Sleep/nap routines

[bbpants]

OK - I have a 10-week old, and I'm beginning to worry that I haven't really got her in a good sleep routine. She was 5 weeks early and tiny so I allowed myself to go with the flow a bit and probably had her on me a bit too much. Daytime naps have been a bit hit and miss and have often consisted of the two of us catching forty winks on the sofa. Her last feed is about 10.30 - 11pm, and I try to put her in her basket after that. On a good night, she'll sleep on her own until about 2.30 - 3 am, wake for a feed and then sleep by herself until about 5.30 am. If I bring her into the bed with us, she'll sleep for longer, but I don't really want to keep doing that.And the last few nights, she really hasn't settled well in her basket, day or night. I'v also been trying to settle her earlier (7 or 8 pm), but she doesn't seem to like that at all!

Have I been really rubbish, and therefore leaving myself open to years of bad sleeping? Or is it too early to panic?

Words of wisdom gratefully received!

I really don't think you have left it too late - I left it untill about 12 weeks with dd (now 17wks).
Try putting her down 15minutes earlier each night untill you get to a time that works better for you. I did this with dd, who was also not going to sleep properly until about 11pm. it was abit irratic to start off with but for the last week I have put her down, awake, in her cot at 7pm and by about 7.20-7.30 she is asleep! It is wonderful!

She didn't like it at first as she was used to falling asleep on me, rocking her or feeding her. I found that I could never get around to having dinner properly etc and dd would end up overtired as I was just kind of waiting and hoping she would fall asleep eventually. When I put her down after a nice cuddle I stay with her soothing and stroking her until she calms and fall asleep. The first time took about an hour, then gradually less each time - tonight took her about 10minutes!

hth - good luck!

You've not been rubbish! Your dd is 5 weeks old in real terms and you have naps and betime routine already established - sleeping from 11.30am to 3am? - well done!

Until they are @ 3 months old they are really just trying to get a feel for life and used to their surroundings. You have got a good base in already having set nap and sleep times try not to worry if they don't go to 'schedule' (speaking from experience I became obsessed with ds's nap times) Yes have a routine but let them dictate it a bit too.

We also occassionally brought ds into bed when he wouldn't settle but I was too paranoid about squashing him that it never worked. Have you tried swaddling? We moved ds into his cot at 7 weeks as his arms kept hitting the side of his basket.

I can only go on my experience of the last year but I sing the praises of getting lo's into a good routine, they know where they are, they thrive on good rest times and it gives you some well needed breaks from them during the day.

It does get easier (though I wouldn't have believed it last summer!!)

Thank you both - much appreciated!

We're similar to cathcart - our DD was 9 weeks old when the bed time routine started properly. She never used to settle in her cot, so she ended up staying up with us until we went to bed at 10:30 / 11ish and then it was feed/ bed and then much as you describe. At 9 weeks, i decided that enough was enough and prepared for a 2 week 'transition battle' - we gave her a bath at 6:15 followed by from that point on, no talking or stimulation and lights off for her feed and then in bed by 7pm. She was fine for a few mins and then started calling me, so I went in, hand on the chest and 'ssssh'. If she got upset, I would pick her up and settle her and then put her straight back down. If she wouldn't settle, I would offer more milk, settle her and then put her back down. I would always leave the room while she was AWAKE (the aim is so that they can settle themselves). This process was repeated as often as necessary. I wasn't comfy with controlled crying but was happy to make sure that she was ok without stimulating her in any way. It actually took just 3 nights I think before she adopted her new bed time and we haven't looked back since. Sometimes she has unsettled evenings and we're up and down like a yo yo but I think that's just normal. Other times we don't hear a peep until her next feed. the feed times shift and change constantly but the general trend is that you get longer between them as they get older though sometimes you think you've cracked it and it all changes again. Completely normal!!

Weeeell, dd didnt get into a proper routine until she was (gasp) 6 months old. Then with some work she went very easily into the following: 9.30 nap (1-2 hours) 2.30 nap (shorter, less than an hour) and 7.30 bedtime (sleeps through to 6.30 / 7am).

Before 6 months it was very, very haphazard. Andrea Grace really helped us get it sorted (andreagrace.co.uk) but I know other mums that got their babies into decent routines around 4-6 months, using a variety of methods. Whatever you do, you've got plenty of time.

Meanwhile, just relax if you can and enjoy these early months. I know, its easy to say, hard to do. I spent the first 6 months of dd's life an underslept bundle of stress, constantly worrying about getting it "right". Its astonishing how much the lack of sleep can affect your ability to trust yourself. But it sounds like you are doing great, most babies just don't sleep for long stretches at this point but it does pass, I promise!

It is DEFINITELY too early to panic.

It is def too early to panic - they are all different and before ours settled in to the bed time routine, she was 'having none of it' at 7pm and so we gave up and then tried again a couple of weeks later when she was a bit older. It's also got to be what's right for you. I know people who's LO goes to bed at 10 ish and wakes up the next day at 10 ish (with all the usual night feeds etc) and that suits them. Our DDs bed time is the only predictable thing in a 24 hour period - the rest changes like the wind! And bed times can be 'decided' at any time - 10 weeks is still very new

Thank you all - that's great. I think I'll continue concentrating on trying to get her used to settling herself and I won't panic about the actual bedtimes for now! We have either very good nights or very bad ones at the moment, nothing in between, so I know she can settle if she's in the mood for it - a glimmer of hope, I feel!