11 year old ADHD?

[J7223j]

I have an 11 year old boy in S1, this is him
Finds it hard to take a joke
Gets really angry if playing video games with pals
Takes ages to get to sleep at night always has since being a toddler -once asleep sleeps through fine
Goes off in rages all the time when things dont go his way
Little effort in school work despite being quite bright - hard to get him to do his homework without resistance and then minimal effort

I took him to the doctors a while back because i was concerned he wasn't getting enough sleep he was quite upset at going "i dont want to be labelled a freak" the first doctor we saw basically mad me feel like i was there just to get some kind of drugs for him or something - the second doctor we saw was more sympathetic but we had played it down a bit because our son we very resistant to go.

We feel like we are constantly battling with him - which is hard for him and us - trying to enforce discipline knowing the age that he is at it is so important. He is popular at school but very easily influenced. Our other child is totally different to this. Just not sure where to go with it - If we go to the doctor he is going to resist because he's very clued up and doesn't want to get labelled. Equally could it just be how he is - the number of people who have said to me Oh thats just boys! I just dont know what I do know is I just want to being up happy content polite children that cooperate and follow rules.

Go to the doctor without him initially so that you can properly chat. Have you discussed this with school/ senco? What do they suggest?

Hi Ive not discussed with school as he hasn't long been at secondary I initially went the doctor on my own but he was not very helpful. 2nd time we went my son came but we did play it down as we knew he was sensitive we went back again as things had improved but seem to go downhill again. Dont get me wrong he does lots of lovely things too but the things that concern me are him taking ages to get to sleep at night (he was told by the first doctor that of he couldn't sleep he should get up and do his bedtime routine again and again) We thought this was silly we would never get him to sleep he would use it as an excuse to get up These days he only gets up about once but he will lye in bed and read of play in his room for 1-2 hours every night - he's 11 an he goes to bed at 9:30 at the very earliest then it takes him 1-2 hours to get to sleep and he's a pretty active boy out playing most of the time. The other thing that concerns us is he takes little jokes very hard (he's able to give them out to others though) and he gets angry about stuff - not physically but verbally shouting. He's not violent but shouts. Im really not sure where to go with it

Does he play video games? Or does he spend a lot of time on his phone? These two things can really affect sleep/ behaviour if not used moderately.