's LEARNT to whinge (and so does, constantly - over anything and everything), and on top of that, feels naf all day long because he's been picking up cokds, Croup, conjunctivitis routinely since he started. I feel like he's changed, and that he's just not my baby, and it's making me feel quite alienated.

I applied to condense my hours before I returned, so that I could have Fridays back. So, last Friday is my first day off with him.... and I felt completely detached. I just wanted to be anywhere but near him, perhaps because I know he's struggled to settle into nursery, so if I get too close to him I'll see in him that he is distant from me and doesn't love me as much. There is this sudden pressure to make sure the precious time I have with him in the evenings and weekends are PERFECT, because it's my only chance to show him I still love him, which overwhelms me so I just back off because I can't handle it. Is this totally weird?!!? I'm worried I'm just making my fears a self fulfilling prophecy!! 😢 x

I know how you feel, Ive been back at work full time for 4 weeks now and its hard. Its not weird at all. Its only been two weeks, so give it time to adjust. He is probably overwhelmed with sensory overload from the nursery with all the other kids and goings on.
My son goes to a childminder and his sleep pattern is often messed up as he doesn't nap exactly like he did at home with me. that is annoying me a bit as he needs his sleep and its not fair that we sometimes have an overtired baby in the evenings. Like you say evenings and weekends are so precious! He picked up some colds etc too and sometimes been grumpier than usual. Like your son he's usually a happy cuddly baby. I was so worried he will prefer the childminder instead of me!

I have to say though that the past week or so hasnt been as bad and Im thinking it maybe just takes time to get into the routine and to adjust. I think it also helps that Ive became a bit more relaxed about it all and not being so anxious about it. So give it time and shower your boy with love and affection as usual!

You do sound very anxious OP. Hace you had a lot of anxiety since LO was born?

OP, you sound overly anxious - nothing you described sounds concerning. At 11M they are going through a very important development stage, they are starting to become more dependant and "whinging", which is a form of protest is a perfectly normal development phase - it will only increase as they get more demanding. Eventually whinging will be replaced with pointing, words, and other forms of communication (to further demand, request, protest, show, etc)