Tantrums and bititng

[madame]

help....my dd 22 months has just started to have tantrums I think. She is becoming more and more difficult to do things like change her nappie, go in the bath, put shoes on that sort of thing. Yesterday in the car she trew a real hissy fit because i told her all the baby crisps were gone! Sreaming and crying....It lasted about 5 mins and then she calmed down. I have also noticed that when she cant do something she now gets very frustrated and starts to bite things like the doll that she is playing with or anything thats close by. What should I be doing about this? I know that this is a development stage but its so worrying when it comes around.
Any words of wisdom or support please.

I am currently experiencing the exact same thin g with my 20 month dd! I think at this age they're really becoming independent little people but they're just not able to handle their emotions and they get really frustrated. If my dd starts biting I say "no biting" in my best firm Supernanny voice, but then I just ignore the tantrum and let her just calm herself down on her own, usually it takes about 5 mins and then she's happy again. I find if I start getting cross with her, or even if I try to comfort her, it just winds her up even more! I guess the main thing to remember when she's in the middle of a tantrum is keep cool, don't let it get to you, and remember you're the adult, so if she's complaining about something which has to be done, like getting in the bath etc, just get on and do it without being draawn into an argument....difficult though I know!

hi rony

this is the thing, do you just go ahead and get her dressed, or go in the bath etc? I feel like I am making her do things she doesn't want to do and over powering her. But they of course just have to be done. Is it the best thing to just ignore the tantrum and leave them to scream it out do you think?

Madame This is all completely normal behaviour when they start to hit the terrible twos. Ds (now 3.4) had his first tantrum at 11 months and by 22 months was going into full on rages where I would have to put him in his cot to calm down. Dd's thankfully are a lot milder. This is where you have to start to establishing some boundaries. If you have to do something she doesn't like then do it and ignore the tantrum (walk out of the room if necessary) if she does something really bad (like biting or hitting you) then time out in the corner or whereever with an explanation of why she is there. Go away, come back, ask her to say sorry then a cuddle and carry on as normal without harping on about what she did .....repeat as necessary. Pick your battles, sometimes bribery is allowed! and give a 5 minute warning if you are about to stop doing something she likes or are about to do something she doesn't like. Good luck!

I find with ds (just 2) that I can't 'make' him do anything when he is having a tantrum. He is so strong and feisty and determined that trying to bath him for example is impossible. I ignore tantrums almost all the time, unless dangerous.

He is much happier if he makes the decision himself, so at bedtime I will turn off TV and go upstairs and make a big fuss about getting his doll undressed etc. That usually gets him moving in the right direction. With nappies, I've found that changing a teddy or doll first encourages him to lie down too. With shoes,clothes etc - teach them how to do it (even if you have to help). Ds is VERRRY proud of his new shoe removing skills and likes to help putting them on. Give limited choices, be creative and jolly and pour yourself an enormous glass of wine at the end of the day.

Thank you all, i kind of really knew it was all natural but didn't realise how exhausting these tantrums were going to be. I think its the leaving them alone while they are doing them thats the tough one because I am so used to comforting her, but she is going to be naughty if I give in and I can see that.

Having all theses tantrums...does it mean they are unhappy about something. All the books say there must be a reason, tired, hungry, not stimulated etc. I cant help feeling a bit of a failiure half the time unless I am giving her 100% attention which I of course cant do all the time. This morning she sreamed the whole time I was in the shower, it was horribe. She used to be so content and she just seems annoyed so quickly at the moment.