Settling at night time

[br123]

Has anyone got any advice, I'm currently breastfeeding my 4 month old daughter which is going great so far she has the occasional bottle (formula) however when it comes to bedtime she will not go to sleep at all unless I breastfeed her which I have now figured it's partly became a comfort thing she will sometimes have a bottle before bed but still won't settle and go to sleep unless she's on me and is breastfeeding which is fine by me but now it's came to her not going in her own bed no matter what, I will breastfeed her for however long then try and put her to bed in her own bed but she just won't have it and cries the whole time until I put her in my bed I wait for her to be tired then try again and everytime I put her down in her own bed she goes mental until I put her back in my own bed I don't mind her sleeping with me but I don't know if it's the right thing to do because I know it'll only get worse as she gets bigger I have tried numerous times to get her in her own bed but she just doesn't like it and I end back to square one with her either sleeping on me all night or beside me in the bed like I say I don't mind it but don't know whether that's the right thing for her?

Could you try sleeping with the sheet ( the one that you intend to use on her own bed for a night so it has your smell.
Warm her mattress (with the above sheet) with a not too hot hot water bottle. Cover with a blanket while it is lying on the mattress and remove both ma minute before you put her in.
Stay with her shushing and patting her ( have you tried this for up to 30 mins?)
Try a side sleeper cot!? Rent one via NCT?
Can someone else offer expressed breast milk and try to settle her?
Sorry if you have tried thus all already!

She’s so little. I promise you that she won’t be feeding to sleep and sleeping with you when she’s twelve, so does it matter that she does now at 4m old?

DS2 is the same age and he feeds to sleep on me in a darkened bedroom. Once asleep I give him ten minutes, make sure his arms are droopy (properly asleep), and put him in his bedside crib. I know I’m lucky, and t doesn’t always work so we go through the loop again when it doesn’t, but I’m not worried about self settling yet and certainly wouldn’t be giving a bottle to wean him off bedtime feeds.

Just enjoy them while they’re little and have faith - they’re happy and safe with their mum.

Thankyou for the advice I will try new things and go with the flow for now, I have a next 2 me beside my bed which in time will try and get baby into without making things too stressful and will defiantly be enjoying her while I can time goes too fast

br123 I've got a nearly 6 month old who does the same thing, so I am interested in any advice that can be given.

I don't feel comfortable with dd in bed with us (scared of squashing her etc) and me and dh don't sleep properly when this happens. Really want to settle on her own for this reason.
I have other children in the house and to avoid disruption, we generally just go with it but I am wondering when it will end. I am breastfeeding (dd just being weaned on to solids) and plan to go on for a bit longer. All the snuggles are lovely but lack of sleep for me affects everyone; I'd rather have the snuggles during the day and sleep at night!

Lavender could you get a side sleeper cot as mentioned above??

I do have a side sleeping cot and if anything it seemed to make things worse and as my baby could see me but wasn't actually on me so she seems to be more irritated! I have tried literally everything possible and I do believe it makes it harder when breastfeeding as I still am too it's hard when it becomes such a comfort to baby aswel as the obvious feeding. For now I am just waiting for baby to fall asleep on me then a good half hour later putting her into the cot and just letting her sleep until she wakes up again some nights are longer than others rarely! I love cuddling her in bed and love her sleeping with us but I have the same fear about squashing her or accidentally knocking her in the night.

Do you have any support? Any friend or relative who could help settle her?

Or could you afford a night nanny/ maternity nurse just for a week to her her into a good habit?

help her into a good habit...

My daughter only ever bf to sleep. She was in a side sleeper until she outgrew it when I co-slept with her until around 20 months. It felt right for us and we both got better sleep that way. I was constantly told she'd "never learn to self sooth" and it was utter rubbish in our case!
At 20-months she stopped going to sleep with me (was just getting distracted), so I moved her into her own bed. She's so secure and calm and we went from feeding to sleep at every nap/bedtime to reading a story, kissing her and her teddies and having her wave goodbye as we leave the room - practically over night.
Follow your instincts - you can't spoil a baby and they don't need to "be taught" anything imo so please don't fear you're doing the wrong thing. If you're happy having her with you, and she's happy being with you, that's definitely the best for you both

Both my boys were breastfeeding to sleep and I would put them into a cot when thry were in deep sleep. Both stopped falling asleep feeding sometime before their first birthdays, and honestly, I missed it. I was stressing about it with my older one to start with, but it got much easier when I ditched baby experts books and decided to go with the flow. And with my second one, I read so many books on Kindle when feeding him, I would even hold him fir much longer as required, to finish a chapter. Still miss those cuddles. I'd say go with the flow, babies change pretty fast, and don't believe if anyone tells you that it will cause problems later. She won't be feeding to sleep when she goes to uni!

My DD was the same in terms of needing to be breastfed before bed but we have now got her into a routine (at 3months) where my partner will giver her a bath, give her a bottle of expressed milk and then put her to bed. We have a cozzee bedside crib but we have it at the end of the bed so she isn't right next to us... It's also easier to get out of bed then. 😂

Keep at it, you're doing great job. 😊

Thankyou everyone it's a lot easier just doing what I think is best rather than trying to follow rules and books I think I will just go with the flow and see what happens

Sounds like the perfect plan. X