ADHD?

[gruffalomom]

My just turned 3 year old has always been a handful. He is very lively and very strong willed.

At around 18 months he went through a stage of head banging during tantrums. It was really distressing. He outgrew that but still has some huge episodes. I call them episodes because they seem different to his normal tantrums to me. they last longer, are quite violent and he cannot be bribed or begged out of them.i literally have to just hold and reassure him until he seems to come around.

He is super affectionate and social and a real little chatterbox but it is hard to keep him still.

He is literally full on from morning until night.

Having read up on it he seems to fit with ADHD but I've tried to get help and just keep being told he is the extreme end of normal.

It's not that I am keen to label him but I need help and I feel he does too.

He has some other odd behaviours too like he makes funny whiney noises and behaves as a puppy would. He can talk but tends to make these noises when he is being soppy.

Can anyone offer advice?

Firstly, professionals don’t tend to diagnose a child with ADHD until around 6-7 (in the Uk, and this may differ by area). It is really hard to tell at this age, as sometimes small children are a little hyper and calm down as they get older or it could in fact be ADHD.

Does he attend nursery or pre-school? Do the staff have any issues?

Starting point would either by Gp or health visitor who can make a referral to see a paediatrician who can help you and your child further!

His tantrums do sound like they could be some form of a meltdown.

You can tell the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown..

Generally tantrums, children do it to gain attention from their parents and get their own way and are in full control over their actions... and often stop once given what what they want.

Meltdowns can often be uncontrollable, a child isn’t fully aware of their surroundings, lose lack of safety and aren’t doing it for their own way, as well as taking a while to calm down.

Does it sound more like a meltdown to you?

My son is 7 and actually diagnosed with autism, but I do believe he has ADHD too. He was too young to be diagnosed with ADHD when he was diagnosed with asd but I’m hoping to look into further it. He has all the signs. He is a constant ball of energy!! 😴😴

JKCR thank you for responding. Yes absolutely these sound like meltdowns. He has tantrums too, but these are different and as you say he is not at all in control. It's actually really upsetting as he is so plainly distressed and I can't help him out of it. They last so much longer than a regular tantrum and there actually isn't anything he is trying to gain from it - though sometimes they do develop out of a regular tantrum.

These meltdowns don't happen at nursery - or at least not yet. But they are sharing some concerns with me about the extremities of emotion he shows and his inability to focus or be patient. They have seen a meltdown when I have come to take him home, but it doesn't tend to happen when he is there. They and the health visitor have said this is common. Mainly the walls of nursery are literally smaller and there are less reasons to restrict him (No roads, sharp edges, stairs etc) as well as him seeing me and home as his 'safe space'.

I have an older child and feel he is missing out a little because of the focus and energy the little one requires. Which makes me sad for all three of us honestly!

The extremes of his behaviour are affecting us all, him included. He is becoming more and more clingy to me and more anxious of new situations and I feel it's all connected. If only I had a better idea of what was going on I could be learning how work with it