Does anyone else's kids acutally listen to them?

[johnnycashlover]

I am really beginning to question whether its the tone of my voice, the content of what I say, or just that my kids can't be bothered with me. Really, truly, they just do not listen to me. They are 5, 7 and 9, and I have just spent the afternoon baking flippin Nigella Lawson cakes with the blighters, and I felt like I needed an interpreter or someone to actually comunicate in whatever way they will respond to. I am now covered in a thin film of sweat and wondering if its gin o' clock yet. And its only week 1 of the summer holidays.

Nope, they never listen to you and never will. My DS is 17 and still doesn't take a blind bit of notice to what i say!!

you may as well just stand there and say "blah blah blah blah blah"....

I do this sometimes and it's surprisingly therapeutic..

Selectively.

Not when I ask them to do something, or warn them not to do something.

But they always appear to have listened when I mentioned that we might go camping or we might go to the cinema....as I discover when we decide not to do those things.

oh yes

Sunday

dh: be careful that puddle looks very deep you might fall
dd1: SPLOSH. SCREAM. SCREAM. SCREAM

Saturday

me: don't put your hand in there
me: don't put your hand in there
me: don't put your hand in there
me: FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE WILL YOU LISTEN DON'T PUT YOUR HAND IN THERE

You know what, the whole blah blah blah thing is really true. I stood in the kitchen the other day and explained to my husband that I was having an affair with someone I met in Argentina (where I have never been) and I was leaving him to bake pies for the rest of my life and he actually just nodded over his paper. Clearly the children have inherited his gift for listening.

LOL at Johnnycash's dh.

Oh actually I take all of it back. They can hear me typing on the flamin keyboard and have all started fighting. I literally cannot do a thing!!!!!

I only have the one and the not listening is driving me mad, a friend said to only talk to them when you are a few inches from their face and then the listen, sort of works but wholly not pratical

My DS hardly ever listens to me

So I get hacked off
Raise my voice
Feel bad
Stoke my 'You're a bad mum you are' negativeness about myself

Tried positive discipline, tried planned ignoring, had his lugs checked, on a waiting list for Ed psyche...can't win as a mum really

But he can hear 'Ice cream' 'park' 'biscuit' 'banana' and 'lego star wars' at 100 paces tho

my dd listens - she is 7
I have always tried to say positive things to her and not to raise my voice (can't claim 100% success obviously) - and most of the time she does listen

I have no idea if this would work with 3 kids at once, I imagine just the 1 is a whole lot easier!