Why does it all go so wrong?

[kkgirl]

We had a nice day today, sounds cruel but as we are all together 24/7 dh and I sent children to Escape from Parents at the Leisure Centre and enjoyed 6 hours of peace building back our relationship together. We have drifted apart a lot over the years, and the constant day to day life with 3 demanding children has taken its toll much as we love them.
Then we decided to sort out their school shoes, 1 and a half hours later, everyone had new shoes and then whilst waiting for DH to come out of Argos, dd and ds starting fighting. DS got whacked in the eye and was crying, and DD got a smack which made her scream. Great!! And guess what it has been all downhill all evening. Stropping from all of them and refusal to go to bed. What can we do to prevent our family becoming this downward spiral of negativity all the time. It really gets me down. I try to be positive and calm and diffuse things, and everyone else is arguing and bickering. Help!!!

I think someone will have a great answer for you, I just think that that just seems to be life No matter how much I do for ds1 (play dates, parks etc) something usually happens to spoil the day. I now just think of it as a blimp, and think of the good times. Sorry today didn't end up well {{{hugs{}}}}

kkgirl - sorry to hear that the day went a bit pear shaped i don't really know what to suggest as i'm not at this stage yet but how do you deal with this sort of behaviour? Could you change your approach perhaps and find another way that deters it?

Hi kkgirl. Sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday. It must be so hard with 3 children. 2 is difficult enough. Like you say you are the one always trying to diffuse the situation, trying to placate the kids, and trying to give attention to dh. No wonder you get down - it drains you. Sorry to hear you and dh are having problems. I think having children must be the biggest strain on marriages, especially when the children get older and more rebellious. My Mum had 4 girls 3 of us with 3 years between us and then another one 10 years later. She says at the time she thought her and dad would never get throught it, but now we are all grown up and gone and she has her grandchildren it was all worth it in the end. Anyway sorry to ramble on. Hope you are feeling better today and will be thinking of you.

Thanks for all your kind messages. I wasn't really moaning about life as much as being frustrated. I do really try hard, and like everyone else do lose it sometimes, but when I am being really positive trying to placate etc, it is just so hard.

Anyway today has been great, dh at work, ds has a a friend around and it has been really calm and happy, so I feel a lot better.

Thanks for your support.

Just a quick suggestion. BRIBERY - try intorducing good boy/girl stickers or similar and if the promise to be good the best behaved gets a sticker/treat etc at the end of the day. they will surley want to be the best behaved for mummy and all 3 may end up being good all day!!

it is really difficult. end of day hardest. lots of times try really hard to have nice day, succeed, only for it all to go tits up at nights and then feel it's a really crap end to a nice day. can't offer any good suggestions as i'm often in the same position!

Only idea maybe is try to separate as much as possible. how old are they, btw?

one 10 1/2 boy and two 8 year olds boy and girl

oh blimey, so the future isn't going to get any easier for me then????????? they don't grow out of it????????????

have you tried 'siblings without rivalry' or how to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk', both by Faber & Mazlish/ both very good, might give you useful hints.

Any other bloody job you could resign from.

best of luck xxx