Whiny 3 year old - how do you deal with it?

[sidesplittinglol]

I'll begin by stating the obvious that I love my DD to bits. She's everything to me. But right now I'm just not enjoying her at all because of her behaviour. I know that makes me sound horrible and I hate feeling like this but parenting her is really challenging at the moment and I wondered if anyone could help me with advice and suggestions please.

She will literally cry for everything and anything. Whether it be because she wants something without asking politely first or because she's not happy with you doing something ie coming down the stairs first. She's very demanding and will stamp her feet for anything. She is inpatient and doesn't want to listen to reasons why she can not have something or has to wait. If you're speaking to her she just ignores you until you have to raise your voice to get her attention and then of course she will cry because you have.

Yes some of it is just being a 3 year old but a lot of it isn't. I just don't know what is wrong with her. I've worked with 3 year olds for years and I've never come across a child like her.

I put her in nursery hoping it would calm her down but I think she has become worse since starting. The nursery staff say she's fine and is happy there.

I know she gets tired a lot and I put her down to sleep by 7pm. She doesn't nap in the day.

Eating wise she's not a great eater. Very fussy and doesn't want to eat much. But wants to eat junk food which I refuse to give her.

Part of me thinks it's down to parenting and I'm to blame. I try my best to try engage her in activities that will stimulate her but it's hard to do this all the time when I have a 6month old and a almost 2 year old to deal with as well.

Maybe there's something I'm not doing right or not doing. So if anyone has a similar experience or some good advice I'd really welcome it.

Sorry for the long post. I just don't know what to do anymore and feel like I'm failing her.

My little girl was just like this, this sounds utterly mad but honestly the thing that helped her the most was putting her on a multi vitamin, she was and still is a dreadful eater she has her days that she will eat anything you put in front of her and others where she literally won't touch a meal all day, try a multi vitamin after a few weeks of being on it my little girl really calmed down, she used to whinge and moan about anything and everything.

My DD was very, very fussy st thiscage and i found it very hard. We came to realise that it’s our job to give her food, it’s up to her whether or not she eats it. I agree with Jessica, I’d be tempted to give her a Multi-vitamin and Mineral supplement and ignore any fussiness. There’s a great book which should help called My Child Won’t Eat!

As for the whinging, I’m not sure you can do much but you can change how you react to it. Try Calm Parents, Happy Kids

Thanks for the replies! I do give her multi vitamins but she's still the same. I wonder if the particular one is affecting her?

Mate I could literally have written this post (other than the fact that mines a boy and an only child)
I'm currently sat upstairs cause I've just had enough of today. I actually hate weekends at the moment. Apparently it "a stage" and they're just being threenagers!

I wish I had words of wisdom to give you. I know that I deal with it far better if I'm less tired. I can use distraction etc a lot easier. His behaviour doesnt change but my reaction to it and his subsequent reactions do.

It's bloody hard and I am struggling with it myself but your reaction really does make a difference :)

Same here! How do you get them to take a multi-vitamin? My DD won't take it from milk as she somehow knows it's there and she won't take the gummy sweets either! She is eating so badly too no fruit or veg whatsoever!

One of my DC was just the most whiny 3 year olds ever to have graced this planet. I love them so so much but it was an awful phase.

I tried to be really kind and sympathetic to them rather than irritated and cross. This helped a tiny bit.

Things improved hugely once they turned 4. because it’s really hard.

Nowifi I told her it's a strawberry sweetie as opposed to a vitamin and now she's always excited to have them each morning.

I've noticed she's getting tired quickly and earlier than normal recently.

Jeckyl you make a good point about changing my reaction. I try but I always fail 

I know its so easy to say but so hard to do. Every day I say to myself I'll be different. I just focus on each "incident" as it happens.

The other thing I read about which I think is good, but also really hard to do is to make words positive.
So for example Im constantly telling mine not to sit on the dog or not to stroke him so hard (he has a habit of giving violent love 😂). I really try switch that round to "gentle hands with the dog" or give soft cuddles. So telling him what to do rather than what not to do.

Multivitamin wise, mine has his "orange sweet" every morning but I've not noticed a difference in behaviour. If it's worked for others I wonder if it's the one I give 🤷

We gave my little girl wellbaby liquid form

I've tried changing how I speak to her today and she's been better but I don't know if it's because of that or that she woke up on the right side of bed. She's back at nursery tomorrow so we'll see how she goes.

My God, I was just about to write up a post called "Terrible Threes instead of terrible twos" , this is literally my daughter to! She is a nightmare, today she really tested me.
I feel myself starting to lose my cool with her, she cries to get her own way all the time and it has all started since she started sure start strangly enough.
She isn't eating atall, and she started off a really good eater. I just have no time for her attitude at the moment, yes she is a child and I love her dearly too but it is hard to cope with her ATM.

Sometimes I wonder if it's because something is happening at nursery and it's affecting her behaviour.

I'm sorry you're going through the same youdontknowme but I'm glad at not just me that's in this boat.

@youdontknowme It's called being a Threenager.

A threenagers sounds about right. Mines so stroppy and argumentative and whiny about EVERYTHING. Even my childminder is saying he's "emotional" about everything and he's normally better with her than with me 😭

It's lovely to have solidarity with other parents...but I'd really rather not have to deal with it 😂

Oh I agree solidarity is good but would much rather not have to deal with it.

How do you deal with it when it happens?

Tbh mine does one of 2 way. If I'm exhausted I sometimes end up just shouting at him to stop whining 🙈 or if we're at home I'll go upstairs to the look for a couple of minutes to chill then go back and deal.

I try and distract him with toys/the TV/ what book would you like to read etc and just ignore his whine/strop or I attempt to tell him off positively 😂 so by that I mean saying what he should do instead of what he shouldn't.
For example: Ethan please can you talk nicely/use gentle hands/ chose a different toy, instead of don't shout/whine, don't hit the dog or no you can't have that.

It's super hard but I reckon practice makes it easier....plus caffeine ;)