Ten month old with severe separation anxiety

[OnNaturesCourse]

Any tips on how to cope basically?

DC will scream if I even look like I am going to move away, and it sounds like someone is being murdered if I dare go to the toilet - I've actually resorted to taking DC with me and placing DC in the bath seat while I do my business.

Its very draining, and not to mention time consuming - I have to sit for twenty minutes each nap time or bedtime to sooth DC off to sleep. Then I have to sit/lie in the playroom while DC plays. We play together but most of the time DC will play alone happily so long as I am in view, as soon as I move all hell breaks loose.

DC rarely goes to anyone else without a fuss including my DP (Dad)

I know it's a phase but it's a hard one and I want to help DC realise that I'm not going to run away. It's been going on for about two months now. I thought crawling would help but if anything it's made it worse.

Haven’t got time to answer atvthe min sorry OP. I’ll try to come back later but hopefully this will bump for you

The absolute best thing that you can do is to go with it. If you need a shower, take them with you, need a poo, take them with you. Get a small box of toys and take it around the house with you for them to play with. If you need to prepare food, stick them in the high chair with something to play with.

The old MN mantra “this too shall pass” is so true. It won’t be long before you’ll be missing these days and they don’t want to spend time with you

Thank you.

The box of toys is a good idea, it is so very tiring having to entertain them 24/7. I never realised how much I like my personal space until this phase started. 😔

My 10 mo is exactly the same. So was my ds who is now 3. I figure this is just what babies are like. It makes sense really when you think about how vulnerable they are. Why would they ever want to be apart from the person who is basically keeping them safe and alive! I've developed strong arm muscles as she's basically on my left hip all day. But it does pass. Can't quite remember when with ds!

If they're happy in the buggy or a carrier I found the days much easier if I got out of the house morning and afternoon. Then they can watch the world go by and I don't have to do the entertaining. Also if you've got a garden mine likes just crawling around there for ages. I sit and have a cup of tea and fish pebbles and leaves out of her mouth...

Don't feel like you have to entertain them all the time. I did with my first and probably drove us both mad. With dd I just carry her round the house and do what I can ... sort some laundry, make a cup of tea etc. If I'm feeling particularly energetic and virtuous I narrate what I'm doing. The worst bit is the last few hours of the day when she absolutely won't be put down because she's tired. I make most of dinner one-handed ... frozen pre-cut onions are a life saver!

I've resorted to dragging out the old jumperoo and dragging it room to room as DC will sit happily in it so long as I'm in sight.

i second just go with it. i know you just want space sometimes and its overwhelming but to your baby he doesnt understand when you leave the room that youll ever come back, they dont understand time, a minute can feel like an hour to them. you can tell him your just going to the toilet just to the next room but for all he knows when you close the toilet door youve gone and got on a flight to mexico. ill never let my son cry becuase im going to the next room hes literally like an extra limb i dont mind really because if i stay in the room hell go off and play and be super confident hell check if im there now and then and continue to play. i would hate to feel that ive let him feel that ive abandoned him or that hes lonely or afraid. his feelings and mental health is more important than me wanting to go pee. y myself and my despration of wanting a bath alone its just till there two -3 then i can bathe alone and piss in silence again. not forever but there mental welbeing will be forever and there trust will be too. baby learns trust between 1 and 3 and if disturbed in that time can literally have huge impact on trust for the rest of your life. i know its super hard trust me ive had phases of not even allowed to put him down for around two weeks and i would cry at night when he was asleep but i knew it would pass. you just cant teach them something they dont have the capability to fully understand. peek a boo helps them understand but only to an extent because they just cant grasp it just yet not till around two years. but you do get pahasea when its worse this might be one of them. i hope itll pass soon for you xx

It's just so hard, and there are times where I have to put DC down (... Pets to look after, things to lift etc) and it breaks my heart when they burst into hesterics over it. I try to limit it, makes me feel like the worst mum ever.