Advice needed!

[rony]

My ds is 6 weeks old, dd 20 months and so far I'm really struggling with managing a demanding baby and lively toddler. I was very lucky with dd, she was an easy baby, slept well, didn't cry much and settled very quickly into a routine. I'm finding it really difficult this time round as it's so much harder when you've got 2! He seems to get overtired and overstimulated easily so have tried to settle him down for naps in the bedroom in his moses basket during the day, but he keeps waking up after just a few minutes and I can't spend time settling him as I can't leave dd downstairs on her own for long. I'm swaddling him and trying the shush-pat thing but can't shush-pat for long enough due to dd. Consequence is that ds is hardly sleeping at all during the day - he also won't sleep on car seat, bouncy chair etc. Then during the night he is feeding every 2-3 hours but also waking up in between feeds and taking ages to go back to sleep so I am getting really exhausted. He is also crying most of the time he is not sleeping/feeding, and I can't work out what's wrong - I thought you were expected to be able to understand your babies cry by 6 weeks?! impossible to nap during the day as one or the other of them is always awake! Has anyone else got two with a similar age gap - and how on earth do you manage?!

Hi there. It is hard work having them close together isn't it. You are not alone.

What worked for me was taking them out in the morning to tire toddler out so that they would have a nice long sleep in the afternoon which would then help me with baby (either spending time one to one or all of us napping together).

Are you breast feeding/bottle feeding baby?
A friend of mine had an irritable baby for weeks and weeks, really crying before, during and after feeds. She took her to the GP who diagnosed PND for mum...(which she was sure wasn't the problem)
so went for a second diagnosis of the problem at the baby clinic who realised that the baby milk was casuing her DD's discomfort. She was changed to soya milk and is like a different baby. Sleeping and feeding well.

Is there anyone that can help you with this?? as it would take the heat off of you for a bit too.

Hopefully another Mnetter will be along soon with some more advice to try out.

Let us know how you get on.

Oh gosh you are living my life a year ago. I really struggled ds cried all the time and it was a huge shock after a very laid back dd.
He pretty much screamed for the first 6-8 weeks of his life and it was tough. He hardly slept in the day but was better at night. TBH I just muddled on carried ds in a sling so I could still spend time with dd and thankfully as it was this time of year (ds born in april) the weather was nicer and we spent a lot of time at the park and ds did slep better in the pram.
Ds did suffer from reflux as well and was put on medication which was a big help but not a cure. Is it possible your ds could have silent reflux if he is not too much of a sicky baby???
I wouldn't worry too much about settling him out of the room because believe me in a few months he will sleep with a brass band next tom him, I did aso find that ds slept better when he could hear me and dd moving around and playing.

He is a bit young for the shush pat thing, he may just need to be held close to you and this is where a sling could be good, a decent wrap a bit of practice and you could even get him in a back carry and still have all your atention for your dd. He is not crying because he wants attention he is crying because he needs something, a cuddle help to sleep whatever.

I know how hard it is but all I can say is I am a year down the line and everyone comments on what a lais back baby ds is, when he gets tired or bored he stil can let rip but he has settled down so much and that time when I felt the way you do now at 6 weeks is a distant memory and doesn't even seem that bad.

It may be worth going to the dr and checking out reflux really push for some help as dr's can be pretty dismissive if a baby is gaining weight etc but something to settle the acid in his tummy may be what he needs.