My son is a challenging boy and I don’t deny it. He is nearly four. I recently removed him from a private nursery because they seemed to be letting him run wild and though he isn’t a bully, there was clear animosity between him and a group of other kids and neither side was saying very kind things to each other. However nursery denied all knowledge - I only found out because I was told by one of the other children, story corroborated by my son, and one day when I collected him I found the kids hurling insults at each other while teachers were away in a different part of the room. All the other parents seemed to know my child and Indidnt know theirs which was a bad sign. I was called in one day because he had a tantrum there where he lashed out at his teachers and made a mess of the room. On top of all this he was having extreme tantrums every night and said he hated nursery. I finally removed him and put him in a different nursery as this behaviour started when I began him there and I was getting bad feelings about the place anyway. Now his behaviour has slowly improved but through it all his teacher has told me he is great, socialises well and she has no concerns. I have to really press her for any kind of detail though and she rarely offers information which I find surprising. Meanwhile, I find it very hard to believe my child is having no issues at all. He has improved a lot since changing nurseries but even when he was at nursery last year (different nursery) he had his ups and downs and yet now when he has been most challenging, to the point of having violent meltdowns with me (even in front of this teacher once!) he is supposedly perfect in every area - usually they would tell us there’s something he could be doing better at, but nothing.
I worry that the previous nursery has told them something about us to save their own reputation - maybe this nursery is worried we will withdraw our son if they tell us his true behaviour?
I feel paranoid suggesting this but at the same time it’s really important for my sons sake that I am getting an accurate report of his development.