help! VERY clingy 2yr old and new baby on the way

[sunnie]

my dd age 2yrs has been very clingy from the age of 4mths. i thought it was just a phase but if anything it's got worse. she will cry for ages until she is sick if i leave her which isn't very pleasant for grandma or whoever is babysitting and very distressing for me too. she's so clingy that she won't leave the house with her dad to go to the park and insists that i do everything for her - bathtime, playing even pushing the buggy. i've tried everything and explain that mummy always comes back and will always be here but to no avail. anyway, i'm now expecting our second baby and am worrying about how she will cope as she won't even let me pick up another baby or child and works herself up into a jealous crying fit if i do. i'm a full time mum and we go to plenty of playgroups and she has friends her age that she plays with so she is used to socialising, although she is the shyest and most cautious in her 'gang' and needs constant encouragement and reassurance. have i possibly given her too much attention? does anyone have any tips?

hi sunnie, just wanted to bump your message up a bit. congrats on expecting no 2.
I don't really know what to suggest except to try a baby doll, then she can start to do things alongside you and make a step into becoming a 'big girl' instead of your baby. Can you work on this theme, eg big girl's new chair, big girl's buggy board, new bed, or whatever?
Also is it possible to try a nursery place , for a couple of mornings a week, where she stays without you? I can imagine that you fear she would cry nonstop until you return, but IME nursery staff are very good indeed at dealing with this, and after a fairly short time I have always seen the children settle down and actually start to enjoy themselves. Any changes like this would be better done before No 2 arrives.
good luck xx

Sunnie, your daughter sounds so like mine. Very very clingy to me and always has been - despite going to nursery two days a week/lots of activities. She is also shy, like your dd.
I'm expecting number two and it has definitely made dd1 more clingy and insecure. I'm afraid I have no advice as am still trying to deal with it - feel so guilty about having another child! Am hoping she is less anxious when the baby is actually here and she realises we still love her.
I kept thinking it was my fault for somehow making her clingy but I think she is just a big softy at heart - and very very attached to mummmy. Worries me though - I think nursery has helped her a lot but I still find it hard when she has days when she is so upset at leaving me.
DD won't let daddy push the buggy either! Sorry no advice really - except maybe a couple of mornings at a nursery, as Hovely suggests? Will be hard to bear as she will be upset at first but a good nursery will handle her perfectly (my dd so gets our money's worth at nursery!) take care, Dinny