Anyone else have a shy/quiet child?

[Lisa229]

I hope you don't mind me posting, I am a newbie and have lurked for a while but really needed some advice and reassurance as I don't know anyone else in the same situation.

Does anyone else have a quiet/shy child? Lily is coming up to 3 in July. She has always been quite reserved but with me, DH, immediate family and friends she has grown into a confident, typical toddler, talking non-stop and bossing us around, although sometimes with people she knows well she can take a while to warm to people.

However at nursery they keep saying she is very quiet. Plays and participates in activities but doesn't talk much unless the teachers specifically ask her something, in which case she will ask in a whisper. If they are outside, she will stick near her favourite teacher rather than get stuck in on the bikes or scooters. If they are singing nursery rhymes, she may do the actions occasionally but won't join in with the singing even though I know she loves singing them at home. She has been at nursery 2 afternoons a week since Jan and I thought that it would help her confidence but she just seems to be the same, even though she loves going and talking about all her friends when we get home.

I just don't want her to be classed as the quiet one and feel she is missing out on joining in and wonder if there is something I can be doing to help her or whether it is just something that will take time. She is due to go up to 5 mornings a week from Sept, although I will probably start her off with 3. All the other kids seem boisterous and confident at nursery, I just don't want her to be the one with no friends.

Hope someone can advise. Thanks

My dds are both really quiet and shy especially with adults. My dd1 has been fine with her peer group since starting proper school though. I never ever worried about it - everyone's different after all and you can't change the way she is. She seems happy so chill out and she'll be fine!

My dd2 was so quiet they thought she had some kind of learning difficulties but she is really confident with her peers now and so popular at school (she's 7).

I really wouldn't worry - even the quiet ones make friends.

hello lisa
my dd, 3 yrs old, is very quiet in public to the point of being completely silent. the nursery where she used to go was concerned and so she has been seeing a speech therapist, who has contacted her school where she will go to nursery in sep, and asked them to not put any pressure on her to talk.
the other things that help are inviting children home to play and going with her to toddler groups.
she is improving a lot and can now say "thankyou" etc to strangers.
like listmaker says - don't worry

My dd1(3)is very shy, more so around females, at home she is a loud normal toddler.

Thanks for your reassurances, most of the time I have been fine with it and know it is just the way she is and that she is happy. And yes, it is probably my insecurities rather than hers.

It was just getting to me that the nursery teacher kept mentioning it and then one of the other mums said something when she saw Lily with my childminder at the park, like she is some kind of freak. She goes to toddler groups and playdates and is with my childminder 2 days a week so she does have interaction with other children. And she'll say thank you to strangers when prompted

I will chill out, probably got something to do with being 34 weeks pregnant that I've become oversensitive about the issue again.

Thanks

Lisa, as a mum with a little one in fulltime nursery for many years, I would mention that one contributing factor could be that your dd only attends 2 afternoons a week. Other children who attend more frequently would be more familiar with each other as well as the teachers. Which could leave your dd feeling like a outsider and just that little bit more tentative (though I am sure that is not intentional).

Hope it gets better once your dd attends 5 mornings a week. Certainly this won't be an issue once your dd starts school because all the children will attend similar hours. hth