Not walking almost 18 months

[mummylifesince17]

Hi everyone,I am just looking for a bit of advice. My daughter is 17 months (15/05/17) and is not walking. She started bum shuffling when she was about 13 months old. When she was just 4/5 months old she would literally want to stand all the time I was panicked she would walk super early but when she discovered sitting up unaided she seemed content not to move until 13 months. I take her to toddler classes, soft play, we walk her dogs, she has a trike, we have spread toys at different levels and areas of the house ...we have a push walker and recently even bought a toy kitchen to encourage her to stand.
She can pull up to her knees, the knee that she used to shuffle stays in that position whilst the other she can put her foot flat down. She cannot pull herself up or stand unaided. She does weight bear whilst walking with flat feet. She can walk holding both my fingers and very very occasionally if distracted enough will walk with one hand whilst holding her cup. We assist her up stairs and she can sit on a little chair to eat etc but her balance seemed so off when it comes to standing. I wouldn’t be as worried if she could at least stand or pull herself up unaided but she has to have something to balance her like have her tummy against a table.

I spoke to our HV who came out to see her. I discussed hypermobility however she was reluctant to commit to anything and said she would ask the GP if they wanted to see her. We were supposed to hear two weeks ago and I haven’t been able to catch her on the phone. Pest!

All her wee friends are walking it’s making me so upset seeing her being left behind. I was even told not to bring her to a play date because she couldn’t join in.
She wants to move she now wriggles to get down to walk aided by us even as far as all the way round Asda or to my parents house which is in the next street. She has a want to do it and is very frustrated - soft play become a nightmare as she can’t climb up anything without me taking her. However there is no indication of her improving in balance or having the strength to go it’s been the same for months physically. She cannot even cruise furniture.

I am panicked. I am worried something is wrong and we are wasting time doing the wrong things or not giving her the help she needs. Anyone any advice or similar story?

That sounds like real progress to me. She does sound very like my DS. He’s now 22 months and is able to walk but he also seems unsteady. The tightrope thing really rings a bell with me! My DS walls with his hands held up high in the air as though he’s balancing on a tightrope . His balance and walking are definitely improving, but slowly. It sounds like your DD is the same, progressing but slowly, and behind the curve. However, take heart that the improvement is there.

I’ve noticed that most children seem to walk once they can walk. What I mean by that nonsensical statement is that from their first steps, they start toddling about with little encouragement and are soon walking all the time. With my DS, he can walk but it’s been incredibly slow and he still prefers to crawl. He also won’t walk very far unaided. I wonder if your DD will be the same.

It sounds like she (and you!) are doing well and if they’ve cancelled the MRI, that’s also positive. Keep us updated!

@Ilovedotcotton lovely to hear from you again. The arms in the air sounds hilarious 😂 it’s good to know of someone with a similar circumstance. She definitely does everything with concentration and thinks about her steps. Earlier she was a little further away from the couch than she has been to pull up off it. She was shaking her head saying no and getting in a state, I just encouraged and largely ignored the hissy fit. She did eventually try and was so chuffed (she clapped her achievement). I think in part it’s becoming apparent lacks confidence but also there is a balance issue. I’m not sure how to help other than to encourage and make sure she knows how well she’s doing.

It sounds like your son is doing well and hopefully building the strength to be more confident and quicker at it all. The fact that he can walk unaided at all must be a little reassuring I hope.
Piper isn’t really interested in bum shuffling much at all anymore she just wants to take my hand and walk. It’s good but tiring! She loves food (fruit especially) and just walks me to the kitchen constantly haha. I am feeling a bit less crazed now she has made some small improvements and hoping it only gets better. I will keep posting updates thank you so much xx

@mummylifesince17
How are things? I hope everything is OK!

Hi @Ilovedotcotton lovely to hear from you and happy new year I hope you & your family had a great Christmas.

Progress wise she is pulling herself up more often & with a bit more confidence. Today she started pulling herself up to her feet on the sofa and standing unaided over and over again (the longest spell was about 20 secs before she went down on her bum).
I am hoping she is practicing on something she knows is soft in preparation for trying it on the floor- I guess only time will tell.

