would you tell another child ?

[Dawny111]

hi just wondering what other peoples views are please on telling other children not to do stuff when at a group. recently took my grandaughter to a group, she apparantly took a toy off another child, the mum then asked her for it back and said we dont snatch toys from other children, i know she was correct but i cant help feeling a little upset by it, i know i would say something if my grandaughter did it but i wouldnt have put it quite like that to another child .... im being too sensitive ? thanks

I take it that it’s a young child? Pre-school? Then absolutely not, it’s up to the parents to deal with it. If an older child nastily took something off my son I may comment that it wasn’t “nice sharing” but even then I wouldn’t directly reprimand them (there may be other LD issues etc going on and not my place).

Besides young children are still learning the concept of ownership and sharing etc, so it’s often an issue of understanding not “being naughty”.

my grandaughter is 2 and half the other girl a bit younger its only our 2nd time there, i didnt actually see what happened, but heard the mum say that to my GD. not in a telling off manor, but i felt by her saying can we have it back please we dont snatch was a little off! i would have asked for it back and left it at that, i wouldnt have dared say that or maybe im too soft

Oh gosh no I totally agree with you! In fact I probably wouldn’t have even asked for it back and would have given my son something else to play with instead. At that age they play with something different every few minutes or so it seems anyway :)

Sounds perfect behaviour on the other parent's side. Really helpful for children to help them learn social skills. Just asking for it back doesn't help then learn why they were asked to give it back.
As you only say she "apparently" took a toy, then presumably you weren't close enough to say anything.

no i wasnt close enough to see, buy as i said earlier i dont thibk i would have said anything quite as harsh

I come from a very large family. It’s perfctly normal to talk to a child like this if the parents aren’t around to see.

Your GD took a toy, the other Mother seems to have dealt with the situation very sensibility.

I honestly can’t see why you are upset.

Instead of PFB are you being a bit PFGC?

Sounds like the other Mum dealt with it perfectly. Noted the issue so you were made aware and so you could issue the appropriate discipline to the child you were looking after.

When ds was little I was too chicken ever to do this. As the result he was the one always getting things taken off him, pushed over, not getting his turn. In retrospect I don't think that was very good for him: he didn't grow up very confident. I wish I had worried a little less about the other children and a little more about him.

I can't see anything wrong with what she said. When we were out and about and another child took something off mine I would always say can we have that back please cos my little girl was playing with that. After a couple of times saying it (at the worst end) they would give it back more often than not. You have to deal with what's happened as soon as it's happened

Perfectly reasonable of the other parent. I’d go further and say it’s a pity more people don’t occasionally step in and say something when they see poor behaviour- particularly as children get older.

You hadn’t seen it but she had. Much bette than allowing your grand daughter to think it was acceptable to,snatch from others.

I think it's totally fine and not harsh at all, provided it wasnt snarled at her or anything. If you want to be the one to deal with your granddaughter then you need to be right there next to her at all times.

I was always grateful when other people took the time to help correct my dc's behaviour as I didnt want to be stood over them every second (and w two that wasnt even possible).