Lack of return playdates - what would you do?

[Boleyn]

Hi - my 7 year old son only has a few friends at school. I have invited these children for play dates many times. I have invited other children as well.

The problem is that the returns are not forthcoming. One child (or her mum) never invites him though she does invite other children. The other does invite him. I have just heard from my son that this girls Mum has told her he cannot be invited to some event because he was mean to another child. I am not sure when this can have been because he never mixes with this other child. The only time would have been at her party a year ago.

There are plenty of times when I have invited a new child and they never return the favour.

Would you ask the Mum about this being mean incident? Or why it seems this girl believes her Mum does not want my son to be invited.

If there is a problem with him and friends - which leads to lack of playdates - should I try and find out or leave well alone? I think there is no smoke without fire. It happens too frequently.

Either way how can I help my son develop and value friendship?

Could you ask his class teacher about relationships in school? Maybe they might be able to shed some light on who he interacts best with.

I would ask the mum - say you can see there is a problem and it would help if she could tell you what it is - because whenever you are around they all seem to get on fine. Say you would like to sort things out but have no idea where to start because you don't know what the problem is.

I think if the other dm's had serious reservations about your ds and how he interacts with their dc, they would not allow their dc to go to playdates at your house.

Is he perhaps a bit tempestuous? They may feel they couldn't cope with him in their home? Is that a possibility?