Bullying behaviour from a child...

[Tinytoto]

Hi,

We have family friends whom we meet twice a year and one of those meetings occurs by them coming over and staying with us as we live quite far away from them.
One of their child who is gifted always manages to make my child feel inferior and tries to get him into trouble. His parents obviously thinks he is the best and do not seem to side by his sister who is of average intelligence. Both kids have managed to really upset both of my children with unkind comments of not being smart to the point of tears. I couldn’t approach the subject with the parents as I didn’t know how to and I cannot get over it. I feel like I haven’t stood up for my kids and it’s really upsetting me. How do I approach this?

They have also managed to abuse and disrespect our living space and not picked up after themselves or tell their kids to. We are disappointed in these set of friends and have come to the point of not entertaining them again.

Any feedback would be helpful.

TIA.

"I couldn’t approach the subject with the parents as I didn’t know how to and I cannot get over it. I feel like I haven’t stood up for my kids and it’s really upsetting me. How do I approach this?"

I think I would need to tell them. Has the bullying behaviour been an ongoing problem? Or is it new?

What exactly was the 'not picking up after themselves-? Not taking cups to the kitchen or leaving clothes on the floor or worse?

To be honest the picking up could be addressed when they are around, e.g. 'Please, could you help with XYZ' etc.

But the bullying behaviour in my mind should not wait.

I would tackle two ways...

Firstly tell the parents, their kids have upset your kids, could they please make sure this doesn't happen again.

Secondly, talk to your kids, if someone is making them unhappy or uncomfortable they can walk away, challenge the views "that's your opinion", or tell you etc.

Bullying behaviour is not ok but nasty behaviour in your own home by people who are meant to be friends is not really not on.

You haven't stood up for your kids. You know that and you are cross with yourself and rightly so. I wouldn't have them back, ring your "friends" and tell them exactly why they won't be invited back ands then tell your children that what happened was unacceptable and that you have had a talk with the parents about their kids behaviour and they won't be back. You'll feel better once it's done.

Yes I think you are both right.

I am more upset that I didn’t deal with it straight away and Innow realise I was quite shocked...now I have learnt from it I guess!

I have spoken to the kids about it and explained it is definitely unacceptable.