Thought the novelty of sharing a room may have worn off a bit by now, but bedtimes are a nightmare!

[Pinkchampagne]

Since having to share a bedroom, my boys seem to think bedtime is party time, and it is really starting to wear me down.

I try to put DS2 up half an hour before DS1, but that doesn't seem to help. He either stays awake, or he is woken by DS1.

The boys go up at 7 & 7.30pm & 2 hours later they are still jumping about upstairs.

I have just been up to try to quiten down DS2, to find he has pulled out the contents of his bottom drawer, and he was out of bed.
This kind of thing is happening frequently, although I didn't have major bedtime problems when they used to have their own rooms.

I can't threaten to separate them as I only have a two bedroom house & they would see sleeping in my bed as a treat.

I really don't know what to do. I am getting pretty desperate now!

Maybe I am putting them up too early, I will try extending each of them by another half hour each tomorrow night & see if that makes a difference.
I have started a smiley chart, which they use throughout the day, but my mum & ex H keep spoiling that by buying them things regardless when I'm not around!
Will try to persevere with it though & maybe do a separate one for bedtime.

Oh wow, quite a bit later then! Maybe I am a mean mummy!

Well, tonight I decided to try sending the boys to bed 30 mins earlier than normal (DS2 still going up 30 mins before DS1), telling them that they were going to bed a little earlier because it took them so long to settle last night, but if they could prove they could settle down & go to sleep without making mummy cross, they could go to bed later tomorrow night. Grasping at straws, I know, but thought it may work!

They are both asleep now, but it has taken 1.5 hrs, and I have had to step in & separate them, due to hearing DS2 running about upstairs.

Don't really feel like I am getting on top of this at all.

My boys don't go to any clubs, but they do love to watch their Power Ranger DVD before bed, which I am thinking of stopping if they cannot settle to sleep at night.

I am so desperate for this bedtime chaos to end!

Hmmm, I think making it earlier one night and later the next is just going to confuse them. I know our bedtimes are late and no you are not mean! but it does sound like they aren't tired till nearer 8 or 8.30.

Like I say I put mine to bed late but dd literally falls asleep in 2 mins, ds1 can take longer to fall asleep but he never complains and I can just leave the room within a few mins. Anyway good luck with whatever you try!

I thought that going to bed earlier because of how they have been behaving at bedtime, may have been enough to make them think about calming down a bit so that they can go to bed that bit later the following night, but it didn't seem to work!

The thing is, they do need their sleep, which is why I cannot wake them in the morning, and this problem with getting them to sleep has only come about since they started sharing a room.

Don't let them watch power rangers before bed. Story downstairs best.
Put them to bed later - I wouldn't faff about trying earlier first.
Tell them, when in bed you expect QUIET (not silence) and to STAY IN BED (unless toilet natch).
Can you just think up one simple reward that only relates to bedtime and doesn't get confused with the stickers? Like, if they are thoughtful and sensible about bedtime during the week, you have a dvd and popcorn night on Sat or whatever.

But tonight you put them down at 7 and they wre aslepp by 8.30, is that right? That's not bad going at all. The main thing to stop for your own sanity is the carrying on.

Also what do you do when they go to bed?

I guess it was only an hour and a half tonight, but it seemed like longer because of how hyper they were.

The DVD is not watched in their room (they don't have a TV upstairs), but I allow them half an hour watching this in their playroom before bedtime.
I will try cutting out their DVD before bed, because maybe that's not helping, but they won't be happy!

When they go to bed I have a bath/shower, something to eat (eventually!) & just try to relax a bit, although the relax bit isn't happening atm!

Will try story downstairs tomorrow evening!

put one in the shared room first, put the older in your bed later, move him to his own bed when you want to go to sleep, and tell them that will continue until you know they behave.

it is so boring they'll soon be begging for another chance. If they play silly buggers again then, one warning, then remove older one to your bed again

it'll work, promise

lol @ them not being happy - you;re not happy!

Just wondered if you did anything which they perceived as 'fun'. Or which they could hear.

I'll give that a try I think, PPN. I am just so desperate that I will give anything a go!

I was going to try putting them up later tonight, but after another of struggling to wake them, I thought I would try putting them up earlier & explaining why. This didn't seem to work at all though, so will try putting DS1 in my room tomorrow night.

I think you have to make it very simple. If you can't go to bed nicely, X will happen, and X is very boring. Finito. No discussions, no fights, just calm "oh dear, well you've had a warning and you both need to calm down and go to sleep, so DS1 you go to sleep in my bed and I'll move you later".

And obviously vast quantities of praise and delight if and when they ever do manage to go to bed in the same room without making a racket

And FWIW I think anything more than 10 minutes to settle down and go to sleep is unacceptable and silly (in this sor tof situation - not eg sleepovers obviously). And I don't think 10 hours sleep is enough for a 4 year old and probably not for most 7 year olds either - and overtiredness will just be makng it worse.

Anyway, best of luck with it!

Thanks for the advice, I will give that method a go tomorrow evening.

I ended up going up & taking DS2 into my bed tinight, but they had more than just the one warning & I was at the end of my tether by this stage. I will try the one warning, then separate them tomorrow night.

I am willing to try absolutely anything to calm down bedtimes!

How much time do you ahve in the morning? Would it be possible to rush things a bit more then? My ds has 45 mins - fortunatley he is last for the school bus pick up so that's why he can get up at 8am. He was actually up before his alarm today, not much but at least I know he had enough sleep last night. He only needs 10 hours but is nearly 8. dd (5) still needs about 11 hours.

I know its awful, I still have my 3rd to put to bed after the other two and haven't had an evening for ages, however at least he still has a daytime nap.

DS1 doesn't rush for anything! It is a battle to get him to get dressed, put on his shoes etc as it is, so I cannot let them sleep in any later really.

"And FWIW I think anything more than 10 minutes to settle down and go to sleep is unacceptable and silly"

ppn. It's always taken mine (and me) a lot longer than 10 minutes

really? from lights off, head down, quiet now?

takes me (and mine) about a second and a half.

God, my two DSs lark about at bedtime - much the same sort of stuff as other posters - & it's very wearing. If I'm lucky they're both asleep by 8.30...then they're up at 6am (their choice). They're 3 & nearly 6 & I don't think they get way enough sleep, especially the elder one who obviously doesn't have a nap & has to get through school.

now who speaks to you like that, peanips?

Is it ever worth trying putting up a curtain or screen or something between the two beds? Obv it would get played with a lot but could it possibly stop some of the action?

doesnt sound like it and i only have one so will now exit this thread

They are in bunk beds, so can't really do that!

You need to look at all the ideas, pink, and choose ONE, then stick with it for a while to see if it helps you.

I know my dd2 would totally love it if she got in my bed at any point in the night and would not see it as punishment at all.