How to encourage my 4.5 yr old ds to eat with a knife and fork!!!

[Jazzicatz]

Ds has just had a day at his new school and they commented on how he could not eat with a knife and fork. He is really fussy and food times are a nightmare, I have tried to overcome this by leaving him to eat on his own, which has resulted in him not being able to eat properly. What to do???

Anyone????

I'd tell them they are being too pushy. he won't be struggling to use a knife and fork at secondary school will he.

Oh forgot to add, as long as his food is cut up can't he use a spoon? or fingers/ Don't see the problem myself, as long as he can get the food in somehow?

Does it work if you all eat together?
Eventually he'll copy his friends as they'll think it's odd him not using cutlery I would have thought.
Wierd thing for a school to comment on though.

just practise at home

mine are very bad at knife and fork eating but their fine motor skills are poor.

He'll pick it up soon enough and he'll learn from the other children (and I guarantee you, he will not be the only one struggling with a knife and fork!).

TBH, school is where ds1 picked up how to use a knife and fork despite best efforts at home. Seeing other children eat with them is the very best form of peer pressure.

I wouldn't worry about it If he's fussy with food anyway, then I'd try and make everything as relaxed as possible - he'll get there in the end.

(I should mention that despite family meals every night with good examples and encouragement, ds1 is only now at age 6 consistently using a knife and fork and even then will ask for food to be cut up for him)

Thanks everyone, it is a prep school so I suppose they expect children to be able to do everyting!! Feel really sad, I know we have made a mistake sending him to a 'posh' school!!!

my ds is same age and we constantly have to remind him to use cutlery,always prefers to use his hands,fine with a spoon though.
I am hoping peer pressure will do the trick at school aswell.

Hi, our ds is 4.8 yrs and still uses a spoon at home because we cut everything up for him At school they are learning to use a knife & fork but only with really soft food so that they can get the hang of it. Most of the time though their class teacher cuts up the food and lets them just use a fork or gives them a spoon when they have rice. I do know though that our ds can do it at school but pretends he can´t at home and this probably comes from the fact that all his friends are doing it and he doesn´t want to be left out. Believe me your ds will do it as and when he wants too. Try not to worry too much about it

They are 4 - ffs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How dare they "comment" on something like that.
How about starting to eat together whenever you can? Then he will copy you and he'll soon learn. Make sure he's got a little knife and fork to start with - the grown up ones are too heavy and unbalanced for little hands. I would start by encouraging him to use a fork to stab things, then introduce a knife, making sure that the food is easy to cut - potatoes are good for this. He'll get there!

Thanks everyone.

My 4 yo does much better with his 'Power Rangers' cutlery, Woolies do a good line in character ranges if that helps.

I think by leaving him to eat on his own he hasn't learned from watching you .. can you start to eat with him .. just ignore any fussiness and demonstrate how you eat

I disagree with those who say he's only 4 .. he should be capable of using cutlery by now .. although not perfectly and with help and reminders ..

take him out and buy him some special cutlery

its not a big deal in the scheme of things .. but he has to learn eventually so you may as well start now

He has special cutlery, and whenever possible I try and get him to eat with me, but he just will not even try. Mealtimes are such a battlefeild as he usually hates at least one thing on his plate. It is just getting so dull!!

I don't really have anything else to suggest, sorry.

I have 3 5 and under, so its hard to get them to eat everything. I'll generally let them trade, so if for example they don't like brocolli, I'll say OK, leave it and eat your peas and carrots. My 5 yo can use cutlery well, but still uses his fingers if I don't remind him. my 4 yo can if he wants to. More often they use a fork and spoon, knives are trickier.

How about just encouraging fork and spoon use for now? Perhaps he can lay the table to encourage getting them the right way round?

I've also started to use the dessert cutlery from Ikea, (they do a knife, fork and spoon but slightly smaller). Perhaps that might help if you sell it to him about being a grown-up?

Sorry not much useful advice, just a few ideas from my experience. Hope it helps.