6 year old keeps zoning out

[susan198130]

I have a 6 year old boy who just seems to be a complete day dreamer. It often takes 4 or 5 attempts at saying his name to get him to even look up, then I'll ask him something, but then he's gone again. Then I'll say his name again a bit more loudly and he'll say "What?" as if I hadn't just been trying to get his attention for the past 5 minutes. He's generally doing something when this happens. It can be really hard to get his attention and keep his attention.

He's had his hearing checked, so that's not the issue. His school have also picked up on this and are going to look at ways of trying to get him to engage more.

Has anyone else experienced this? My husband can zone out and go off into his own world, as can my husband's sister. She's actually terrible for it. If she's watching something or looking at her phone and you speak to her, she won't even know you've spoken.

I'm just wondering if there's anything I can do to help and try and keep him focused when I want his attention?

I’m not an expert but I’ve recently been reading up on ADD and this sounds like it could be an ADD trait. It might be worth doing some reading up yourself

Could it be absence seizure?

I did come across absence seizures actually, but I'm not convinced it's that because he can focus on things he enjoys. Like watching the tv or playing a game. When he's doing something, he seems to get so absorbed in it that he isn't aware of his surroundings.

ADD is maybe a possibility, but he doesn't need to keep changing what he's doing. I just googled it, and one of the symptoms is "has trouble staying focused; is easily distracted or gets bored with a task before it's completed". I'd say this is only true for things he doesn't enjoy. If he's playing with his tablet, he could do that all day long if I let him. He also never gets bored. I think he just enjoys his own company so much, that he just keeps himself entertained, which is great, but I worry that this will isolate him.

I do wonder if he's hyperactive though. Unless he's in one of his zoning out sessions, he is literally bouncing off the walls. When we're out, he literally cannot walk properly. He's always jumping around, dragging his feet and just generally fidgeting. He's also never tired. He could stay up all night if I let him. The only time he is tired is when it's time to get up for school, but then I have friends who have boys and they say this is completely normal.

Is there any possibility he has autism? My son has autism and has very similar behaviours to the ones you describe.

Everyone in my family is like that and quite a few have been diagnosed with ADHD. There are various different types and sub types and many don't present with any hyperactivity (Inattentive type I think).

He does have some tendencies that make me wonder about autism. When he was at nursery, he used to zone out there, didn't play with the other children at all, could just roll a car around the floor for 2 hours quite happily, but he really didn't like that nursery at all. So I kind of put it down to boredom.

But because of this, they referred him. He was assessed in the nursery setting by a speech and language therapist and a health visitor. They did agree that he needed a little bit of help, but they weren't overly concerned. So they just gave him a bit of speech therapy. That was pointless because they obviously put him into the wrong area of speech therapy because all they did was ask him what things were, what emotions people were feeling in pictures. He could do all that. So they discharged him.

He was also assessed by CAMHS when he was 4. We had a 90 minute appointment with them where they assessed him. They said he was absolutely fine, but because he was isolating himself a bit at nursery, they'd work with the school to try and get him to mix a bit more, which they did and he does have some friends. He just doesn't make them that easily.

So I really don't know. I think he may have autistic tendencies, but then don't most people? I do know that he can be quite an anxious child though. He went through a phase of worrying about a volcano erupting and the lava getting us. He worried about when he accidentally swallowed a pip from an apple that he was going to die. I have no idea where he got that from. I wonder if it happened at school and one of the children had told him he'd die because of it. But he's over most of this now.

So I just really don't know.

Also, just to add, he does have some speech issues. He speaks perfectly clearly, and will also chuck in some big words occasionally, and use them in the right context, but he will often start a sentence but not finish it. He will try to finish it but he just seems to struggle to find the right words so just gives up.

It could be adhd, i have been reading up on it due to having some issues with my 6 year old daughter, maybe take him to the doctors an explain it to them

My youngest has auditory processing disorder and this sounds similar?

My DS used to do this. He said he would see colour spots in his vision or simply just day dream. Did this till he was primary 3 and just used to get average effort in his reports. He is in p6 now and completely grown out of it, his effort levels are v good.

