Hi, I have two boys 7 and almost 4. 7 year old is the polar extreme to the 3 year old. He is quiet and gentle and all in all a pleasure. He has a diagnosis of dyspraxia and really needs his down time as things like school, are very taxing on him. He is quiet happy doing quiet activities and does like his computer etc. 3 year old is very spirited, always has been, loud, energetic and needs to be on the go all the time. He is very bright and funny and a real character but is becoming very over bearing where my older son is concerned.
Younger son really bosses him around, wants him not to be on his computer or sitting quietly and wants him to play with him, or watch tv with him. If they are playing together, it has to be exactly how the younger one want it to be. He can be extremely bossy and gets very angry when if older son doesn't comply. He will then resort to taking his book or his games console and running around with it or generally being annoying by jumping on him etc. He has also hit and kicked him when he didn't get his way. He also doesn't like older one having anything he hasn't got and will snatch his stuff etc. He speaks very rudely to him and demands he does stuff! Not nice at all and I really feel for my older lad.
Older son generally gives in after a lot of shouting and argy bargy ( noise levels are off the scale! ) and I think this has heightened the issue because his tactics work! I am now trying very hard to have zero tolerance but have to admit that I have prob turned too much of a blind eye in the past, putting it down to a phase, and this has also added to the issue.
Presently I am doing a reward chart, so every time he is mean / Bossy / rude, he loses a gold star and can obviously win one when he is being kind to his brother and general good behaviour too. It is working to a degree but it's such hard work. Any other advice or strategies would be very welcome.
I should also add that he goes to a childminder in the week and plays lovely with the other children, very polite and well behaved so seems to be just an issue at home. Also I'm pregnant, with another boy and I'm pretty concerned how I will cope, especially with the noise levels and a newborn! 