Hi All,
Just wanted to get some other views on this to see if I am over reacting. DS is currently 3 (4 in Jan) and is in preschool 3 days per week and nursery for 2. He started pre school in Jan this year (he's been at his other setting FT since being 1) and over the period have been having reports from them about his behavior. Similar to his other setting but no where near as much and only every now and again and normally in relation to pushing a child or saying no to the teacher
Anyway he has come back to preschool after summer and I am starting to dread pick up, everyday it feels like there is something they are saying he's not done well, thrown a toy, pushed someone etc. They do say he has made good choices in some ways but seem to labour and focus on his negative behavior.
Had a parents meeting with them a couple of weeks ago to be presented with a document where they are trying to see what the triggers are for his behaviour (fare enough as we had discussed this before summer). Two incidents in the morning related to him throwing items from/down the slide. Another one in the afternoon related to blocking access to the toilets. The first two I would just say are age appropriate the later one being mischievous and he should be reprimanded for it. I wouldn't cosnider the first two needed to be logged as behavioural issues.
During the meeting they seemed to focus on the negatives of DS, even saying it's becoming the DS show and they have 20 other kids to look after. Also made a comments around at drop off to let them know what he had been like through the night or quote "if he had been a little shit" before coming to preschool. I must have reacted at this comment as it was then rephrased. Also made a couple of mentions about they were concerned about his impulse behavior and when I queried them on this they said it wasn't usual for his age. Everything I have researched since those comments doesn't support that view.
This was on the Wednesday and at pick up on Friday before they broke for half term I sought out his key worker to see how he had been. Said he had been good in the morning and had helped the little ones who had stayed for a stay and play sessions. Then had a few things that had happened that afterrnoon, although with the chaos of pick up I didn't grab what these had been. She then slipped in that he was made to eat lunch on his own in the preschool room with one of the teachers the day before as he had been removed from the school hall.
This was the first I had heard of it, she referenced something about him weaving through chairs on the floor. Again with being cought off guard and with the school pick up I couldn't grasp the full extent of this. Then said he was very upset in the preschool room with being made to eat on own.
Following this I spoke with his nursery to see if they have any concerns with his behavior and can see any issues with impulse control. They have said they absolutely don't on either front. his behaviour is age appropriate and most of the time he is doing things to either provoke a reaction or make people laugh. I mentioned about being removed at lunch and they were horrified and said that they would never to that even if a child was throwing chairs and tables
I have spoken to my son about what he was doing at lunch to be removed and he basically did a commando crawl type movement.
I just feel this is really poor practice of them to do this and they seem to have a view now he's a naughty child and picking up on every time he makes a poor choice. He is only 3 for heavens sake. Don't get me wrong he can be a handful and stubborn at times, but nothing I would consider out of the norm, so I can't understand the approach being taken by his preschool. Sorry for the essay but does anyone else have any similar issues.