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Socially unconfident 8yo

2 replies

TwinkleToes101 · 13/12/2018 19:58

My 7 nearly 8yo DD is a socially underconfident child. When her friend is at school she will play with others but the default when she is not there is to play alone. She shows no signs of stress or unhappiness or anxiety. She likes making her own games up, totally content. She's known these kids for years; it's a small class with very nice characters. I've tried drawing her out about it but she found it hard to articulate why. Finally she admitted that she is too afraid to break into groups and join their game.
What can I do at home to encourage more outgoing behaviour? Is 8 too young to worry that much?
For background info, I am also introverted and find it hard to socialise, and I was worse as a child, of course. But I do remember opening up more by her age. The thing it DD has always been like this and shows very little improvement as the years go by. Any tips or advice would be very much appreciated.

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MumUnderTheMoon · 13/12/2018 20:40

You call your child content and say she is showing no signs of unhappiness or anxiety. If she is all of these things then you shouldn't worry. Some people are just a bit more solitary being alone doesn't mean your lonely. If she isn't upset about it then don't do anything seeing you worry might make her think something is wrong and there isn't. If it does upset her then perhaps you could approach the school explain your concerns and see if there is anything she could do in school to give her a confidence boost eg In my daughters school the older children spend some time with the younger kids helping them in their classroom it really encourages a feeling of confidence in the older kids

TwinkleToes101 · 14/12/2018 08:56

Thanks for the reply. I am aware I am applying my expectations to DD and should just relax. But. But. Social skills are important for all of us. At some point DD will be a new situation having to make friends afresh and her skills are very limited. How happy will she be at that point? Should I not give her encouragement and support to reach out of her world and be more responsive and interactive with other children? I like your idea about younger children. Would brownies give her the opportunity to do that of thing?

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