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10yr old so nasty to me

2 replies

Mykidsmyworld579 · 02/12/2018 10:40

My 10yr old dd has always been the hardest one out of my 4 children, she is the oldest.
All of them can be challenging at times, but mostly its that.....they have their monents and then its gone again.
But with her its all the time.
Theirs an argument and an issue nearly everyday.
You cant ask her to do anything, she will have a full blown screaming fit if i ask her to take her cup to the kitchen!
Shes had alot of problems with friendships aswell.
Which is my main concern.
Some of her friends i haven't really warmed to, their were a few issues with peer pressure and name calling amongst them.
My dd frequently came home from school crying and upset,
I tried like every mother to help her.
Infact i lost sleep over it and developed a high anxiety.
I sat with her many times and told her what i thought of these children, contacted the school etc, went down all the right channels.
But frustratingly she kept playing wirh them,
Casually saying dont worry no more mum were friends now!!!!
I felt like id been kicked in the face.
Constantly up worrying, shes taken all my time with this, time i could of been with her siblings.
Ive told her what i think of these kids and their parents and shes gone and told the kids and their parents what i think of them.
Im getting hassle from them now and alot of dirty looks up at the school.
Infact through listening in on conversations in the playground,
It looks like my dd tells teachers, friends, parents everyrhing single thing that i say,
Turns out now im not very popular.
My other kids dont do this.
My language is not abusive, and i honsetly didnt realise what i was doing wrong.
I thought i was helping my dd.
If she came home crying because her teacher told her off for nothing ( apparantly)
I would innocently say something to cheer her up which could of not left the teacher in a good light,
Never did i think she was going to school the next day telling her teacher my mum said this about you....the teachers dont like me! But they love her.
All the nights ive spent comforting her over her friends, all the times ive said i dont like them, and told her to try and make new ones,
Told her i will support her 100%
And shes gone and told them all that my mum dont like you,
Their parents know!!
And she is still friends with them, she loves them.
Their the best thing ever.
Im devestated.
I dont know what to do.
I cant talk to her about it, as she will go straight out repeating to everyone what i say.
Im walking on egg shells.
For the last few weeks ive not spoken to her at all, i dont want her near me as shes really hurt me.
Im afraid to speak in my own home, as she tells everyone everything i say and do.
I get filthy looks in the street.
But i keep ignoring her and i know im pushing her further away,
If i talk to her she will use it against me.
Ive spoken to her at great length about private conversations and how somethings you dont repeat but she does regardless.
Im so sad, i really dont like the girl she is.
Any advice please

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
sevens7 · 02/12/2018 19:15

Wow, where does anyone start.
Build yourself up first, develop and love yourself first.
Be happy in yourself first.
Laugh, smile, joke, be a twit, play.
Love everyone, bad people as well.
look for the good in everything.
Some children need more love, (not blind love/no rules)
Remember rules without relationship equals rebellion.
Say good things about everyone, then she'll tell them that.

Stay calm, be in control.
Tell your daughter you love her.
Hope some of this helps.

sevens7 · 02/12/2018 19:30

Oh and finally, if you don't love you can't discipline.
I helped in a state school nursery for two years.
MALE/56 YEARS OLD/GRANDAD/VOLUNTEER

Teachers seemed to shout, scream, belittle, humiliate.
I didn't have the kind of responsibility that teachers have.
A nursery teacher said, "would you play with them."

I played, laughed, smiled, joked, was a twit, i had so much fun etc.
What I noticed was when I frowned it immediately had an effect, it's like it said 10 times more, it's as if they were feeding off my happiness and was reassured by it. They immediately started behaving well again because they wanted to make me happy again.

So try and be happy with her......

good luck

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