Is it better for ds to sleep in pram or his cot?

[Leah4]

Hi, my ds is almost 5 months and sleeps very little during the day. He normally has three short naps a day, which last a maximum of 40 minutes, and he wakes up tired.
If he awakes at 7.30am, he will be tired by 9.30am. He has all his naps in his buggy, which is placed in a quiet part of my house. I have to get him to sleep by singing and rocking it a bit. He will sleep longer if he is in the car or sometimes when I am out in his buggy. He used to go to sleep in his cot after a feed in the day, until he was almost 3 months. I do breastfeed him to sleep at night, before being put in his cot. He will normally stir after 10mins and cry, and my DH quickly gets him back to sleep. He wakes up a couple of times in the night and I have to give him a feed to get him back to sleep.

I would like him to go to sleep in his cot for day naps as there is more space and I am wondering what will happen once he gets bigger. This week I have tried to give him a feed before putting him in his cot but he just wakes up as soon as he's put in it. I then have to cuddle him, and try again yet he awakes again.

How can I extend his sleep, and also get him to sleep in his cot for naps? Sorry for the long post! Any suggestions would be welcomed.

If he is sleeping in the house then I would put him in the cot.

If you have been out for a walk and he is sleeping in the pram then I would leave him in it.

I don't think babies get enough fresh air these days - my babies used to sleep in their prams out in the garden. Fresh air seems to make them sleep for ages. Is that an option?

I would really recommend a book called 'The Baby Whisperer solves all your problems' by Tracey Hogg. It's a middle of the road approach - no leaving them to cry - but it will give you loads of ideas on how to extend naps and get him into the cot.

At the moment it sounds like he needs a bit of help from you to get to sleep and stay asleep, either by feeding, or rocking etc. IMHO it's good to teach them to do it on their own, as this can really help with night time sleep, not to mention give you more time to yourself in the day, but it really doesn't have to involve leaving them to cry it out. That book will point to in the right direction. It may take some work and perseverance, but it sounds like you're not that happy with your current situation, so it's worth putting the legwork in, and speaking from experience, in the long run it's definitely worth it!!

Good Luck!!

Mine have always slept in the pram/pushchair during the day. Same as mears, I'd put them out in the fresh air. They'd sleep for hours.
I'd walk to the shop for something and they'd nod off. When I got home I'd park them in the back garden without disturbing them.
The night time thing is something else. Sometimes though I would find that if they hadn't had enough sleep during the day they would be overtired at night and very restless.

DD would sleep anywhere so if at home put her in her cot and if we were out she would sleep in the pram. When ds was tiny I had a carrycot and that was his full time bed anyway so it was handy I could move the carrycot around the house as I needed then back on the pram for going out. He did have a few naps in his cot when he got bigger but never slept well I think he was too used to the noise of the house and it was too quiet. Now he has all his naps in the day in the pram because especially with having dd I am not tied to the house while he sleeps because he tends to be asleep when I have to take/collect dd from nursery so I can just go without disturbing him.

Thanks for the suggestions.

Mears - will try putting the pram outside in the garden, after returning from a walk. He does get lots of fresh air during school run and walks.

may try putting him in his cot and setting some type of routine. I have tried this and because he has a breast feed prior to going to bed at night, he expexts this. DH has also tried this week and he keeps looking round the room whilst being held, and cries.

I have tried the tips from Baby whisperer, but he ended up crying more and the pick up/put down just made him cry more! I know he can sleep for longer than 35 mins as he has done it a few times in his buggy.

Jojay - I would love to have a bit more time to spend with dd1 and to get some things done, or even rest! How did you get your little oone to nap, without cc?

Juule - how long did your children sleep in the buggy for? Did they ever sleep in their cots as they grew bigger?

Adath - how old is your little one, and how did you extend his naps?

My children had a daytime sleep in the pushchair until aged 2y+. If it was particularly bad weather (driving rain or fog) I would bring the pushchair indoors. Any other weather was fine for outside.
I didn't put them to sleep in the cot during the day at all. The cot and upstairs was for night time.