She is walking holding one of my fingers constantly we were at my parents for Christmas and I don’t think I sat down the whole day she just paced about the place with mummy. On a side note she is speaking more too putting two words together ‘hi mummy, hi daddy, mummy ta, mummy up or mummy that’. I don’t know how wonderful that is for anyone else’s 19 month old but I’m proud :)

How is your son doing? X

Happy New Year to you too!

What a fab update. It sounds like she’s doing really well. When my son first started standing on this own he was about 19 months but he only did it at nursery so I didn’t realise he could do it. It was only when a nursery worker commented that I realised! He started walking (well, taking a few steps) about a month later. He’s now walking full time and I’m so relieved. It’s been a long journey though! I’ve a video of him taking about 5 steps around the end of October (I think) and it’s taken him this long to be confident enough to walk all the time. The improvement in the last 4 weeks has been massive though. I still think he looks a bit stompy sometimes - I’m not sure if that’s because he’s still not 100% there or if it’s just his style! Bear in mind that he’s nearly 2 now so he’s that bit older. It does sound as though they were both at roughly the same point developmentally at the same age.

The talking is great too! Lots of kids aren’t combining words at 19 months so that’s also really positive. My DS asked ‘what is it?’ the other day and it’s the first time I’ve heard a 3 word phrase from him. I did a little dance . He says hi Mummy, Daddy no, baby go etc but he hasn’t done many combinations yet - and he’ll never do them on demand, only when he wants to

Anyway, so glad things are improving, I hope you feel a bit more reassured now.

@Ilovedotcotton that is brilliant news so happy for you. It sounds like he is doing brilliant and developing his own style. What a relief you must feel it is horrible just waiting for them to do stuff especially when you know they should be hitting certain milestones and they go past the widely accepted range. The speech sounds fab though 3 words is amazing!

Piper is def making a little progress but it is slow. I’m struggling to see how she will do it before she is 2 and that is really worrying me. I was at a kids party with her just before Xmas and got the usual ‘you probably pick her up too much’ and ‘she has probably been given everything she wants she has no motivation’. It became clear my best friend had been having many a convo about it as they all seemed very up to date.
I am just trying to be a bit more positive and focus on what she is doing- although I will admit sometimes it is very hard. We have an app next week to get her blood taken and on the 18th we are to take her to physio so they can assess. I am hoping she will cooperate she has become really quite shy with strangers and she absolutely hates medical situations (she got blood taken at 11 months & they tried so many times her hands swelled then had a minor op so drs and hospital even the dentist now she freaks out). I think the shyness with strangers is also worsened by not walking as she lacks the confidence. Who knows my mum thinks I don’t leave her enough but I’ve spent a lot of time socialising with her through classes, play dates and nursery.

Sorry but if a tangent there! X

It could be a result of hyper mobility or low muscle tone this isn't especially worrying in and of itself as plenty of people have this, the delayed walking may be an issue that could require some physio but then she'd go on to catch up or it could be indicative of a more general developmental delay. Bypass the hv go to your gp yourself and request a referral to your local child development clinic if there is one or to paediatrics if not. I wouldn't worry yourself too much at this point but it is important to be proactive when dealing with the nhs.

I think she sounds at the exact same age DS was at the same age and he’s now walking at nearly two. I know exactly how you feel. At 16 months I remember saying, ‘well, he will obviously be walking by the time he’s two, it’s nothing to worry about’ but by 19 months I was starting to think that might not be the case. He’s two later this month - 5 weeks ago, we went to a family wedding and people kept commenting on his walking, or lack of walking. He has a cousin who is 9.5 months and is already walking so the comparison was unavoidable. I felt myself becoming really defensive every time somebody made even the slightest comment about him. My DS is small (9th centile) so people tend to think he’s younger - whenever I said his real age, I could see the look of surprise and I’m sure this is because they were wondering why he wasn’t walking. However, 5 weeks later he never crawls and walks all the time. I suspect Piper will be the same - she sounds so like my DS and their timelines are exactly the same.

