7 year old behaviour issues-clothing sensory issues

[justbrowsing]

Hi, am at my wits end after this Christmas break. My nearly 7 year old daughter seems to have sensory issues with clothing, socks, leggings, cardigans, bike helmet.... You name it and she probably finds it uncomfortable. I don't think she has a sensory issue as such but her anxiety and changes in routine etc seem to throw her off and then it will take an hour to get dressed /leave the house etc. I just don't know how to get through to her. If we are kind and gentle she plays on it and strings it out forever til we really need her to get dressed and then we just drag her out the house in whatever she's managed to put on. Tempers are frayed and she ends up hitting us, screaming at us etc. I really don't like her much at the moment because we are spending an hour or two every day pandering to this behaviour. This may seem horrible but it's really dragging me down. You need to have all the patience in the world to deal with her and my tank is empty.
In addition, asking her to do the simplest task once she has become absorbed in TV sets everything off again.
Just asking for any advice, experience or guidance. Anyone else in the same boat??

You are not alone, my daughter used to be like that. Clothes and shoe shopping with her always ended in tears too (for both of us). I ended up giving her full control of what she wears. This meant she often looked mismatched, wore the same clothes again and again and just generally was not a well dressed child. She started getting better with clothes from about the age of 9. Still can be sensitive to clothes textures, labels etc but loads better than when she was younger.

Thanks for replying. Good to know, I'm not alone. Have you read any good books to help? ... Feel like I am becoming a very angry parent which is really not helping. I just get so frustrated! She pretty much chooses what she wears and that is pretty much, a couple of pairs of leggings, a t shirt and one cardigan. She's worn them every day this holiday. Equally once she has socks on, she sleeps in them and wears them for as many days as I will allow (gross, I know). I'm not sure if it's really the clothes that is her issue or whether she uses that to express her stress. She is much better in routine ie during term time, but it's been pretty bad since September when they mixed the classes at school and I think it's unsettled her. Although, school say she is absolutely fine at school and they should never have known that she frequently cries all the way to school, often without a coat and cardigan as it's too uncomfortable even when it's raining and freezing. She is currently seeing the ELSA lady at school but I am not sure that is helping yet.

No I haven't read any books about it. You have given me food for thought actually-it could be stress/anxiety related, I had never looked at it that way. If she wants to wear the same things I'd let her. Even if you're sick of seeing her in the same clothes (try to think positively, you're saving money on clothes). My DD still only wears mainly leggings and would not even consider things like jeans. But as she's started shopping with her friends she wears different tops etc at least now.

Don't be hard on yourself, yes you're angry but that's your frustration as you want the best for your child and it's upsetting when something isn't quite right.

I think you could be onto something with the anxiety thing as my DD gets anxious when things don't go her way exactly and she is generally emotionally very sensitive.

Hopefully the support at school will help her. It might not seem like it's helping yet but sometimes it can take you by surprise and all of a sudden get better

@justbrowsing I have just googled this and found your thread. You could literally be talking about my 5 year old. It's getting to the point where it's making the whole family miserable and I don't know how to help her.

She is very sensitive overall and was a tricky/high needs baby and is still prone to tantrums, particularly about clothes. I don't think she does it at school so they've not flagged up a problem.

Have you considered the GP? I'm getting to that stage now although I'm reluctant as I don't want her to be labeled