When your 14yr old has a temper tantrum, what happens next?

[sleepineed]

14yr old (possible ASD) has had a massive tantrum. Throwing, kicking walls, making threats. Scared us and his sister. Lasted 20 mins and now he is calm and in his room. What next? What consequences? Or do we just carry on as if nothing happened?

There will be a consequence (loss of Xbox for a specified amount of days) but I want to restore the relationship, don't want to be cold and detached but also want him to realise that this behaviour affects us all.

He should just have to clean up the mess he made and apologise. I don't think losing Xbox (unless it was the Xbox that made him mad) is very useful since he was probably losing control of his emotions, not calculating the best way to upset everyone.

Thanks Tiger, it was the Xbox that made him mad, which then transferred to us. I am constantly questioning how best to deal with him when he gets like this, do we punish the anger ? How do we teach him to better control the anger?

If you think he may have ASD has he been assessed for ADHD too OP?

The Teenage Section on MN is pretty good too if you ever want to come on over and check it out

He is being diagnosed for ASD at the moment and I am pretty sure he will diagnosed. Haven't explored ADHD although sometimes I wonder.
Will check out the teenage section.

I'd definitely read up on ADHD. They often go hand it hand