3 and a half year old girl development

[kamikazi929]

My wife and I have a 3 and a half year old girl. The past couple of months we have noticed changes in her behaviour and development.

Her behaviour is erratic at times, we skipped the terrible twos as she was absolutely golden child, now she doesn't listen, doesn't want to maintain eye contact when we talk to her, doesn't want to do anything physical or anything mentally challenging, all she wants to do is stay in and watch TV. She can't even stand still, she just fidgets all the time.

We have now withdrawn the TV and tablet from our lives and have started to withhold toys if she doesn't do something she has been asked to do. Although we are not sure if this is the right approach.

For example today we asked her to write her name. Which we have seen her do in the past, but she doesn't want to do it or even put in any real attempt at doing it. She just carries on messing around. She can't even ride a scooter or scoot along on a bike.

She has friends that can do all of this and it's so embarrassing. She has other amazing qualities and is such a loving caring child and so aware of people's emotions which is unusual for a child of this age we have been told.

We are at out wits end with her and feel so disappointed.

She’s 3 ffs. What purpose does it serve to command her to write her name? Many children that age cannot ride or scoot, stop comparing her, it’s awful that you feel embarrassed by your own tiny child.

I don’t believe in punishments for such young children, it’s a really lazy way to manage behaviour.
Read up on positive reinforcement. Praise the good, ignore and distract from the bad.

I'm a nursery teacher and I work with 3-6 year olds everyday all day. In child development world there's a phrase we use called "threenager" and the reason for that is because at 3 the brain releases a massive amount of neutrons into the brain which causes 3 year olds to go through a sensitive period. She is now realising she is her own person. She is an individual not just part of mom. Therefore, at this age it is very important that you RESPECT her entirely. View her as an individual. Respect her decisions and allow her to be as independent as possible. Speak to her with respect and treat her the way you would treat any adult. The way you interact with her will determine how she interacts with you. When you speak to her go down to her level so she is face to face and talk to her in a normal and respectful tone. Ask her what she would like to do for the day. Listen to her, and in case she says "watch tv." Maybe give her two different options that you're willing to do. Ex: "would you like to go on a walk or would you like to try and ride your scooter/bike." And whatever she chooses allow her to do. She is an individual human being, she in not your property and unless she's in real danger, allow her to make as many decisions about her life as possible. Ex: would you like egg or porridge for breakfast. Allow her to choose. In her word robe have outfits hanging that she can choose from. Ex: choose your outfit you'd like to wear today. Ex:choose the choose you want to wear today. My point is respect respect respect. No baby talk, no greater her like she is your property, no talking or shouting. Simply treat her like you would like to be treated when you're old and someone else has to care for you the way you are caring for her at the moment.

She is 3 years old and she is an embarrassment to you!! i have no words

Very unfortunate use of the word "embarrassing", I am sure he didn't mean it in the way it sounds.

Embarrassed?! That's a real shame that you feel that way about your little girl.
I think it's right to limit screen time and encourage other activities but you don't need to force her to write her name. My 3 and a half year old boy doesn't give any shits about the following:
Writing his name
Colouring
Jigsaws
Listening for more than a few seconds

Am I disappointed in him? Of course not. He's 3. Here are all the things he loves:

Trains
His scooter
Ben and Holly
Polly Pocket
Playmobil
Getting out of bed earlier than I want him to.

I think he's awesome and I'm not for one second embarrassed about what he can't yet do. Enjoy your DD: take her to the park, teach her to use a scooter, take her to play with friends, ride the bus, play with toys. Don't heap unrealistic expectations on her or be embarrassed that she's not a carbon copy of other children

wow, I feel so sorry for her. Having parents like you. you should feel embarrassed and disappointed in yourselves. Read your post back to yourself!!! she is three, all children are different. Her development is not slow if anything it is slightly advanced as 4 years old is supposed to be the beginning of empathy. Riding a bike, scootering is not important at this age, writing your name definitely isn't. Stop comparing your special individual little one to every other kid. I assure with 100% certainty from what you have said that this child is not delayed in any way. I studied infant psychology before going into the speciality I'm in now. She is fine trust me YOU are the only problem I see here

OP, take not of what tomhazard posted...