Sorry a bit lengthy. Didn't want to make a big fuss about this, but I felt awful this morning when he didn't want to go into the school with a pair of watery eyes.
At Monday pick-up, I got told seriously be the teacher (in front of DS) that they believe "he is the problem of the recent Play Fighting around infant playground." and they've heard complaints from other children and even one occasion from a parent. They talked with him last week but it happened again this Monday and they want us talk with him at home.
I knew for fact when it comes to physically play, he can be very rough and knows no boundary or personal space - sensory issue we've been doing therapy. So often he has to apologise and feels bad afterwards when he hurts me/DH. I don't intend to encourage him to carry on as it certainly would hurt others sometimes especially those who didn't want to get involved to begin with. One of his best friends also is a very physical person. So with his best friends, they tend to play rough quite a lot but most of the time they seem to enjoy it. After pick-up on Monday, his first words to me were "I don't know how NOT to play rough..."
Anyway I had the conversation with him the same evening. I talked with him very seriously about why and what to do. I tried my best not to hurt his feelings and give him the full picture that school needs to protect everyone and therefore play fighting is not allowed and he shall just learn to control himself, stay put for a while and play something else "less fun" to go through this. I also told him we will have to have some very serious punishment at home to "help" him remember it. In the following days, DS became a lot more sensitive and even a bit quieter without much of his normal bubbly self. At night, it took him very long time to fall asleep.
Today, I work from home so I took him to school myself. Yet, it turned out to be a huge emotional moment. He held onto me and didn't want to go inside the school. I rarely see him so emotional and he always looked forward to going to the school. In the end, his teacher came over and he admitted it's because he got told off for the rough play. The teacher then told him "he just need to be a good boy and don't play fighting again" and then took him inside.I left with eyes wet myself. I don't know how to help him to go through this phase to grow up without leaving a huge shadow behind. I don't think he would get proper emotional support from the school, as it appears to me "he is the problem" right now and "he just needs to be a good boy" by book.
Can anyone shed some light please? I feel helpless seeing him struggle but not knowing what to say/do... 