4yr Old (nearly 5) with possible behavioral problems?

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So my DS since starting pre-school has shown signs that he isn't developing normally or that there is an underlying problem.. the school have been apparently trying to refer him for assessments for over a year but keep getting put off. He is in reception now.

He has emotional outbursts (crying and shaking) - particularly with change in routine, holds his hands over his ears at noise, gets an idea into his head and can't be talked out of it, fidgets alot and becomes hyper active. Doesn't always hear when spoken to. Almost gets locked on to doing the same motion over and over (like swinging a toy for example). is having trouble with his cognitive development ( after MONTHS of tutoring he still can't write properly). And until recently he didn't seem to want to play with others.. only by himself.

The school had concerns so first i took him for a hearing test - which came back fine.
They then got me to sign a form for early years, which i did, but they never bothered to assess him because they said there wasn't enough time before the school year ended.
And this year his teacher approached me asking me to take him to the GP and explain from my side how his behavior is at home. To try and get a referral because all of a sudden according to the school i had to do it not them?

But when i got to the GP he informed me

1. it IS the school that makes the referral
2. That he is over the age of early years now but too young for CAMHS ?

I reported this back to the school and they just said ok we will try again.. :S

I'm very confused as i'm doing everything i'm advised to and everyone seems to be telling me something different. Every time iv tried to phone services to get information there are answering machines to leave a name and number and no-one is getting back to me. And when i look up how to refer him myself it tells me to go through the GP or school which are proving to be difficult. And i find it hard to believe that there is a 3yr gap where they do nothing for a possibly struggling child?

So i'm just wondering if anyone has any advice how to go about it? I hate feeling so useless! Especially when its getting to the point my son is struggling at school and falling behind :(

Schools can make referrals but doctors can too. I’ve not dealt with cahms myself but I think a referral to a paediatrician would be a starting point. Schools can also get an educational psychologist in for an assessment if they feel there is a need to do so. The school are definitely are able to do this.

I definitely think a referral to see a paediatrician would be beneficial for you and your son. They can monitor your son and put him in the right direction for getting help, asessments etc. Schools, doctors, health visitors can all refer to them. Don’t let anyone shrug 🤷‍♀️ you off.

If your son needs a little extra help, it’s better now than later.

Good luck!

I’d definitely go back to the GP and ask for a referral to a Paeditrician for assessment. If it’s an option, take your DH with you if you can. If the GP won’t listen to you, they are more likely to listen if the DF turns up with you.

There’s some information here on getting an assessment.

Have you found the SN Chat board yet too? There’s some experienced MNers in there who can be hugely helpful with the whole process