Hyperactive defiant toddler - best activities indoors?

[1sttimemumm]

Any advice on toys/ activities in the house for a hyperactive 18 month old? Or coping mechanisms. I plan and set up lots of different tasks (my house is tiny so v.limited storage) and she bores of everything in 5 minutes. And I’m broke so has to be cheap! She does not want to sit down and do an activity and is always standing or walking so crafty activities with water or play dough for example are tricky. Especially with carpet! I’d love hard floors! Climbs out high chair. I do take her out as much as poss (I won’t get started on the challenges that come with that haha) but even just a couple of hours at home are tough. She’s up at 5am most days so 4 hours of so always to kill in the morning. That’s over 40 five min tasks. Oh and local walks around the corner first thing are hard as she runs off and refuses to hold my hand/ sit in the pram. I do try and enforce but she puts up such a fight and endangers herself with severe tantrums- throwing head back on concrete floor and escaping pram straps. She’s actually broken the pram back rest (ripped all stitching and detached it) from her escape attempts. She’s lovely, bright and enthusiast about everything just highly emotional, defiant fearless and manic! I’m pregnant too so she really takes it out of me. I’m working PT and my days off should be quality time not just about coping :(. She’d love kids to play with but I have no mum friends and regular play groups always happen in mornings and i end up missing them as she naps any time from 9:30am-11am

Sorry just realised what a rant this is and know millions of mums around the world deal with difficult toddlers not just me

DS1 was (and I'm afraid at 5 still is) an early riser so you have my sympathy regarding the sense that you've already done a morning's worth of activities and it's only 9am!

First of all I'd work on getting you both out to groups so she has children to play with and you can find some similarly exhausted people to talk to! Can I ask about her sleep? If up at 5 are you still on 2 naps a day? Can you bring the first one forward and make it short to ensure you can get to toddler groups. Then home from toddler group, lunch, long nap after lunch. If on one nap it's trickier. Might be worth a quick catnap in the morning to refresh her enough for playgroup? Then push the nap to after lunch. Depends on your child whether that would work.

If she likes to be active, does she like helping you around the house? Can you get her to, for example, help you put away washing? Take one sock at a time to her bedroom . Lots of trips back and forth. DS1 loved that. My two were also obsessed with tea parties at about that age and loved having them anywhere that wasn't the living room. We'd have to pack up the tea set, gather teddies, gather play food, take it upstairs to my bedroom (several trips- mine loved stairs), lay out picnic, eat picnic, pack away, cart downstairs again. Sounds mad when I type it out, but was a much longer game than simply getting out the tea set in living room!

Finally, never hesitate to use CBeebies to give yourself a break.

Thanks for your reply. Yep, the early morning suck eh. Wish there were 7am playgroups!

Yea I could definitely do with taking her more groups. I guess I get nervous asfeel so judged due to her tantrums but justneed to ignore those mums. Unfortunately not sure I can do much about her sleep aside some drastic sleep training. Only one nap for half an hour up to 2 hours and then she goes to bed 8pm-9pm and is up for 1 hour ar least at 2am also. She doesn’t seem to need a lot of sleep lol and won’t self soothe. It’s either boob or long battle. Her sleep is very inconsistent do it’s hard to plan my days.

Yea il try with the laundry. She defibsteiy loves to wander, i live in a small maisonette and my mum a decent size house and she’s so much happier there as she just wanders from room to room exploring everything! Tea parties are great idea! Especially as she seems to like nurturing things. Tonight we managed to bath her without fighting and hyperventilating the whole time by bringing a plastic baby doll in bath for her to wash in there 😂. Im guessing they sell sets?

She watches too much tv already. Want to cut it down, probs 4 hours or more a day atm plus iPad in car (bad I know but last resort after horror car trips from the day she was born).

Thanks so much again for the replies and ideas. Will definitely get a tea set. I always thought she was too young for stuff like that but actually maybe she needs older kids stuff now.

you could always get creative with a couple of bigish boxes from the shops
look on pinterest for ideas
and try reigns or backpack thing with harness/reigns
similar to this - www.littlelife.com/products/toddler-daysacks

A slide or indoor trampoline.

Sounds just like my son.

Play pushchair was amazing. Seeiously try it, he’d wheel it back and forth for hours.

Don’t bother setting up activities if she only does 5 mins with them.

A step to stand up to kitchen sink and splash in water / washing up liquid bubbles? Maybe with some cups etc.

Toy kitchen things.

Big box with lots of blocks and other bits in it she can take out and look at.

These were the few items which would keep mine occupied for slightly longer stretches.

Also i know no one wants to use screens but for when you’re desperate... cbeebies

My DS1 was just like this. We would regularly turn up at Tesco cafe for tea and toast at 7 am just to get out for a bit before groups started. It’s quoeter at that time too so he/we could run/ scoot up and down the aisles to pass the time. Is your local pool open at that time?

It is really difficult, I sympathise. Have you tried a backpack with a strap or a wrist strap instead of pushchair or a scooter with a strap you can hold on to?

Firstly don’t worry at all about feeling judged. There isn’t a single parent who hasn’t had to deal with a tantrum. It’s normal human behaviour to look at a child who is screaming or crying but that doesn’t mean you are being judged, you can’t possibly know what the person looking is thinking, they could be thinking “gosh, I’m.so glad that’s not my child for a change”.

I agree with pushing her nap to after lunch. Take her to the

playgroups/swimming Sessions/tumble tots. Whatever you can find. Let her have a small nap in the morning but then wake her and get out. It may help you to see you’re not the only one who is tired and struggling. If you are Bfing, are you getting to any BFing Support Groups like Le Leche League?

Once you’ve been out, give her lunch, if she’s still awake and then let her nap. My DD would often fall asleep on the way home from being out in the morning so would end up having a late lunch. Do what works for you.

The No Cry Sleep Solution has sone advice on early mornings which might help, especially as the 4am is the new 5

Definitely get her some reigns too. It’s handhold, pushchair or reigns. You have to be firm, there is no compromise or she’ll get hurt. At 18 months she won’t know the dangers of running into the road.

As for activities, have you tried cooking or baking with her? You can get child safe knives which they can use for chopping things like bananas and both of mine would be happy to stir mixtures and help with baking.

How about buying 2 types of pasta, say one twists and one tubes, mixing them in a bowl and getting her to let them out?

Could she match socks? If you put a line of single socks and give her the matching pair and ask her to match them up?

Would she put washing in the washing machine or take it back out at the end?

Have a look in the local charity shops too. Things like simp,e jigsaws or giant beads for threading are usually cheap.

There’s a few more ideas here OP.

Let us know how you get on

*sort the past out and reins.

Sorry for the typos and the extremely long post.

My DS was a very busy toddler who who woke at 5am. You have my sympathy

Ply dough recipe. I might be back with a few ideas later