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Behaviour/development

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3 year old behaviour - normal or something more?

8 replies

Slidingdoors1988 · 17/11/2018 21:15

Hi, I’m new here and looking for you wise ladies advice.
My 3 year olds behaviour is starting to give my husband and I cause for concern. To honest I have thought there has been something more to it for at least a year but was thinking he would Maybe outgrow it.
This may be long so please bear with me. Here are some examples

  • sensory issues are he hates labels on his clothes and says they hurt. Gets really distressed. Haircuts are a nightmare as again they hurt. Foods that are particularly crumby like toast he says the crumbs hurt when they touch his skin. He also has poo issues where he will gag every time he goes sometimes to the point of vomiting.
I have been to the gp about these and he said it was just a phase.
  • behaviourally he hits, throws, kicks etc in frustration mostly at me
  • he isn’t good at listening and I could say the same thing over and over again and he hears it but doesn’t seem to retain the information
  • he has no awareness of danger , ie roads we cross roads every day to take my eldest to school and each time he goes to cross without looking. He won’t hold my hand and just runs or jumps every where never walks.
  • he talks relentlessly- and you have to repeat back every sentence to him word for word before he will move on.
  • his play his repetitive , everything in lines and only plays with Thomas toys never anything else and can’t seem to hold concentration for any length of time to do an activity.
His is such a loving and affection little boy and is so full of fun and life, truly a big character but his needs and behaviour are ruling our family life and I think I need some help. I plan to call the HV next week. Just looking for some advice in the mean time x thank you for reading x
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imamearcat · 17/11/2018 22:14

No expert but didn't want to read and run.

I think in isolation doesn't sound anything too out of the ordinary but all together I understand your concerns.

How is his speech / understanding? How bad is the hitting etc? How often?

I'm sure your HV should give you some good guidance.

TheApeOfDeath · 18/11/2018 18:03

Hi there,
Sorry it’s all so hard at the moment with your DS.
You make mention of certain behaviours as if they are symptoms. Are you worried about a particular condition?

Slidingdoors1988 · 18/11/2018 20:22

@the ape no I’m trying not to google or pinpoint a condition in particular as I know there are so many things out there that I have no knowledge of. I have had people say things to me like he is on the spectrum or one relative keeps saying he’s OCD ina jokey way but I don’t want to look for symptoms of something that might not be there. I have just listed behaviours of his that from my experience of my eldest and her peers and my sons peers that seem different or exaggerated if that makes sense?

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TheApeOfDeath · 19/11/2018 17:24

It’s so hard picking apart what could be normal developmental differebces and what might be cause for concern. I’m sorry you’re going through this. From my own experience (my son is profoundly autistic and deaf) it helped to keep a bit of a diary of his behaviour early on. Then you can recognise patterns and you won’t forget things when you need to relate them. You can link things up then eg ‘he hit me 3 times when I said it was bedtime’. Recognising flashpoints and the like. Definitely call the HV. They will have most likely observed similar behaviour.
He’s certainly displaying some of the classic ASD characteristics but then some of these behaviours occur in neuro typical children too.
No easy advice or answers. You will have to push and wait and worry. It’s been a long road for us and my son’s disabilities are very obvious.

Good luck and have some WineFlowers

Wineandsleepplease · 19/11/2018 18:14

My daughter is 3 and has Autism, a lot of what you have said is the same as my daughter. Speak to health visitor x

Lara53 · 20/11/2018 12:04

Sounds like my niece who has ASD and innatentive ADHD

Slidingdoors1988 · 20/11/2018 16:31

Thank you all for your messages of support. It really helps to know I’m not over thinking or losing my marbles!! I will call the HV tomorrow. Whatever it is I just want to help him manage his day to day life better and be happy x

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Slidingdoors1988 · 01/12/2018 21:42

Hi again. Just wanted to say thank you to you all. You gave me the courage to seek advice from his teacher and HV and he hasn’t been referred to be assessed for aspergers/ autism. I feel almost relieved that someone is listening and it’s not just in my head. I truly feel it is a positive step in helping us all moving forward. From the bottom of my heart thank you xx

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