Toddler Behaviour

[gigi556]

First time mum here. Really struggling with my son behaviour (almost 20 months).

He refuses to do a lot of things when asked (brush teeth,wash hands, etc). I get this is normal but how do you actually handle things that are non-negotiable? Telling results in anything from a simple no to a crying whine or tantrum.

There is currently a lot of crying and whining when stuff doesn't go his way. Sometimes I struggle to tell the difference between actually upset crying and crying to get his way... sometimes one turns into the other. I try to ignore all tantrum style behaviour. Not sure if this is working. I'm really trying to praise all good behaviour as well.

He's very attached and clingy with his dad and this is also really challenging. He wants his dad for everything and it's not always possible. How can I help him with this separation anxiety???

Dummy use. He wants his dummy all the time. I don't want to deprive him of his only comfort object and I do try to limit to sleep but this doesn't always happen. I don't want him to have it in his mouth all the time. I do think he needs something. The last two days he's asked for boob and I stopped nursing in October....

Hi Gigi

My daughter is 20 months and also often quite stroppy about brushing teeth, hair, etc. As it's non-negotiable I ignore the protest, tell her why I am doing it and do it myself (I sing a silly song to try to cheer her up). Often comes with a lot of shouting but I figure it will get better as she gets older (optimist here). I have also found that getting her to brush her dolls' hair and teeth (with a different brush) helps a bit (this also seems to help with nappy changes).

Afraid I can't help with the dummy as no experience of this but might be worth a search for old threads on this as I think there are lots. X

My son does this too:( especially with the teeth brushing. I tell him either you brush your teeth or I do it for you. He says "no!" So I tell him. "Alright I'm going to do it for you then." I literally pin him down and brush them for him. He cries like someone is hurting him, but if I didn't do this his teeth would never get properly brushed. Also have you thought about ditching the dummy? Dummies are only meant to be used for comfort until 6 months. He's nearly two! I'd ditch it completely. He's a big boy now, not a baby.

Brushing teeth was just one example really. I don't really want to physically force the issue. I was hoping for advice on a way to communicate better.

I wanted to get rid of the dummy by 12 months which I'd read was recommended but I wanted to stop breastfeeding more. In the end it took me longer to stop breastfeeding than I thought it would so the dummy stayed. I've read if you don't get rid of it before a year it's best to wait until after 2. It's normal and healthy to have a comfort object like a dummy, blankie, teddy, etc. think we need to encourage a replacement!

Hello! My daughter is 22 months and some days things like having hair washed/brushed/teeth brushed/nappy changed are absolutely fine, other days it's crying and screaming. My DP is very good at giving in to this and putting the TV on or giving her a biscuit... so that really does not help as she now thinks it's a thing. Think the only thing you can really do is explain why it needs to be done, let them know you understand that they're upset and offer some cuddles and praise for afterwards. I am also optimistic that it's a phase.

As for the dummy, don't feel bad that he still has one - he's still young and LOADS of kids his age and older have one. We got rid of DDs by an absolute fluke. She was obsessed with it until one day at about 18 months we literally just decided to hide them all and be strong. It was a hellish day, and the night was worse, but after a couple days she didn't care and just accepted it was gone. Won't work for every child but worth a shot. If not then you're right - once they're over 2 it's supposed to be easier to explain to them why the dummy has to go and can even make a bit of a ceremony of giving it to the 'dummy fairy'

Hi,

We had an issue with tooth-brushing a while back. We ended up getting her 2 different coloured brushes and letting her choose which one. That works most of the time. Sometimes she has to brush daddy's teeth at the same time, or dolly, but we just go with it! hand / face washing can be a battle sometimes, but it helps if I ask her to choose whether she washes hands or cleans teeth first.

I've never used a dummy, but I have a similar issue with bottles.
Good luck!

Cool. Thanks!