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9 year old with anger issues, what to do?

2 replies

Keepkondoing · 19/09/2018 15:51

Had a call from school today to say my 9 year old DS (yr5) had various angry meltdowns in school today, seemingly over little triggers. It started in the morning and by lunchtime he was taken out of class after being violent to other children and put in with a teacher to help him calm down. They did say they had tried to give him time to himself to calm down before hand but he refused.

This has happened before in the past at school, although he has not been violent to his peers - usually it's throwing things or deliberately breaking them. He seems to have long periods of settled behaviour then a period of anger. They come from nowhere as far as I can be aware - this morning he left for school happy and he has settled really well so far in year 5 (he does have support for transitions). I've wracked my brain for things that may have gone wrong, two things stand out a possibles, he is starting an after school club today, one he has been very excited about but one he has always been too lacking in confidence to try before. He also complained of a headache this morning.

My concern is obviously the violence and also the fact that he can often lose his temper, once it's gone he struggles to calm down and gets emotional and embarrassed which turns back into anger.

He is a little ball of emotions, he can be the most loving child, he'll often be the first to check if friends or even strangers are ok if something has happened. He can also veer from happy to sad in minutes. We've got used to it at home and have probably developed many ways of avoiding triggers for him

Where do we go from here? Should I seek a referral from somewhere for help? How do I help him control this anger inside of him? It's not his fault be the behaviour he exhibits when he is angry is unacceptable.

OP posts:
Audreyhelp · 19/09/2018 17:43

I would go into the school and see what they suggest. He just doesn’t sound happy.

Readyplayertwo · 27/09/2018 07:18

Watching with interest as my ten yo has angry outbursts at home but never at school. He too is sensitive, emotional, very kind and caring, a ‘deep thinker’ and bright. It is usually associated with worry over something (secondary school at the moment). We can deal with it in the moment and know just how to calm him down but my struggle is balancing that with letting him know his behaviour is not ok. He often takes it out on his younger sister which isn’t fair on her. It is shouting rather than physical violence but it is very intense when it happens. We have been putting it down to a mixture of his personality traits and hormonal change plus impending life changes. He doesn’t like it and has once asked what is wrong with him, and I would love to be able to help him manage it better.

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