being a two year old

[Kathmary]

I've just looked at KMG's message from a while ago and it really struck a chord with me! My daughter is a bit of an emotional terrorist (she's nearly 5) but has always been pretty easy going, great with social skills and not at all agressive. My lovely son is nearly 3 and has all the social graces of a caveman - hitting other kids on the head, getting really cross with his sister and mum and dad - and lately throwing himself onto the floor at very regular intervals in a fit of rage. He is SO different from my daughter and like KMG I have basked in my own (yes lets admit it slight smugness) reflected parental glory - it is not nearly so easy with Tom and at crunch times like morning and pre-bed he can be so stroppy and hard to negotiate with. We keep hanging in there, but it isn't easy!

Marina

The tine out thing sort of works as I sit her in her cot and tell her that I will come back when she has calmed down. She will continue to wail at the top of her voice but after 5 mins (seems like 5 hours!) I'll go back in and we have a cuddle and she is much better and this seems to be working.

Lil - my daughter went through the same thing and a friend suggested that you show them how to put their clothes on, showing them zips and poppers and buttons it worked for me and she can do the occasional popper now!

Good luck

Lil
My little one is just coming up 18 months now and he was exactly the same at 14 months. Even nappy changing was a battle I used to dread. It has definitely improved. I found that trying to make it fun was what helped best. I played 'peepoh' putting his t-shirt on and 'find the foot' with trousers. Obviously they have to be calmish to even attempt these kinds of distraction ideas, so I would start out doing silly songs "Where are the clothes?". I also found that chasing him around for 5/10 mins before getting him dressed helped too as he had expended some of that frantic energy before we began the wrestling match.
Good luck and don't despair - it will get better.

My little boy, 2 and a bit, was sent to nursery this morning with his Thomas PJ top still on. I couldn't face the battle of the PJ top "want Thomas, Where Thomas". I would normally distract him into something else "oh look there is a crocodile on this jumper", however, being a bad housewife as well as a weak mother no washing had been done.
He also insisted on wearing his Thomas socks on his hands, and he was happy and the satff smiled at the nursery, and i ran out of the door.

Snowy, what a laugh! I've been tempted to scoop up my son into his car-seat first thing, in his sleepsuit - but never had the nerve! but there'll probably be a survey out tomorrow, on how slapdash working mothers traumatise their children by sending them to nursery in their PJs!!

Youngest has been at it again, yesterday I was outside looking at some cows that are at the calving. One of which belongs to the kids and she is called Cathy coo!, youngest says, Cathy coo needs to go upstairs to bed mummy shes tired, I said no because she should shit all over the place, reply was, no she won't she can use the potty and put a nappy on at night!!

We had to take our son to the library two Saturdays ago with him wearing his lurid Floaties aquanappy (turquoise bri-nylon) OVER his jeans. He was also carrying a yellow plastic bucket.
There was about an inch of snow on the ground at the time.
When we got there, all he would say was "chips".

Tigger, how can you be feeling grumpy when your kids have such a cool take on life. That should go in the happy thoughts section because it made me laugh. The idea of a big old cow using a potty and in a nappy is just the best.

Marina - is he a Superman in training. Superman with turquoise underpants. Can he fly yet?

Who said this web sight had no humour? I laughed out loud when reading all the stories. Having said that Lolly is only 10 months old and is terrible to dress now, what hope do I have?

I do know tantrums are awful my sister had several a day, she specialised in lying on the floor and screaming in all the best shops.

Dressing our little boy (21 months), is like trying to dress an octopus, but he doesn't seem to mind what clothes we put on him. Crunch time comes when we try to put his shoes on to go outside.....he WILL NOT let us put on anything other than his bright yellow gumboots, no matter what the weather or where we are going!

Snowy, only when I have to hurl him at arm's length into the bathtub after a particularly noisome nappy...I could not stop laughing at the proud expression on his face as we waddled off to the library. They are last year's swim nappy so hardly on the big side anyway and over jeans they were so tight he looked like a 50km Walk competitor.
Chelle, I think it was your very own guru Steve Biddulph who suggested you prepare for trying to dress a toddler by taking a live octopus, a string bag, putting the former inside the latter and getting out of the house without any tentacles escaping. Boy was he right.
Socks on hands are a big fave in our house too. And that's just his mum and dad...

My son is not yet 2, in fact he has only just turned 21 months - judging from these messages am I to take it that things are going to get worse before they get better?!

My son is probably fairly typical but I am just wondering how to cope with it. He doesn't seem interested in his toys, and if he is albeit briefly it seems to consist in throwing them out of the box. His favourite activities are following me around the house and getting in the way, and if I do sit down then he wants to climb on my lap, if not that then onto chairs, tables etc. EVERYTHING is interefered with and I am running out of space to put things, piling them up higher and higher. The toilet roll is now so well hidden that we forget where it is.

I know all of this is totally normal but when does it get better (soon please?!). Is he bored with his toys because they are boring or does he just think that what I am doing is more interesting? I find it hard to cook a meal as he is always pulling at me. Any tips on how to amuse him would be greatly appeciated. He doesn't sit still long and isn't interested in drawing/building bricks etc. Also he doesn't seem to like TV (strange child!)

Well I am off now to take him for a walk as he does like that - I guess perhaps I should resign myself to not having any time to myself for the next few months/years?!

Oh - tell a lie one thing he is obsessed with is things with lids - sandwich boxes, tins etc. Trouble is they are often too tight and leads to frustration in getting them on/off. Does anyone know of any toys that involve lids? Thanks.

