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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Are some kids always disinterested in toys?

13 replies

Argent · 12/06/2007 20:34

My 3 y.o. is still completely disinterested in toys. We have a large extended family and toys have poured in so we have some fab stuff but I can't get him to play with anything unless I'm with him. Is this usual behaviour? Whenever I am at friend's houses - my mum-mates say their kids do a substantial amount of independent play during the day which makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong at home. I've even looked for books on the subject but found no joy there. Anyone - any ideas, I'd really appreciate the input.

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Furball · 12/06/2007 20:49

Maybe start playing then say mummy just has to go and put tea on or go to the loo or something and disappear off for 5 minutes and see if he carries on without you.

TheGoddessBlossom · 12/06/2007 21:34

quite often my 2.8 year old doesn't play with toys the way they "should" be played with. ie, he has a tool box and a castle with figurines etc, but doesn't play with them as you would expect but would rather pretend he is going to school/work/Sportacus saving people, that kind of thing and he looks to me to start him off, so i say things like, "right if you are getting ready for school you will need to lay all your lunch box things and tools out on that cushion won't you" etc and off he goes and it kick starts his imaginary play which can last for an hour! maybe try something like that? Fire their imagination within their own realm of interest? HTH....

gess · 12/06/2007 21:36

How does he play with them when he's with you? How's his language development? If language is delayed then often play skills are as well.

CarGirl · 12/06/2007 21:38

my eldest NEVER played with toys she was & still is a people person...........was so much easier to have a child that played with toys you actually get some peace.

What does he like doing? Mine just liked talking and being involved with what I was doing.

Wolfgirl · 12/06/2007 21:43

Hi there Argent, my DS is 3.5 and has NEVER played on his own. He is only just about starting to occupy himself, but for like nano seconds.

Good suggestion from Furball, but I have tried this with my DS, but he just gets up and follows me, where ever I go in the house. it is seriously like having a ball and chain round my ankle LOL.

As I say...he is just starting to occupy himself, and its been a lot better since DD has started to play with him (although she is only 17 months and his rather a bully tbh).

I think some kids are just socialites, and love to be with people. We have a staggering amount of toys, but DS will only play with them in any substantial way if there are other kids around.

So no, I dont think you are alone, but I think this is one wave you just have ride out. HTH xxx

LynetteScavo · 12/06/2007 21:44

DS2 isn't into toys, would much rather chat or 'help'. DS1 spent hours pushing cars and trains around, but DS2 has to be doing something 'real'.

Freddiecat · 12/06/2007 21:47

My DS (5) is a bit like that. He would far rather do something real. His favourite toys are things like a toy lawnmower or drill - but he only plays with these when DP is using the proper lawnmower / drill in which case he uses it alongside him.

We got him a cheap but real digital camera for his birthday and he was absolutely over the moon in a way he has NEVER been about any toy.

I find playing with him hard work as I always do it wrong or he's not interested.

Sometimes I wonder if we have too many toys and he is too overwhelmed by them all. Not that he'll hear of any being taken away!

lilymolly · 12/06/2007 21:51

dd the same, not really interested in toys, unless we are at other people houses.
She would far rather be outside in the garden. We too thought maybe it was because their was too many toys, but we ration them and she still is not bothered!

She loves helping me do what ever I am doing, or playing with the dog!

maisemor · 13/06/2007 10:15

My daughter is the same. It got a lot better when her brother came along and they play together. I take it that, its not that kind of advice you are looking for though

She loves helping me, so she gets to grate the cheese, butter the bread, put laundry in the machine, hang up laundry. Get your child to do the work whilst you supervise .

florenceuk · 13/06/2007 10:32

yes DS never really played with toys - his true love was the TV or books. He will play in the garden (loves pruning and rearranging things unfortunately) - at that age he also liked playdough and the sandpit. Winter was a bit of a problem! DD much better, plays with all the rejected toys - on the other hand, she has the attention span of a gnat when it comes to books. It's a matter of personality - I can't wait for DS to learn to read as I suspect he will be a real bookworm.

oneoftwo · 15/06/2007 15:03

DS1 also not interested in playing with toys unless I am actually playing with him.

I am interested to know whether your DC's play with toys at Mother and Toddler Groups/other people's houses? I find myself chasing after DS as currently he would rather play with doors for example while others play nicely in the same area as their Mums!!??

LazyLine · 17/06/2007 21:23

oneoftwo, I am glad I am not the only one. I had to leave a Wacky Warehouse a few months ago as DS would not stop playing with the staff doors and gates and going into "forbidden areas". He was in no way interested in playing in the play area.

He is always the same, he wants to open fire escapes and play with any plug sockets he can find. He also likes all doors, and moving chairs around from table to table.

It's nice to see him so curious at the things around him, it's like he wants to see how things work but it's exhausting!

And he's only 22 months!

Original poster

Argent · 17/06/2007 21:48

Thanks everyone for your comments, I do feel better. It sounds like it maybe personality riding out. He's a chatterbox and story junkey and loves being outdoors and with animals. He's interested in just about anything providing its real and I or anyone else will discuss it with him (similiar to many of your experiences). I feel a bit more relaxed about it now but 'm going to try starting him off with a storyline (thanks GoddessBlossom) Its not that I think it's the end of the world if he doesnt get into toys - I just dont want him to miss out on what I remember as the most wonderful part of childhood.

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