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6yo DD, doesn't talk at school, has separation anxiety - how to help her?

4 replies

SunlitSlopes · 25/01/2019 09:32

I have a lovely DD who, while she at times has the usual, erm, challenging 6yo behaviour, is in general a delight. I also have an 8yo DS. Way too much detail below so skip to the bottom para if you like!

She is extremely shy (unfortunately shyness and anxiety run in the family) and doesn't dare to talk at school, she'll only whisper. She is currently getting professional help with that and her teachers have been brilliant as well. She is bright and does well at school, and has plenty of friends (who don't seem to mind the whispering!). She enjoys school and looks forward to learning new things. (She speaks normally at home where she's comfortable and has a wide vocabulary.)

She finds it really difficult for me to leave every morning when I drop her off and always has to be handed over to the teacher to hold her hand/sit on her lap etc.

The problem is that it seems to be getting worse. She doesn't want to go to her father's this weekend, even though they adore each other, because she doesn't want to leave me. She knows she can always call or Skype me but "I want to hug you and kiss you and sit on your lap," she says. I/we (her father and I) are not going to force her to go this weekend if it's really going to make her so unhappy but in the long run we obviously want to build up her confidence a bit and help her not to be so fearful/clingy.

Did you have a child who was really clingy around this age? Did anything help to reassure her? In addition to wanting to help her, I've also got myself to think about - as the days get longer I can't see myself getting into bed at 7:30 any more, and I really need some time to myself occasionally!

OP posts:
SunlitSlopes · 25/01/2019 09:34

Oh, DD & DS have the same father, and DS will be going to his house this weekend too.

OP posts:
SunlitSlopes · 25/01/2019 16:59

Anyone? Smile

OP posts:
IvyMittlefart · 25/01/2019 18:41

Bumping for you. Sorry to hear about your DD. Our DD also aged 6 will not speak to adults she does not know but talks confidently at home and to children out of the house. She says that she feels sweaty when she has to speak to adults and has asked me to help her with this. I don’t know where to start. She loves school and is confident to sing and dance in front of adults but cannot hold a conversation with adults other than class teacher. Hope someone who knows how to help comes along soon.

0gfhty · 28/01/2019 22:43

Have a look up about something called selective mutism. It’s an anxiety disorder and you can usually self refer to speech and language therapy depending on the care pathway of your area. There’s a good section on the nhs website about it and a charity called smirk, there’s some really helpful information on how to deal with these sort of behaviours in young children. Whispering counts too it’s not just kids who don’t talk. With some children it can be beneficial for parents to spend time with them there for a while until they get more confident.

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