Toddlers - what do you give time-outs for ?

[BigBird]

DD is 3 in Dec and has recently begun to really show her independance I think. Often, anything we suggest doing like getting dressed, changing nappy, etc is met with a big firm NO WAY and she runs in the opposite direction. She has also recently started to slap/hit/kick us and get very cross with us and throw things about / at us.

Last week she had about 5 or 6 timeouts in one morning alone. I don't want to use this method too often so I'm wondering what others give time-outs for? The reasons we did were:
not co-operating having been asked 3/4 times
cross mood/shouting at us
slapping/kicking/hitting
throwing things in temper

Any other things that you do to stop a child mid-strop ? Also - sometimes she seems to like her time-outs in her room and just chats/plays with toys !

forgot to mention the biggie - running away from me out on the street when I stress how important it is she stay by my side!

My DD is 2y 4m. We do time outs for persistant misdemeanours - give 2 or 3 warnings first. If not co-operating, then we do time out for a couple of minutes. I never use it as a first sanction.

DS is very young yet so no very creative in mischief. He gets time outs for hitting us or the dogs. But we have also noticed that he finds the naughty step so amusing that you only mention the words and he goes and sits himself on it even if you were talking of other things...

I guess the idea of time out is that the place has to be a bad alternative to what she is doing so if she finds toys at her time-out space she may not mind about being sent to her room...

Oh yes!!!, 2 warnings before being sent to the step.

Hi

Have you heard of the book "Toddler Taming" by Dr Christopher Green? I used it and thought it was quiet helpful. Just a thought......

I have recently been to a behavior specialist about my ds.(now almost 4) I was told that a good solution is to set some rules, like we dont hit, No shouting etc. I drew stick men pictures of these senarios and stuck them on the wall. If ds broke a rule then I had to take something away from him. It doesn't have to be a big thing but it will devastate them. (I took away cbeebies) Then explain why they have lost this thing.
When it comes to a situation wher you have tried this and they still ignore what your asking then tell them your going to count back from 5, and when you get to 1 you'll.... Put them on the time out step or whatever. The longer you explain the more chance they will listen. This has been tried and tested by myself and it works.

As for the running away in the street, i sympathise with you as my ds also did this. I tackled this in a very similar way. I bought a wrist strap and did the count back from5 thing. When i get to 1 the strap will go on. No child likes to be strapped to mummy so eventually this will work too.

All these thing do not work the first few times you use them but if you continue to use thm consistantly then you will see a difference. Sorry if all this seema harsh it's just my ds's behavior became a bit uncontrollable and so i needed to use these methods. Sorry if i've gone on a bit. Hth and good luck

Oh sorry just seen that she's not quite 3 Hope i helped in some way though. sorry

I'm interested in knowing where your time-out is. My DD who is nearly 2 has started doing the normal toddler things, but in the last couple of days she stomps of to her bedroom when she doesn't gets her own way (quite funny) but now if we do time out in her bedroom it holds no bearing because she's started going before I've even told her to! (and it's not because she's been sent there too often, only twice!) Other then that we live in a maisonette so I have stairs but they only lead to the front door & we have a stairgate on. My bedroom would be a novlety I've been racking my brains on what to do. Where do your kids have time out?

I think that sending a child to time out in a lovely room full of nice toys is not really a punishment. I would send her either so a step or a boring room or even a corner of the room.

I ask ds once to something, if ignored I ask again more firmly and then if still ignored it is timeout. You have to decide what battles to fight, otherwise you will drive yourself potty. I think that most of the things you have said would warrent punishment.
Also I would explain what is the right behaviour as well she she can correct herself. my dh sometimes tells my ds off but without teaching him the correct behavoiur. For instance - chucking a toy. I will pick up the toy and say "dont chuck the toy. look at mummy give you the toy nicely. you do that" and when he does I praise him. I hope that this makes sense!!

I have just remembered. I love Dr Phil he is my guru!! He has usful stuff on his website re. discipline and parenting.
here

thanks to all. OK - I will think of a more boring place to put her for time-outs and will possibly try to emphasise a few 'rules'. jnbsmum there are a few good tips there that I will try also. Thanks.

jasmum - our time out is normally sat on her little pink chair in the hall way - don't have stairs here. DD will also stomp off to her room to sulk on her bed too at times. Either way it gives her time out to calm down.

I didn't think that T O was a punishment - it's a time for child (and possibly parent) to calm down. If the child knows when to go to their room when they are losing the plot surely that's good?