I've not heard of auditory processing disorder, but I've just googled it and he doesn't seem to fit that. He doesn't have problems with people's names, although he used to when he was in nursery. He would only know a few kids' names, the ones that he liked, but generally, he'd have no idea of their names. Since he's been at school, he's year 2 now, he knows all the children's names, as well as others in different year groups.

Thanks Lushmetender. I'm hoping he's going to grow out of it. He's such a dreamer, bless him.

I am wondering about ADHD or ADD now though. I don't think he fits some of the symptoms, but then I guess there's probably a lot of different levels. I think if he does have this, then he probably has it mildly (in my opinion at least). He's a very well behaved child, especially at school, so no behavioural issues like that, but he does have problems with focussing on things. But if it's something he enjoys, he will give it all his focus, perhaps too much, to the point that he's zoned out of everything around him. They're learning about the Great Fire of London at the moment, and he's told me all about that. A while back, I think he watched something about the Titanic and he was telling me all about that.

If it's interesting to him, he listens, if it isn't, he doesn't. That's how I'd summarise him.

Hello OP @susan198130 , can I ask if this was something that improved with time and as your son got older or if you did pursue the inattentive ADHD route or something else? My son sounds very similar - zones out and trouble focusing unless it's something that really interests him. No disruptive behaviour in class, just sometimes appears not to get instructions on first go or second go.

Hi @3littleowls! Wow it's been a long time since I posted this. Yes, he's massively improved. I mean he's still away with the fairies sometimes, but that's generally if he's doing something that he's really into. But he used to seem to be almost permanently tuned out. Like you could be talking about him and he wouldn't be paying any attention. He's not like that at all now, he listens to absolutely everything we say.

But yeah, like I said, he does still drift off into his own world and I definitely think he is on the spectrum. He's actually having another assessment tomorrow so we'll see what they say, but the doctor said unless it's glaringly obvious, sometimes it can be hard to diagnose autism before the age of 7. He's now 10, so we should get some answers tomorrow, but the thing is, it's nothing that's holding him back. When he first started school, there were a few things he was slightly behind in, but he's doing so well now, he's exactly where he should be learning wise, and even exceeding expectation in some areas.

Anyway, hope that helps x

So even if you tell at him to get his attention ,he doesn't respond?
He sounds like any other child that age.

That's so helpful to know @susan198130 and I really appreciate your reply. It's reassuring to know that it can improve as time goes on. I'm hoping that might be the same for my son. He finds reading and writing challenging because of the focus needed, but if the activity captures his imagination he can manage it. Does that sound familiar or different to the situation you've seen?

Yeah my son was and still is to some extent a bit all or nothing I'd say. He's either all in and so focused it's hard to get his attention, or he's not focused at all and is daydreaming. As I said, he's definitely improved a lot, but he can still go off into his own world.

He used to be really bad with it though when he was younger, I'd have to say his name so many times before he'd respond. I'd ask him the question, he'd answer with a yes or a no, but I'd know he hadn't listened and just answered on autopilot. Like I remember asking him one time if he wanted school dinners that week at school. I was pretty certain he wanted want packed lunch, but I asked him anyway. I had to call his name about 3 or 4 times before he acknowledged me, then I asked him again and said "Do you want school dinners this week?" and he said "Yes" but I knew he wasn't listening and I was pretty certain he didn't want school dinners. So I asked him again and told him to concentrate on what I saying, asked him again and then he told me no he didn't want school dinners and I could tell he'd listened that time. But yeah, we don't have that problem with him so much now, but he's still a daydreamer.

@Chn2022 If only it was that simple 🙄

Thank you for your reply @susan198130 - really appreciate it. I feel like I'm at the start of a big journey trying to understand how to help him, and it means a lot to hear from someone who sounds to have had a very similar experience.

Hi @susan198130 sorry I know this is an old post but my son sounds identical to yours. Do you mind me asking if he got diagnosed in the end? I worry this zoning out will stop him having friends as he does it alot with kids, did your son manage to have friends even with this?