how do you cope with giggling, nudging, being ignored, in response to a telling off?

[hatwoman]

just had the bed-time from hell. started off badly (my fault) because I was doing something on the computer which triggered them mucking about and giggling and throwing cushions at each other and me repeatedly asking/telling them to stop. but once they've crossed a giggling threshold they really don't seem able to stop until I take armegeddon type action. sitting on the step (seperately) didn't work, being told no bed-time story didn;t work. eventually I said I was going to go into their bedroom and start taking toys out of it and I wouldn't stop until they were ready for bed. finally that was a big enough bombshell to shake them out of it - tears and protests - along with some pretty damn rapid toothbrushing - ensued and now, eventually, relative calm has returned. but I hate hate hate it. I get a form of rage and I know I'm over the edge. But it really is like nothing short of an atom bomb can get them out of it. It's like all 3 of us are trapped in some horrific chain reaction that can't stop other than by exploding. I know I shouldn't have been on the computer and i should avoid the trigger in the first place - but any other advice?

I know how you feel and my sympathies are with you. I do think they thrive on winding mummy up. I had a similar evening whilst doing my keep fit video which is their excuse for messing up every room in the house and not tidying it all up and mucking about. I found the only thing that works with my kids (2 & 4) is to send them on a guilt trip and say that mummy will tidy up and get a treat and as soon as I start then they do too. The more annoyed I get, the more they misbehave. I also got to the point where I said that if they make a deliberate mess again, then all the toys that are left on the floor and not cleared away will be put into a black bag and given to children who will appreciate them more. (I am so mean!) It is so hard to keep your cool and also so hard to get things done - roll on the joys of tomorrow - hope you have a better day!

czn - agree wtih black bag approach. I've done this a few times in recent months and they are all out in the garage!! Poor ds1 though - he's 6 and the mess is usually not his fault and then he's the only one trying frantically to put stuff away while crying. THe other two (4 and 2) are not 'bovvered'!

The only way to get round bedtime chaos in this house is to stagger it. Takes longer but works much better. If ds3 (2) isn't for staying in his room, i sit outside the door with a book. He soon gives up.

I know how you feel hatwoman - you can't turn your attention away for 5 minutes without paying the price - toys everywhre, cushions off sofa, raiding the fridge (ds3!). In fact, have put lock on kitchen door now so if I go upstairs they can't go in there. Black bag thing works with the toys.

I can have the same problem with my three, drives me mad - when they are in that sort of mood, the more I tell them off or try to lay down the law the more they giggle and muck about. I feel like exploding with rage by the end of it. This isn't a common event though. I have decided the only way to deal with it is to walk away for a few minutes, though it goes against the grain, in order to calm myself down and break the spiral of emotion on both sides. I do also do the taking toys away in plastic bag in response to a refusal to tidy, but doesn't always work as they don't always care. Mine don't like a TV ban and that does sometimes work.

Oh yes, I've unplugged the tv on more than one occasion! Mind you, they don't get that stressed about that either as they don't really watch that much of it. It only works if they are deeply engrossed in Dora (mainly ds3) - he'll flip his lid if I switch that off!

Yep, the black bag thing definately works in my house and as ds (7) is into football cards etc I do find myself confiscating them too. I just walk away now when they get the giggles - I find it wears them out that much more, or have you tried giggling with them - that works a treat and then you find yourself relaxing too.

I think giggling with them is probably really good advice. Might have defused the situation a little bit perhaps, if only because of the surprise element - you could have had a bit of rough and tumble with the cushions with them.......

another tack you could try is to look up something really bizarre on the computer, if you're on it anyway, then get them diverted away from their mishceif that way "oh my god come and look at this picture of a snake swallowing a boat" or something equally bizarre. Just type the maddest thing you can think of into google!

I realise this may sound bizarre but you've described so well how you all 'lock horns' and are unable to break the cycle without loads of stress for all of you, and I think where you can you should try to get around them, rather than attempting to make them 'snap out of' the mood, because you've shown clearly in your post that it doesn't work!

Obviously if they're being really destructive or violent then I guess the sanctions have to come. Bin bags for toys are certainly seeming a popular idea!

thanks all. HG - yes you're right getting them to "snap out of it" doesn't work. you've given me stuff to think about - thanks

I separate mine out, if I can - bedrooms, porch!, wherever.

When they are in that silly mood though, there is little short of the Wrath of Mum that makes a difference. I do have a bit of a tendency to put on my scarey teacher voice though.

The giggling gets to me every time though!