DS is turning 4 in a couple of months, but for the past 4-6 months his behaviour at mealtimes has become awful sometimes. He is a very fussy eater and basically has very little interest in food which doesn't help (under a dietician, on waiting list for Occupational Therapy to rule out a sensory issue with food).
He will pick up food off his plate and throw it on the table or my plate, a few times has thrown his cup once he's finished drinking, will take his cutlery and wave it around and poke it in my face, take salt/pepper and try and put it on my food even when told repeatedly no, sometimes will deliberately hold the spoon handle by the tip so that keeping the food on the spoon is not easy and it falls off everywhere, somehow manages to get food all over himself and the floor without even trying, will walk up to the table and look at the food and say 'I don't like it' and refuses to sit down for the meal, touches my food etc. He is quite good at sitting at the table once he is there and does not get down without asking, but that's about the only good point.
He is just awful and embarrassing. Due to his Dad's working hours during the week it is only us who eat breakfast and dinner together, and he eats lunch at nursery (no poor behaviour at lunch there). We have stopped going out to restaurants, and even cafes we are starting to stop taking him to (will sometimes take a mouthful of a drink and then let the liquid dribble out of his mouth and down his clothes - he thinks he's funny).
The Dietician said to start a Reward chart, which I have 5 days ago and he is yet to get one star. I have explained countless times what I mean by behaving well at mealtimes but it seems he doesn't care and he certainly isn't interested in choosing a small toy after gaining 5 stars.
Does anyone have any ideas for stopping this behaviour please? I am mortified as I was brought up with fairly strict table manners and my child sometimes acts like a pig at the trough 