My little one has been going to a nursery since he was 6 months old 2 days a week, at this particular nursery the staff were very fond of him and he really enjoyed going there which was an Inner-City setting. When he was 22months old unfortunately I had to make the decision to leave because I had changed jobs and it wasn't convenient anymore to go to this nursery, I was really sad to leave. At 23 months old he started a new nursery in the countryside nearer to home, a really beautiful nursery with loads of outdoor space and pets etc, I was so excited for him to start, it seemed perfect. Unfortunately a few weeks in my little one was showing some signs of bad behaviour and started smacking. He does have a temper on him although he had never smacked at home. I was devastated and embarrassed. However the nursery did reassure me it may just be a phase. Next we were advised that he was having real difficulty sharing and got very irate when they were teaching him to share. He is an only child so I guess because he doesn't have to share his toys at home he thought the same applied at nursery. Myself and my husband then were practicing sharing techniques then at home with him and we continue to do so. Then not long after this we were then advised he had started biting, we were baffled again he doesn't do this at home. It was really upsetting because I know how I would feel if my child was the one that was bitten. This continued on and off and then eventually the manager had a word with my husband and asked permission for my little one to be referred, which my husband agreed too as they were the experts and we wanted to co-operate. We were both as parents very upset as we discipline him at home and he tends to listen to us and stop any bad behaviour at home. I decided to call the nursery as my husband did most of the nursery drops/pick ups and I spoke to the manager. I advised that we would co-operate anyway we can to stop the challenging behaviour he was displaying. I asked the manager if she thought honestly he was displaying behaviour of having some behavioural problems or if the staff were unable to cope with challenging ways, she advised it was a mixture of both. A few weeks passed and a new lady then started at the nursery. After introducing herself to my Husband she advised that she had been sent into to train the staff (its a brand new nursery, an independent setting open a year). My husband spoke to her about all the concerns with our little one and she re-assured us that she was keeping a close eye on him to work out the time of days etc he was displaying this bad behaviour to try and tackle the problem. She also advised she felt he was quite a way off being referred as of yet. We as parents we were relieved for now hoping the would tackle the route cause of the problem. A few more weeks passed and then every time my Husband would could collect our son we were advised of bad behaviour but now with a form we had to sign at the end of each day. This continued and started to get really stressful the thought of dropping him to nursery each day as did the dread of collecting him. Again they advised that he was biting and generally the children he was biting were younger then him. Whenever he plays with his baby cousin etc I never have witnessed him do such a thing so was heartbroken to hear this. The other week my husband advised for the first time my son was screaming when he took him to nursery, I had never seen him do that. He couldn't wait to get through the door of nursery number 1 he went too. I called up 2 hours later to check on him from work and they advised he was fine and soon stopped crying and was playing nicely. I then got a phone call an hour later advising that he had bitten again quite badly and that they had to take him to the time out room to calm him. She advised he got very irate when he saw he had hurt the other child and that his care worker had to separate him and calm him down by singing him nursery rhymes, he then started to relax as his body was stiff they advised. The new lady at the nursery asked if me and his dad could go in straight away for an urgent meeting. I cried when I put the phone down, I felt awful that he had bitten a smaller child again and was starting to get really stressed that something could be the matter with my toddler. Me and my husband both left work immediately and both went straight there. We were then sat down for a meeting with the new lady and his care worker was taking notes. They advised on what actions they were taking and showing us the record of all the bad behaviour and what times they were being displayed etc. The asked us if there was anything going on at home, which there isn't. We are happily married couple and I felt very embarrassed by this question although I understand why they had to ask . They then wanted us to do role play on how we discipline him at home . Finally they asked if they could have the name of his Health Visitor so perhaps they could come in and shadow his behaviour as they felt his behaviour was "the extreme side of normal". Again we agreed, we just wanted an end to this and more importantly help for a child if he needed anything. The nursery did thank us for our co-operation and advised there was no need for me to apologise to the other parent as they had sorted it. They then asked if we had any other family members who could potentially pick our son up on the 2 full days he did a bit earlier as they felt the day was to long (the same hours as his first nursery). We explained that we didn't have big families and that the family members we did have also work. They then asked if me and my husband could shorten our days so our little one did less hours again we advised that we both need to work. I only do 3 days a week and my husband is full time so advised this wouldn't work. We were then advised to take our little one home with us then which I understand is the correct procedure due to safe guarding. She also advised to make sure he has a lovely afternoon with Mummy and Daddy as he has had an upsetting morning followed by don't tell him off when you get home as he won’t know what he has done! I felt that comment was quite patronizing but we left anyway and my boy was one very quiet toddler that afternoon. He probably didn't understand why he was home with mummy and daddy and all he wanted was cuddles off me. Me and my husband were now at the point of what do we do, the nursery had previously told us weeks ago when we mentioned taking him out that they would be sad to loose him and that it may not fix the problem, which we agreed may be the case. The next day I booked off work and we went and looked at another nursery, our little one ended up playing outside with the other kids during playtime whilst my husband and me observed his behavior along with the other children's to see if our toddler really was the most challenging one. After being there a good hour, I witnessed several of the kids pushing and throwing tantrums and the good thing was it wasn't our son! The children at this nursery seemed a little more boisterous and our son then seemed to be one of the quieter ones all of a sudden and he appeared to like it there. We then took our son to his current nursery the next day, in the back of our heads we had made the decision that it would probably be his final day. We couldn't keep going through the stress it was causing. We both agreed that our sons behavior was wrong however but I also had in the back of my head he didn't display this at his first setting. They then called me again at work after his nap to advise that he had a good day today, however they didn't want that to change and asked if we could pick him up again because they were not able to give him 1:1 in the afternoon. Once again my husband had to leave work and fetch our son. I then called on the Monday and advised we had made the decision to not send him back. We couldn't keep leaving work and I felt they were unable to cope with him anymore and were pushing him out, knowing we were the only people able to collect him. I've since spoken to my health visitor who the nursery had advised we had taken him out. She was lovely and really compassionate to our situation and understood the upset it had cause us parents as we were worried to death about our son. She advised it was the best thing to do to take him out and not to worry just yet as some children go through these phases. I asked her about joining a new nursery and she advised that I should try him at a new one and she would keep in touch to see how he settles and obviously if it continues they will help further. My concern is though because of the problems he had at the last place I'm worried sick it will continue at the new one. I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever gone through this kind of thing with bad behavior, I'm feeling very alone with it at the moment. I'm already catastrophizing about his behavior when he starts school. I cant stress enough he is such a confident, clever toddler. He does have a temper though however will always back down when me and his dad discipline him. Whenever he plays with my fiends kids he doesn't appear to do anything different to theirs. He is loud and does get distracted easily mind.