I am so desperate I need help/advice.
My 8 year old daughter is my life. It was always just us until I met my boyfriend. I gradually introduced them but things were strained. She hated me being next to him, holding his hand etc she has found it very difficult. He has been great. Involves her in as much as possible. Takes her swimming, park etc
I’ve always explained to her that I love her more than anything and no one would ever come between us. But she can’t see it. She’ll say to me ‘how much of your heart is for me and how much for him’. He’s even tried to explain to her that he’s not taking me away from her. That we can all be happy together.
He has two boys and she gets on brilliantly with them. Loves being with them. Loves going swimming with them all but as soon as it’s just the 3 of us again she just acts up.
I made the decision (not lightly) to move to be him and now we’re living in Belfast (was scotland). It’s been horrendous. She told me she doesn’t want to share me and that she wants no one else in our life. She refuses to do anything she is told. She won’t pick up after herself, won’t tidy her room. If I tell her it’s bedtime then she just says no. (This happened before I met my boyfriend too but def think being with him has escalated matters) NOTHING will change her mind. She screams at me and tells me what I NEED to do. Demands it. Last night was by far the worst night. We had a great day. Picked her up from school. Took her to McDonald’s. She had a homework pass so no homework so we sat and watched a movie. Once the movie was finished I told her to go and get ready for bed. That started it off. She refused. Nothing I did or said could make her. She turned violent (she has done this before - even before my boyfriend was in our life), slapped me, punched me, slammed the door so hard she almost smashed the mirror. She said ‘I’m going to go get a knife from the kitchen and kill you’ :( she screams to the point she makes herself sick. If I try and talk she covers her ears and screams ‘la la la’ if I try and walk away from her she screams and tries to pull me back. If I flinch when she’s trying to go for me or throw something at me she cries out ‘scardy cat’
I’m so heartbroken at the thought I have done this to her. I’ve taken her away from her school friends and I’m now making her live with a man who she sees as a threat. Her behaviour is escalating and I’m scared of what she might do.
I’ve managed to get the school involved as there she is the kindest, most polite wee thing in school so they don’t see it but I’ve explained everything to them and they are going to help out as much as they can.
What do I do. I love her more than anything else in this world and feel like I’ve just stomped on her heart. Please please help xx