Eulalia, it sounds so similar to us, all these toys and he's not interested! Attention span of a ... goldfish! And funnily enough, doesnt like tv either, with my first I used to whizz round every morning while he watched Teletubbies. No hope now. My son is obsessed with money, has to be real not toy, taking it in and out of my purse, into pots and into money boxes. It seems to be the only thing that holds his attention. As for the lids, all I can think of are saucepan kitchen sets, I presume they have lids? Or various tupperware pots. We have a low cupboard in the kitchen dedicated to plastic bits and pieces, so my little one spends alot of time in there, there's probably about £2.50 stashed away in there in coppers!

Completely off topic, here.

Eulalia, I noticed on a message elsewhere that you are moving to the area I live in, Kincardineshire. If I can help in any way, let me know!

Chairmum - thanks for the offer of help! I would be interested to know of playgroups in the area. I expect there are a few in Stonehaven but I have transport so can easily travel.

I did live in Stonehaven 12 years ago and my parents live there now too so I do know the area. I lost touch with the few friends I had then and obviously wasn't a mother then so I am very much starting out again.

Ems - it is so funny how kids have their own little quirks - collecting money sounds like a good habit to have. Following on from our lid obession favourite toy at the moment is an empty milk carton as the lid is quite easy to unscrew on and off. He recently got a new toy from a relative - a red fire engine with lots of flashing lights and noises but after the first few days he lost interest. Just goes to show that ordinary household objects are good enough toys. He also loves toilet rolls and would quite happily unravel them all day long.

Eulalia, going back to your ealier point, I afraid you possibly have another year before things are bit more 'normal'.

As I wrote earlier about my runaway 2 year old, she's worse than that. The terrible twos is a bit of an understatement where she is concerned! She is mainly worse when we are out, as at home you adapt the house and put things out of the way etc. But when out the other day, she was quite happy playing in a ball pit with her sister, then she goes and runs off, I then pick her up she throws a wobbler and growls at me and throws her head round missing me by inches! She has brought me to tears before by swinging her head around and us banging heads, she doesn't cry though! Then if you take something away from her she shouldn't have, you walk off and she's behind you charging at you like a bull with gritted teeth.

She doesn't care who stands in her way, they get pushed and shoved, including older boys! She wacks her 4 year old sister if she has taken something from her, all through gritted teeth. We keep saying this time next year things will be different, I hope so!!

Hi, again, Eulalai. I'm just outside Banchory. I've a couple of friends in Stonehaven and from what they say, there's lots going on for under 5's. Hope the move goes well.

Hi Eulalia. Our 21 month old also has a short attention span when it comes to elaborate toys. Like yours, he absolutely loves household items and climbing on the table and emptying the fruitbowl is his favourite activity of all. Of the toys that do hold his attention, it is the simple ones every time where he creates his own games around them that he goes back to. His absolute favourite is his set of miniature padded golf clubs which he puts to all sorts of uses. He also absolutely loves his set of 10 matchbox cars. He is also very keen on books. In particular, the "My first Word" series by Dorling Kindersley is a big hit. Lots ofvery clear pictures of everyday objects which he looks as for ages. Generally, any large toy is a waste of time for him.

Bells, what is it with fruit bowls? I left our son proudly sitting up at the big table yesterday for FIVE minutes with Mr Potato-Head (plastic not real) while I tried to cook his lunch and when I came back in there were little half-moons missing from every single one of the 1kg pear consignment I had put out that morning.
Eulalia, along with the other suggestions here (the DK books are really good, our son can now identify a scorpion fish, jolly useful in SE London), try a plastic tea/cooking set. Our son loves his and will happily "cook" alongside me. Now that he does not sink his teeth into everything around him we also let him have some new potatoes, shallots and cherry tomatoes to "cook" and it kept him quiet for ages. As did taking the lids off and on the teapot, kettle etc, feeding his dolly tea. More elaborate toys kindly given by childless friends have long fallen by the wayside.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I am going to get him a tea set. I also use the local toy library a lot which helps although they don't have that many things with small parts for obvious reasons.

Chairmum - Banchory is lovely. It is the Mearns we shall be living in, quite different from Bridge of Don where I am now. I am looking forward to becoming a "country quine".

Eulalia, our little boy is just coming up 19 months now and he is not interested in toys at all. Here are some of the household activities that he loves. He has a box of old buttons and some small egg cups and he pours the buttons from one cup to another for ages. Also can you stand him on a box in front of a handbasin or kitchen sink and let him pour water in cups for a while. I get at least 15 mins of jobs done while he is "doing the dishes". I also get the Dyson out and turn it on and he will happily push that around "cleaning" for me for 15 or so mins too.
He also likes polishing things, so I get a cloth and some small household objects that I am not too worried about and he will rub them with his cloth.
If your little chap is into household stuff, you might want to consider looking at doing some Montessori activities at home. You can get books about this kind of thing and it gives a bit of direction to their energy!

Thanks Bugsy - I think I'll try the egg cup idea. He loves water but is rather messy with it and would tend to tip it all over himself so I tend to restrict those games to bath-time and I intend that for outside in the summer (if we ever have one!)

He also loves helping with the housework and I give him a cloth, attachment off the hoover etc. Today I sat him at the kitchen table and he did play for awhile although very noisily as he wanted to bang things onto the table. At least it was better than climbing on top of it!

Montessori activities? This sounds interesting - must look more into it.

Bugsy, when do you start your training? I'd love to hear more about what it involves and what you think of it.