What do you do about a child that resists trying anything new?

[Didactylos]

Way too long, sorry!

DS is 10, neurotypical, pretty academic, reasonably well behaved, good communication skills though needs to work a bit on manners and empathy. So, pretty normal 10 year old. Hes gone through a big change lately (moving countries) and seems to be adjusting to this reasonably well, new school in English and second language, has found sports clubs, friends here.

but Im struggling a bit at the moment because he is really resistant to new experiences and will absolutely refuse to try anything suggested or offered to him. Hes always been a bit of a watcher from the sidelines with any new activity - he'll stand back, think about things and then join in when he feels comfortable (and we have tried to support this strategy over the years by making sure hes prepared for things like a new environment or class, has a chance to ask questions, or look around with us before joining a new environment.

But he really struggles with going out of his comfort zone. Im not trying to make him do anything terribly awful, like skydiving or public speaking: Im not trying to mold him into the child who acts in every play or pushes to the front in anything, but I am starting to worry about his confidence and social skills

Examples - He was invited to a swimming party and was completely adamant he was not going. Not that he was scared of swimming or didn't know the friends, no particular expressed anxiety or worries but just refusal. Unusally we insisted on him at least walking along and going to the party bit (with his swim gear) and when he got there of course he joined in went swimming and had a great time (and now wants a pool party)
Same thing with an afterschool craft class: persuaded him to give it a go as I could see how it fitted in with his ideas and interests: now hes utterly enthused about the concept, but left to his own devices would have not bothered trying.

This week he has been given the chance to try a sweet making workshop at school (something we have talked about and watched videos on before) as well as canoeing at the local sportscentre and some other sports lessons: and again he is completely refusing to contemplate trying even one new thing.
I dont want to be the parent chasing and driving a child around an endless list of enrichment activities and micromanaging his days, he doesnt get pressured to be competitive at sport, and he gets lots of downtime to relax and be creative but it seems an utter waste for a 10 year old to not want to try even one new opportunity.

Anyone got any tips about how to encourage a child who resists trying anything new?

Both of mine can be like this. I usually apply plenty if patience and remind them of the other times they’ve not wanted to do things and have enjoyed doing them..

Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t

Show him that “success” isn’t necessarily dependent on outcomes.Success can mean a willingness to try, put forth your best effort, and show gradual improvement.
When he does take a risk, point out that you’re proud of his bravery, and he’ll be even more willing to try something new in the future.
Ask questions such as "Have you always been able to do this? How did you learn to do this? How did you get better at this skill?” This reinforces the point that none of his abilities have been acquired overnight, and it may give him the courage and motivation to try something new.
Help him shift his perspective by keeping an adventure diary. In the diary, he can write about all the adventures had as a result of trying new things.

Thanks for the replies and advice Jilted and Rice, glad to know its not just us with the issue! I try to be really careful with praise, praise behaviour and effort rather than results/success, but he can be a bit of a perfectionist about some things and doesnt like to lose eg if we play games, but I like your questions to promote self reflection about his abilities. Will try the adventure diary idea, he might like that.

I have one too!
He's a funny one. There can be something I know he'll love and he won't entertain the idea for a moment.
Dd1 has some aspects that are similar, but will push herself for something she thinks she'll like, but it'll take time to settle. Dd2 is the more, the newer the better.
DD1 and ds are perfectionists and do not like being wrong.

What I do with ds is:

Don't allow him to back out. If he's said he'll do it, without good reason, he goes.
Suggest a treat for afterwards if he goes. Often something like a hot chocolate when back is enough.
Don't let him just refuse everything-he has a choice between a or b.
If he does refuse to do something, then let him-but don't offer fun alternatives.

We had a point that he'd stopped doing anything outside school due to being ill for a term. He refused to go back to anything he'd done before and all he wanted to do was stay inside and play on the computer.

So the next September I gave him a set of different things and told him he could choose one, didn't mind which one, but he was doing one.

After much moaning and groaning and cries of "mean mum", he chose 1hr of drama.
We had a term and a half of "oh no. Do I have to?" to which I said no, but if he stopped he had to choose something else.
Then one day he skipped out and said "can I do the Saturday class as well?". He now does 5 hours a week and would do more if he could. In fact he's telling me he's really missing it since they broke up for Christmas.