At the end of my tether with DSs fighting and general bad behaviour

[worriedandstressedAAA]

Absolutely sick to death of DS1, 10, and DS2, 8, fighting. They have massive arguments on a near daily basis over Fortnite which result in them screaming and hitting each other so that Fortnite gets banned (probably a good thing) but also start rough housing when brushing their teeth, messing around, being really loud etc etc. This evening the TV was switched off and I sent them upstairs to the bath which they decided to share whilst I tried to settle DS3, 7 months. DS3 is just falling asleep when I can hear screaming and messing from the bathroom, so loud that is wakes DS3 and I fear that one of them is going to really hurt the other. Gave them a massive telling off but it will be the same thing tomorrow. Their table manners are also atrocious, despite me constantly reminding them. Feel like I am constantly telling them off to no effect. DH (who is not DS1 and DS2's dad) has given up and says they are so badly behaved that he doesn't want to interact with them so I am left to try to manage them. They are a million times better when they are not together so wondering if I need to do something drastic like alternate nights at their dads, just so that they are not together. DS2 is angelic at school; DS1 is not very well behaved. Feel like I am failing as a parent. Can anyone help?

They're too young to play Fortnite anyway so just get rid of it.

Do they do a lot of outside activity during the day? If not, try and increase it - get them into sports where they need to train on weekday afternoons, or Scouts.

They do loads of physical activity. They have sports clubs every day after school and that day they play football in the local park. Literally all their friends are on fortnite so very hard to just ban it. They don't really watch any other TV.

Hmm.. well I'm more of a tough mom approach. So what I would do in your situation, I would say to them they're not allowed to be together unless they're going to respect each other. End of. They begin fighting separate them right away. You to this room and you to this room. And I'd do that until they began getting along. I'd throw out fort nite god it causes chaos to evryone from what I've read. The eating part, id do the same. They eat in separate rooms until they can eat well together again and behave. I know it's important to eat as a family or what not but I feel like when there's a problem and you've tried everything sometimes drastic measures is what it takes. My mom was quite strict and when my sister and I would play around growing up, she'd make us eat in separate rooms. I didn't care to be honest lol however it made it boring and we'd actually eat. She did it until we both just said ok, well behave. Worked for my mom lol just an idea.

Why does the fact that their friends have fortnite matter? If it's causing problems in your house then don't have it. Their friends parent aren't having to manage them you are.