Did your children sleep for more than an hour at a time in the buggy? My DS will sleep for a maximum of 45 mins, whilst it is not moving at home, but he has also done a few longer naps in the buggy. I also started to let him sleep in the buggy so he would learn the night/day difference and it did help.

Leah he is 14 months now. He was such a poor napper what I did was kind of time his naps it did involve a lot of leaping up for a week or so but it worked in the end.
He used to power nap for half hour or so at most through the day. I am not a huge fan of routines as I find them a pain but felt ds was craving more structure so I noted the average sort of time he napped at and whn he woke up and became religious almost in the routine of putting him down. He used to doz off about 9am so started putting him down then in his pram dummy, teddy, song I still rocked the pram until he was asleep but it was exactly the same every morning.
When it was coming up to about the half hour when he usually woke I was already at the pram and when he started stirring I rocked the pram again until he went back to sleep, sometime it worked sometimes it never and other I had to do it 2 or 3 times.

It was a lot of messing about but honestly after aout a week to 10 days he was pop him in his pram with his bits while singing the song, go and get dd ready fir nursery and he sleeps for 2 hours, has done for months and months now.

Oh and I have NEVER told dd to be quiet when ds is asleep and hesleeps through anything unless he is ready to wake up anyway.

Hi Adath, thanks for the suggestions. Does your ds settle well at bedtime in his cot if he has all his day naps in the buggy? My DH wants to get ds in his cot soon as he is worried he will get too big for the buggy once older. Does your ds stll nap in his buggy and when did he start to have longer naps? Would be great if he could have alonger afternoon nap, and then he would not need another later one. I also have to collect dd from school and when he has not slept much in the day I usually take him out to the park.

After a week or so of grabbing the pram and rocking it as he stirred he started sleeping longer, he sleeps for 2 hours in the morning and usually a wee half hour in the late afternoon to keep him going until bedtime. I think because I got to him before he woke up he never realised if that makes sense, I knew he wasn't getting anough sleep during the day and extending his naps made it much better.

If anything he actually sleeps better at night now as he is not over tired from poor naps during the day, we have our usual routine of bath, pyjamas and milk and he knows it now so goes off to bed fine. When I stopped stressing about his sleeping and just went with it is when it really improved at night, I breast fed through the night until he was 10-11 months and used to just take him in beside me and feed now he never wakes up unless he is poorly.

He still naps in the buggy we have a big bebecar pushchair and a Loola and he sleeps in either no problem it is what he is used to now, in fact earlier her was trying to climb onto the wheels of the pram for a nap by himself.

Hi Leah4

I taught my boy to setle himslef to sleep at about 4 mths, 'cos up until then he had napped in the cot but I always let him fall asleep on my shoulder and then put him down. This was starting to take longer and longer so I decided it was time he learnt to do it on his own.

I started by getting him a mobile and some toys in his cot, and putting him in there for a bit to play when he was awake. I'd tried to put him down awake before and he'd got a bit scared of the cot I think, and would cry as soon as he hit the mattress, so I wanted him to be happy in the cot and realize it was a nice place to be.

Once he was happy playing in there and I knew he wasn't scared, I made the room dark and put a lullaby toy on, and cuddled him until he was nearly, but not quite, asleep. Then I put him down - he cried so I put the dummy in his mouth ( he hadn't really had it before but he took to it quite well after a few goes) and I held his hands to stop him flailing around, and did lots of loud shushing. I didn't pick him up again, as he was fairly calm with the dummy, but I stayed with him, shushing and holding his hands until he was completely asleep.

I did this routine (room dark, lullaby, dummy, hold hands, shush) for every single nap for a couple of days - he got better every nap and hardly cried at all. Then I stopped holding his hands and shushing, and by the end of the week I could just pop him down with the dummy and he'd sort himself out.

Now, a few months on, he is starting to go off the dummy on his own accord, so we only uise that maybe 50% of the time, but he's certainly not addicted to it, and settles himself really well.

I don't know if this will work for you, but it might be worth a go - a friend has had success with the same sort of thing. At no time are they left on their own, but they learn to fall asleep without help from you. Some would say you shouldn't use a dummy but I found them great!!!

