Concerned my daughter is showing signs for asd or similar

[Marblemum]

First post! And it’s a long one!!
So my background is children with special needs and I’m unsure if this is a good thing or I’m reading too much into things as a result of this.
My middle child is 2.9months and has always been different. She’s highly sensitive to her surroundings and has been since birth. Huge colic sufferer and an all together fussy high needs baby. She was a very early developer crawling at just 5 months and walking at 10.. her food habits have been bad from when she started weaning to now... when she was 6 months she would gag at puréed food and projectile vomit as soon as it went in her mouth, I put it down to a sensitive palette but even now her eating habbirs are awful. She will eat fruit and cheese and that’s pretty much it. (Tantrums for sweets a lot!)
Sensory abnormalities also have been obvious for a while now, she will gag at certain textures for example the wet cat food would make her throw up.
She has an amazing vocabulary and is so so advanced mentally. Her memory is quite amazing! But she can not follow instructions and is always in her own world.
When out she will just run.. no concept of danger at all despite me talking to her about these things... she just seems to get lost in the moment.
She struggles to keep my eye contact.. she has also never had a dummy but 5 months ago decided to try her baby brothers.. she has formed an unhealthy attachment to it and genuinely needs it all the time (not an attention thing as I first put it down to) she will not go to sleep without it despite never having had one. She needs to be playing with blue tack constantly and will have a melt down if she hasn’t got any to play with.
She is extremely intense and hard work and I just feel at a loss for what to do. I’ve bought my concerns up with the hv but she just sais she’s just a busy child. I know busy kids and this is more than that.. really need some advice/support of what to do as I’m at a complete loss and I’m really struggling to keep it together at the moment 😩
Thanks for hanging in there and reading this!

I'd personally speak to a GP and ask for a referral, or see if you can self refer in your area. Better to get her seen and checked now than leaving it just in case you're reading too much into it because girls can go undetected for so long with ASD.

I'm currently in the middle of an ASD diagnosis. I'm pretty sure my DF wishes I'd had it done years ago. Would have saved a heck of a lot of time wondering why I acted oddly.

Not an expert OP but all sounds fairly normal to me. I agree with OP though, if you are worried I would get her assessed.

I just wonder if she seems more hard work than the kids you are used to working with because you are her mum?? Just something I've heard teachers / nursery workers etc say. Kids always seem to be more difficult for mum and dad than anyone else!

Good luck op. I'm sure she'll be fine.

Thanks for replying.. very appreciated! I think gp is my best route xx

I mention it all the time on these threads, but if she is gagging when eating and tantrumming a lot then I would check her tonsils are not too large, obvious signs are sleep apnea or loud snoring, but it doesn't have to occur throughout the night, it could just occur dependent on what position she is lying in.

My ds is very similar, especially with not following instructions, doesn't seem to understand what I say, he's listening but just not taking it in. He has to run constantly never walks and massive tantrums if you stop him. He has been under the paeds for over a year now and SALT due to delay on development, however they are now looking at ASD and he's being referred to a different paed who specialises in that. I would deffo speak to your HV again or GP and ask for referral. My Ds is 2.6 months , also just had his tonsils out last month as used to gag a lot

I think you have valid concerns and should request a referral to a development peadatrician, I see red flags in your description. One of the strongest tell tell signs of ASD is deficits in gestures by 18 months. Did she point to share interests (so not to label or requests things) and show/give you interesting things (again not to ask for help but just to show you) by 18 months? not sharing interests by pointing and showing/giving by 18 months or very soon after is nearly always indicative of ASD. A recent study suggested that this was the case in over 90% of all reported examples.