Ignore your mum. Children of this age need a strong bond with their main caregiver, not loads of time being passed round other people and you certainly haven’t done anything wrong.

I took a musical book with me when DS had blood taken as it helped to distract him. It was the nurse’s suggestion and worked really well. Could you do the same or load CBeebies on your phone and play it while you’re in the appointment? Distractions always help IMHO

My eldest DD bum shuffled and didn't walk until she was 21 months. She was an early talker though said her first word at 9 months and talking in sentences at 18 months. She wasn't thst interested in cruising either. One day she just stood up from her little chair and walked across the room. The health visitor wasn't concerned just said that sometimes if a child talks early they walk late it's like their body is working on one developmental milestone at a time.
She didn't look back and actually walked up a big hill at 2.
She is now 31 and has a baby of her own.

Thank you for your messages.
We had physio today and she said she has definitely got quite a lot of hypermobility in her elbows, fingers, hip and ankles. She has referred her to orthopaedics to be measured for insoles and possibly little boots that should help give her the stability to walk, building strength to walk without them in the near future. Once she has those we will attend physio and hopefully she will be off soon. They said they think she has done great considering. I am trying to take it as a positive and hope that we can get this sorted as they said there will be no long term issues once she does.

Just wanted to jump on this thread as my best friend, and her sister both have hypermobilty (both adults). Both had physio & ortho shoes when younger etc, and no issues now as adults. My best friend was actually a fantastic ballet dancer until her late 20s (when work / life got in the way).

My daughter had some slight hypermobilty in her knees and legs, and didn’t walk until 17 months, but there is no stopping her now.

Sounds like your daughter is doing fantastically - and you sound like you are doing a grand job.

@Sipperskipper thank you very much! That is really good to know. We just got a call today saying they have a cancellation on Wednesday so we will hopefully have the insoles/ boots sooner than expected which is great. I know she won’t just put them on and go but it will at least feel like we are getting somewhere I hope. The paediatrician had said she didn’t have hypermobility (to a level that would effect) however the physio seems to pick it up right away- fingers crossed she is right :)

My DD didn’t walk properly until 20 months and is also hyper mobile, she’s now 3.5 with no major issues but isn’t a huge fan of walking big distances.
You mentioned confidence in your DD - that was a major issue with mine too, hated strangers, new situations, etc. Turned out she’s really long sighted and the world was a blur to her, she’s come on so well since she got glasses. It was our HV who noticed her eyesight wasn’t quite right, maybe speak to them if you think it may be an issue. Good luck with her insoles and boots x

Thank you @Doboopedoo

We got the boots about 2.5 weeks ago. The first day while totally distracted walked properly I balled like a baby in a shop haha. Unfortunately her confidence gets her and she has barely done it since. She is walking confidently with a walker and will take a few steps sometimes but she is super nervous about not having our aid. It’s a little frustrating but I guess miracles don’t happen instantly. Her confidence has certainly grown with people and she loves the boots so that’s something. She can also stand unaided when she wants to for as long as needed. She would walk holding my fingers for ages we went to a farm the other day for a few hours and she was the only toddler walking the whole time- not interested in a buggy says they are for a baby.

So in a nutshell small progress but not quite there yet. 21.5 months c’mon baby girl! Setting the goal of her birthday on the 15th of May - fingers crossed

Well I’ll make this the final update for anyone still keeping up with it or anyone looking for help with the same issue.
The very next day after I posted my last comment my girl walked completely unaided right across a room. A little slow but she did it. The next day she did it more and more, day after that managed to do it without her boots. Today she walked into her paediatrician appointment and I almost cried with joy. We will have another physio session in April and another check in 3 months to make sure she’s progressed but it is looking like we have a walker now! 21 months old and so proud. Thank you to everyone who took time to comment and provide info and reassurance it was invaluable. To anyone experiencing similar- if you think your kid needs assistance like the little boots push for it. They will get there and things are going to be ok.