Good Luck with everything!!!

Oooh yes have to second the mobile actually forgot about that. I bought the worlds most rediculously priced cot mobile with a night light diferent tunes etc and it has been worth every penny. I played the same one of the tunes every night when settling ds and this was a big clincher as it became his sleep association sound kind of thing it was as familiar part of routine as bath and feed.

Hi Adath and Jojay - thanks for the great tips. My Graco buggy is not that great on space, hence why I am worried that he will get too big later on to have decent sleep in it. My ds usd to like his dummy on occaisions but now takes it out his mouth or gets frustrated and cires if it falls out.

I started putting DS in his cot today, but I gave him a short breast feed prior to singing to him, closed the curtains, and the put him in the cot. I hope to stop feeding him to sleep once he gets used to going in cot, as he didn't do this before. As I feed him after cloing the curtains at bedtime, he expects the same for naps. What other sleep association could I use? He just looked at his cot mobile and thought it was play time, as he normally has it on during the day. It took about 45 mins to get him to sleep, by cuddling and singing. He then slept for the same amount of time. It did mess up his feeds today, and he later slept again in cot in the afternoon.

Would love to used his mobile before naps and bedtime, but it is so brightly coloured and quite loud, that he thinks it's play time!

You coud use anything that plays a tune, a toy it doesn't have to be the mobile. Your ds is only 5 months old so you will be surprised how long he will fit in his buggy for. I'll be honest he is still quite young and in a few months you might find his sleeping sttles down all by itself anyway. I know it is hard when you are tired but honestly the more you tie yourself up in knots about it the harder it gets. For a few days just relax and let him sleep when he wants where he wants take a note of it dop off/wake up times and there may be a loos pattern to work from and try settling for naps around thos times.

I don't use the mobile when I'm trying to get him to sleep as it is too stimulating - I just use a toy that plays a tune but doesn't move.

In order to create sleep associations I would make sure that whatever routine use use, such as draw curtains, switch toy on etc, be quite strict about it to start with and make sure you are completely consistent to begin with - you can lighten up once he's more established. My DS also likes a muslin which he holds and rubs his eyes with, but I don't think it really matters what you do, as long as you are 100% consistent.

It all depends how much your current situation bothers you. Like Adath says, he may grow out of it if you can cope with the situation in the meantime, BUT he may not - as the many posts from parents of older children with sleep problems testify!!

If you really want to change his behaviour, then by being consistent with what you do, you will. But if you're a bit half hearted about it because you're not really that bothered, and sometimes do the routine etc and sometimes feed to sleep, rock etc, then it won't work.

I was basically quite lazy and really couldn't be bothered to pace about with him on my shoulder for half an hour every time I wanted him to take a nap, so for me it was worth putting the effort in for a week or two, in order to get months and hopefully years of an easy life!! It's also meant that now he's with a child minder 2 days a week, he's settled in really well - I could hardly expect her to pace around with him!

I really believe you can change the behaviour of babies, without them suffering in any way, by being cosistent in how you handle them. But I also believe that what suits one family may not suit another, and if you and your baby are happy with what you do, then that's all that matters!!

Ooh, forgot to say that I think you are absolutely right to tackle one problem at a time too, putting him in the cot but letting him feed first. You can phase out the feed once he's happy with the cot. Going cold turkey on everything at once is bound to end in tears - yours and his I bet!!!!

Thanks for the further info Adath and Jojay. Sometimes feels like my ds is only baby who doesn't nap much, until I look at Mumsnet.

Adath, I know what you mean about thinking about his sleep all the time. Probably my Master Mind subject now! He is a long baby and my buggy is quite small. So pram will not last long for naps I think. Where would he then next sleep? I decided to be less rigid about it today and let him sleep in the buggy for his first nap. He settled very quickly after singing his usual song, and didn't need to be rocked. Did grumble a bit. I was at home today and was going to put him in his cot at 9am, but hadn't eaten breakfast and was too hungry to wait, if the cot settling took ages. I suppose it is better to be consistent Jojay, so he doesn't get confused. How old is your LO?

