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4 year old being difficult

Tjorven64 · 12/01/2019 10:19

Ever since he turned 3 he's been difficult to handle. He was an excellent baby, and slept well and he still does.
Now he wants to be naughty, he thrives by taking the p I s s. He is a late talker and progressing well but he's always taken his time with development.

He has ridiculous tantrums which I ignore as soon as we head home from nursery or playground. I hate when the neighbors sit by their windows and enjoy the show. I always ignore his tantrum and just walk away.

He refuses to independently feed him self with cutlery. If I don't feed him he won't eat and cries.

He likes to do high pitch screaming alot and is an inconvenience to go out with.

He starts reception in September, but the senco responsible wants him to start another school that's an hours walk from me, because she doesn't believe his future lays in their school. It's very difficult because I **cannot go for long walks in the morning with a tantrum prone child that will attend lessons in a grumpy mood.

He's aggressive at nursery, by that I mean he gets angry easily and throws toys around him. He has never hit or pushed or bitten anybody though.

Im a single parent, and I'm just fed up. It's hard for me to like my sons person cuz he's so trying. Sometimes I wish he was gone or was never born. My ex is an chronic alcoholic so the social would always be involved if my son would see his father. But no, we got no contact. And that chapter is closed.

So what should I do? Gag him when he screams? Lock him in a cupboard when he's naughty? Discipline will not get into his gold fish brain. It's same old, same old... lesson never learned.

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NewName54321 · 12/01/2019 14:22

What should you do?

Ask for a meeting at Nursery to discuss his behaviour. Try to set it up a few days in advance so they can really observe him and any triggers, and you cabin keep a diary of what is happening at home. Bring someone with you who can listen and take notes.

See if Nursery can refer you for a parenting course (this is not to criticise you but to give you more “tools in your box” for managing his behaviour). See if Nursery can set up a behaviour plan with you that you both implement. Try to identify the behaviours you want to tackle first and which ones you can live with/ work around/ ignore/ avoid for the moment, so it feels more manageable.

Even though he is talking now, they may need to refer him to speech and language therapy if the behaviour is due to his level of language comprehension or expression. Possibly to occupational therapy as well if there are sensory issues going on.

Get his eye-sight and hearing checked if not done very recently as he won't realise if there is a problem and he may be missing instructions and cues and not know what is expected if him.

Having all this set up will give the school a head-start as they will have some strategies and know you will be on-board with working with them to improve matters, which may make their (quite dreadful) attitude a bit more positive. There is still time for improvement before he starts school if things are put into place soon.


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