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Original poster

Do you make your kids say "sorry" when they have been naughty?

62 replies

SpinedMicrathena · 28/06/2007 08:04

That's it really. Please discuss.

childcare.about.com/od/behaviors/qt/sorry.htm

OP posts:
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Oblomov · 28/06/2007 16:58

In my head "yeah right, oh that's o.k. then "

pointydog · 28/06/2007 17:07

I don't make them, no.

I'd focus nmore on them understanding what they had done (how do you think small kid feels?).

SOrry for the sake of it can be pretty meaningless

meandmyflyingmachine · 28/06/2007 17:09

Yes. But it is a nice addition. And also provides something for the 'victim' rther than just the miscreant. IMO.

Sorry by itself obviously pointless...

nappyaddict · 28/06/2007 18:02

but surely they should say sorry because they genuinely are, not because they are made to.

when i was younger mum never forced us to say sorry but most of the time once we knew what we'd done was wrong we did anyway.

nappyaddict · 28/06/2007 18:06

pointy dog how do you deal with the situation then? i want to be a mum that doesnt make my child say sorry when the time comes too.

sparklesandwine · 28/06/2007 18:24

yes i get mine to say sorry - i always explain what they have done/said to upset someone try and make them understand and ask them to appologise

my older 2 can understand the importance of saying sorry and showing that they are because they understand how it feels when they have been made to feel sad and i just remind them of this

DS2 is 2.5yr and he can say sorry etc but doesn't really understand why half of the time although i explain in simple words to him so he will either say sorry or offer a kiss/hug to whoever it was

DS3 is only 13 months so a little young yet although he pinches/bites occasionally and i still encourage him to hug and to be gentle

ahundredtimes · 28/06/2007 18:25

No I don't, otherwise it all becomes about the saying sorry, and the 'come on, I can't hear you. Don't say it like that, say properly, like you mean it'. Is ridiculous charade parents go through I think.
I don't much care whether they're sorry or not to be honest. I just say 'This is why I'm cross. This is what you did wrong. Dont do it again' and actually because I've never made them do the mumbling 'sorry' thing, they tend to nod furiously and say 'okay, sorry. yeah. Sure, uhuh' - they're hyper literate my dcs.

sparklesandwine · 28/06/2007 18:26

tbh i've only just read the article from the OP and well its not exactly rocket science is it more common sense that i'm sure most of us use anyway

ahundredtimes · 28/06/2007 18:26

articulate, I mean, hyper articulate, because we're not writing notes saying 'uhuh' to each other, obviously.

Denmark · 28/06/2007 18:38

My DD 3 years old and my DS 2 year, are asked to say say sorry if they done something wrong, if they hit eachother they will say sorry and a kiss and a hug. But before they say sorry I will sit down with them and asked them "why should You say sorry to DD, DS ...... And they will say fx. because I hit DS or, took a toy, throw a toy etc. It is very important to us that they now what they have done wrong otherwise there is no point in saying sorry.

Quattrocento · 28/06/2007 18:41

I have learned a lot from this thread.

ahundredtimes · 28/06/2007 18:55

Do you need to say sorry Quatt? Do you?

Quattrocento · 28/06/2007 18:56

Soorreee

ahundredtimes · 28/06/2007 18:58

No, not like that. Like you mean it and take that look off your face. Now say it properly, like you mean it.

Quattrocento · 28/06/2007 19:00

SORRY!

ahundredtimes · 28/06/2007 19:02

Right, thank you young lady. Now I don't want anymore of that behaviour again. Do you understand? Now shall we have a hug and make up, hmm?

Quattrocento · 28/06/2007 19:03

I'll hug you but I'm not hugging HER. She started it!

TheWiltedRose · 28/06/2007 19:03

hehe my ds1 hangs in head and trembles his bottom lip and sez..

"so so shorry"

are you?

"yup im so shorry"

ok then

"ooook"

give me kisses then

"no...shorry"

ahundredtimes · 28/06/2007 19:04

That's is ENOUGH of that. Right, now what were we doing?

Quattrocento · 28/06/2007 19:05

You were attacking the dog with a hatchet and I was trying to stop you.

Quattrocento · 28/06/2007 19:08

at wilted - recognise that all right

TheWiltedRose · 28/06/2007 19:10

now everytime i say "i love you" he says "so shorry" trying to figure that one out still!

MadamePlatypus · 28/06/2007 19:21

I find it difficult not to ask DS to say sorry - after all I must say sorry to people at least 10 times a day - saying sorry is just what you do IMO if you are a Brit. I also hope that by saying sorry he will begin to learn that his actions have an effect on other people.

However, I agree that its difficult to know how much he understands about being sorry, and that an insincere sorry can be worse than none at all - oh I don't know!

TheArmadillo · 28/06/2007 19:22

ds (2.8) refuses to say sorry. It turns into a huge standoff thing lasting for hours if no one gives in

It was turning into a big problem. So now he hugs the person (sometimes) but mostly we make sure he knows he has done wrong and that there are consequences to that and not to do it again.

It drives me up the wall - how hard is it to say

I'm sure he'll start saying it when he's older. Sometimes he does say it randomly to himself e.g. when we're in the car. HE's a strange child

TheWiltedRose · 28/06/2007 19:24

madame u think thats strange? my ds1 said sorry to tigger the other day for stepping on his tail when he lost his balance....tigger is a teddy bear!!