my prem baby has been hard work

[kreamkrackers]

hi my dd2 is a very hard baby to handle. she was 11 weeks early and i've always put it down to this. she's almost 11 months old now.

she screams most of the time, finds it very hard to calm down when she's so worked up

she is very emotional

has full blown tantrums

her head is big compared to her height/weight but brain scan was fine

she bounces all the time and throws herself about

she still doesn't sit, even for 10 seconds as she has no balance. she's almost crawling, gets in the position and rocks

i have hardly ever heard her laugh although she does smile

i think she recognises her name but it's like she chooses to ignore us when we talk to her (or so dp thinks)

she is terrified of the hoover

she has always chewed her fingers, from when she was first home. she has to have a cloth toy everywhere we go.

i'm worrying now. because dd1 has severe sn and loads more health problems i know she's so much more advanced than her but her behaviour doesn't appear to be the same as other babies. is this normal or should i worry? dd1 never cried so at first we thought it was normal but it just doesn't feel right.

we're seeing her paediatrician tomorrow because she was early (we will carry on seeing him until she's 5), i want to know what other people think before i bring it up with him.

i've been adviced to try cranial osteopathy with her from another mner. what do you think is best?

TIA

wanted to bump this for you and hope you get some helpful posts soon

Goodness me I am not quite sure what to suggest. But ds was early, born by c-section. Cranial sorted us out within a couple of visits.
But maybe your situation is more complicated.
Just wanted to offer some support.

i would bring this up with paed. thats what they are there for. sorry can't offer any advice.good luck x

the paed will be the expert. In terms of the not sitting and almost crawling, that sounds OK for her age, bearing in mind that for milestones etc IIRC they take into account the number of weeks early a baby is, so it's like she's 8.5 months old rather than 10.5 iyswim, when you look at that sort of thing.

My dd is almost 11 months, born at term, but very small (4lb13oz). Just to reassure you (I hope) about a couple of things you've mentioned.....

• Not recognising name - my DD "pretends" not to recognise her name, although I am certain she knows it really.
• DD bounces ALL the time. We were told off by the hv a while ago for bouncing her too much (hv realised it wasn't us doing it when dd was on her lap one day !)
• DD FREAKS whenever the hoover is switched on (probably hasn't been exposed to it often enough !). She only calms down if I hold her while hoovering which is a nightmare ! -DD will not sit still at all. She always has to be doing something/going somewhere/getting one to one attention ... Prior to her being able to sit up and now crawl, she was a real pain. I reckon she was probably so frustrated with herself.

Hope this is helpful if only to let you know that you're not on your own....

Good luck with the paed tomorrow, now GET TO BED !!!!!!!!!

Don't want you to go unanswered but lots of points. I have to say my first thought was cranial osteopathy although I have absolutely no experience of it at all but from what I've read it sounds like it might be worth a try. Might be worth posting on health and seeing if there are any osteopaths around.
Taking some points in isolation my dc has become a finger sucker all of a sudden seems to find it a big comfort or could she be teething? Same one is still terrified of the hoover at 2.5
If you're seeing Dr tomorrow make a list of the things that you are concerned about get it out in the room go through it and write his answers on it so you can review it after will be easier if dp comes with you.
I'm sure someone who knows more will be along later.
My only other thoughts are to find things that sooth her and just go with them when possible have you tried classical or whale music? will the TV help for a bit so you can get some jobs done or have time for dd1? If possible will a walk in the pushchair help. Can you split them between you and dp at times s they are both getting some one on one?
HTH and I'm sure it will settle down as she gets older.

OK I'm the slowest typer on mumsnet!

Frustration is a good point I remember mine were driving me up the wall before they could move but once they got going they were happier I just had to charge around after them!!

the classical music could help but we used to play this when dd1 was in icu so it's too upsetting (god i'm even thinking about the music and it draws back too many bad memories). will have to buy some whale music tomorrow and see if that'll help.

will definetly tell the paediatrician. hopefully it's all normal baby stuff but i need reasuring.

i try to hoover when she's in bed but as you know with kids it isn't always pratical.

will get hunting for a cranial osteopathy specialist tomorrow but i really should go to bed.

thanks so much for all the advice and quick responses (i'm a slow typer too 1dilemma!)

hi,
i really do think you should see an osteopath, there is a charity www.occ.uk.com they will treat you for donations, i pay £15 per session usually almost an hour! it worked miraculously when my baby had crying problems when he was younger and he stopped having his nightly crying fits. i have known other people who have also benefited by taking their kids there and i would consider it necessary for a prem baby, as their birth must have been traumatic for them- especially as your dd was born so early.
please read into it and go there. they are really nice they take all medical history of your baby and then treat her by just putting their hands on her- sounds crazy but remember osteopaths have to train a few more years after qualifying as a dr!
she may need more sessions but i am positive it will be worth it for her-and you.
Take care

I have recently been looking for cranial osteos in the NW for a MN friend of mine and thes are the recomendations I have had so far (please note that I know nothing about them but have been sent these names)

www.alexgreen.co.uk

and

www.occ.uk. com/appointments/

Osteopathic Centre for Children
Phoenix Mill
Piercy Street
Manchester
M4 7HY
Tel: 0161 277 9911

I don't know if that helps.

ps slinkstar osteopaths generally aren't Drs! (although some will have done both or have a PhD)

about the music hope the whales help (might relax Mummy if not dd2!)

oh sorry i thought they all were, i do think its worth doing though, esp for a prem baby.

well the paediatrician says she's just a normal baby but he does agree that she sounds like hard work.

he told us cranial osteopathy's a waste of time and money and she should just naturally outgrow her behaviour between 12 and 18 months.

but i think she'll then be heading into the terrible twos so when will it stop?

he is writing to our hv though so she can keep more of an eye on her behaviour (well she's seen dd2's behaviour when we were trying to get her to have a drink from something else other than my boobies)

A doc would say that. They like to think they are the be all and end all. We took our daughter (now 1) to a cranial chiropractor throughout her last year. She was 3 1/2 weeks early but only 5 lbs. Helped with sleeping, feeding, and achieving milestones - and a happier contented baby. can't recommend enough. Did you know that in Canada they (chiropractors) see newborns routinely.

Was wondering how you got on, bit of a limp response form the paed! . But take heart that she thinks your dd is normal and hope you can find some ways of settling her. Don't see why you shouldn't try cranial osteo glad someone linked to the charity. Would massage help do you think? Can you find any classes locally?

we did go to a couple of classes and we both loved it. the only problem is that it wasn't suitable for dd1 and i'm not getting help with her still. she's just been accepted to our local sn nursery so hopefully when she goes there i can take dd2 out more. i also want to take her swimming as she loves water.

Hope dd1 gets a place soon