I used his sleeping bag, close curtains, music and cot toy as his sleep association. I did put him in his cot for a sleep just after lunch at 1pm, without feeding him. I did stay with him and he grumbled for a bit while I sang his song. He did take about 10mins or so to get to sleep.

He still only naps for 35 mins, and he did not have another nap once he awoke at 135pm today! he normally has three short naps. He really gets tired after 2 hours and he was so tired after he awoke, and he fell asleep after feeds in the afternoon for 10 mins or so. Funny, that since I have started to put him in his cot, he has not napped in the buggy today or car seat when out later in the afternoon. He would normally have a nap in buggy when out at about 430 or 5pm for 45mins. So he was very overtired in the evening. I had tried to get him to sleep at 4pm today after he was yawning, by taking him for a walk with dd1, but he just cried for ages. I ended up letting him sit up in the buggy, as it was too stressful!

Hope he has not forgotten to get to sleep when out in the buggy! So will take him out for his morning nap tomorrow. Or not such a great idea in terms of consistency?

Hi Leah,

The nap in the cot at lunchtime sounds like progress!! You said in your first post that previously you put him in the buggy for all his naps and had to sing and rock it a bit to get him to sleep, so if you got him to sleep in 10 mins with no rocking, that's really fab!! I'm sure that 10 mins will get shorter as time goes by.

It is a bit weird he didn't nap in the buggy and car later on though - my DS still naps happily in these despite going in the cot at home, so I don't know about that one. Saying that, the buggy used to be a sure fire way of getting him to sleep, but now he only sleeps in it if he's tired IYSWIM, whereas he nearly always conks out in the car. Maybe it was just a blip - see what he does tomorrow.

When I say be consistent, I don't mean don't ever go out again - life goes on as we well know!! So by all means take him out in the buggy if that's what you normally do. But if you do try and put him in the cot, be completely consistent about it. And obviously if you do this, say, 3 times a day, he will get the hang of it quicker than if you only do it once a day.

My DS was born in November and I found that sometimes, rather than tackle putting him in the cot, I would go for a walk in the freezing cold or pouring rain, when I really didn't want to go for a walk!!! And all to get him to sleep in the buggy 'cos it was easier. That's when I decided enough was enough and it was time to sort things.

My DS is 6 1/2 months old and I got him into the cot at about 3 months. I know it's easy to get really obsessed with their sleep, so I tihnk you're right to cut yourself a bit of slack at times, esp. if you know it wouldn't work out, like when he would be hungry this morning, or your other DC needs your attention.

My gut feeling is that as long as his buggy goes flat(ish) then, that would be my choice for day time and the cot for night time. I do think that distinguishing between night and day is helpful (personally). I also think that it is much better if you can carry on your day and not have to be back at home for his nap necessarily. But then I'm 'ard.

I fed my kids to sleep until they were at least a year. Now they're fine at going to bed (7, 5, 3). IMO you can get too het up about the 'rod for your own back' argument about feeding. It made my kids happy and relaxed, and I enjoyed it too.

Another plus for sleeping in buggy during the day is that if you want/need to go out you don't have to get the baby/toddler out of a warm cot and start with the getting into a buggy struggle (ending up with crying, irate, upset child). You just get the buggy and go.
I fed my children to sleep if they needed it, too.

I enjoy feeding before he goes for a sleep but I may be going back to wok soon and want to make it easier for my Mum when she has to look after him in the day. Also he will grow out of buggy soon and it will then be less comfortable for naps.
May just try and do one nap in his cot during the day when I will be home so he gets used to it. I enjoy going out and so does he. I also used to take him for a walk in the cold just to get him to sleep when he was very litle Jojay! Sometimes more of a problem when I had to also take dd1.

Leah I have found that with my 2 that they would not go to sleep with me without a feed when they were younger but would go to sleep on dp or my mum and dad no problem. It seemed as though as my ilk wasn't an option then it was no problem he just slept.

Just curious - How small is your buggy? I have visions of one the size of a child's toy
As I said mine slept in theirs up to 2y-3y old. Just normal sized buggies.